issue109

purewolfUID: 108461

109 "The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel
better about themselves."
第一段 广告的确对卖东西很有用
第二段 广告起作用的原因
第三段 广告并非真的就一定让人感觉好

自评 观点好像不够鲜明，不知道这样的论点行不行，好像就是在解释一件事情一样

The speaker claims that advertisements benefit both company who want to sell product and consumers who have bought the products. In my view, an attracting and artistic (artistical) advertisement helps a company sell product, but it does not always help the people's confidence.

No executive should neglect the effect of advertisement for sales. We confront countless advertisement of various categories everyday through television, radio, and advertising board. The advertisements help people acknowledge certain brand of product. I clearly remember that in last Spring Festival, my father told me he had a dream at the eve, in which was full of the advertising saying of Nao Bai Jing, a health drinking, whose quotidian advertisement time put together half an hour on nearly every channel. As a result, many people send the Nao Bai Jing to their friends and relatives; the receivers also felt enjoyable for receiving such gifts.

Why are people willing to buy the products in the advertisement rather than others, even when they had never examined it qualities? There are at least two reasons for it. Firstly, the advertisement can give people a feeling, which sometimes can be an illusion, that the products are brand-name goods. Secondly, the advertisements stimulate people's feelings, such as fear, identity, eagerness, and pride, etc. For example, the advertisements of head-shoulders (shampooo) are often accompanied by pretty girls who have a beautiful, clear, well-shaped hair and by a saying: Do you want to like me? Head-shoulders can help you. Every girl will be eager to be like the model after seeing the advertisement.

Do the consumer really feel better after they buy the products? Maybe sometimes, but if the qualities of products are poor, the buyers feel nothing except sadness and being cheated. When the product's qualities are as good as other products of same kind, the advertisement can have a heavy effect. A company whose products are of worse qualities would never benefit from an advertisement.

In sum, the advertisement is useful for a company for that it can lift its fame immediately, but it is not valid for any company. The correct way for the development of one company is to lift its qualities of products, and then to propaganda it with the advertisement.

purewolfUID: 108461

dddddddd

dreamflyerUID: 21967

嘿嘿，wolf是个两面三刀的家伙……＃￥◎￥◎％＃……＃
偶可是一直遗憾imong没有给我改过作文……挺希望他当年给偶劈头盖脸一下子的：）

The speaker claims that advertisements benefit both company who want to sell product and consumers who have bought the products. In my view, an attracting and artistic (artistical) advertisement helps a company sell product, but it does not always help（enhance之类的吧，好一点） the people's confidence.

No executive should neglect the effect of advertisement for sales. We confront countless advertisement of various categories everyday through television, radio, and advertising board. The advertisements help people acknowledge certain brand of product. I clearly remember that in last Spring Festival, my father told me he had a dream at the eve, in which was full of the advertising saying of Nao Bai Jing, a health drinking, whose（which，，，） quotidian advertisement time put together half an hour（everyday） on nearly every channel. As a result, many people send the Nao Bai Jing to their friends and relatives; the receivers also felt enjoyable for receiving such gifts.(这一段实在别扭：P 这种举例子的方式似乎太随意了，，，)

Why are people willing to buy the products in the advertisement rather than others, even when they had never examined it（their） qualities? There are at least two reasons for it. Firstly, the advertisement can give people a feeling, which sometimes can be an illusion, that the products are brand-name goods. Secondly, the advertisements stimulate people's feelings, such as fear, identity, eagerness, and pride, etc(fear?有些奇怪噢，，而且不要用etc这样的缩写比较好。用and so forth之类的). For example, the advertisements of head-shoulders (shampooo) are often accompanied by pretty girls who have a beautiful, clear, well-shaped hair and by a saying: Do you want to like me? Head-shoulders can help you. Every girl will be eager to be like the model after seeing the advertisement.

Do the consumer（s） really feel better after they buy the products? Maybe sometimes, but if the qualities of products are poor, the buyers feel nothing except sadness and being cheated. When the product's qualities are as good as other products of same kind, the advertisement can have a heavy effect. A company whose products are of worse qualities would never benefit from an advertisement.

In sum, the advertisement is useful for a company for that it can lift its fame immediately, but it is not valid for any company. The correct way for the development of one company is to lift its qualities of products, and then to propaganda it with the advertisement.

这一篇真的不如上一篇。虽然语言没有太多的毛病，但是，不像GRE作文啊，像toefl多一点。观点也不够深入。
其实应该很好写啊。你的分论点很好啊，举例的时候不要太生活化太随意，尽量把每个分论点说透一些，扯远一点。
嘿嘿，努力！

chenguang104UID: 125198

我前两天写的，大家也给点意见吧
"The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel better about themselves."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently, there is a popular advertisement broadcasted in CCTV-1: Jay Chou, the most popular R&B singer in China, holds a CDMA mobile telephone made by Panasonic speaking out “Come on everyone! Believe me and no mistakes!” Then the consumers, particularly the youths, hurried in pursuing this kind of handset in the hot courage by this advertisement. In fact, most of the consumers who have bought the handsets applause the quality of the handset and thanks to the advertisement for making them really like the person in the ad and feeling better about themselves. The issue, in reality, is more complex than the speaker suggests. In my observation, the effects of the advertisements should be taken into consideration in details.

On the one hand, advertisement is necessary for the citizens in our daily lives not only in our work areas but also in our living. The advertisements broadcasted either in television or on the radio provide a lot of information about the recent products with new technology, new methods to treat the diseases, and every aspect in our living. Thus, through the advertisement, the people suffers from the discomforts could benefit from buying the products and use them. No doubt, the advantage of advertisement plays a key role in our daily lives. In studying areas, for instance, thanks to the contribution of advertisements in persuading to sell a new kind of computer, the recent survey indicates that in Wisconsin University there are more than 500 students who purchased the computer and used them gain higher grades than those another 500 students in which most of them have not passed the examinations. From this, advertisement, in reality, brings citizens more comforts and convenience.

On the other hand, if the advertisement really could be serviceable for the citizens, in return, the manufactures that produce the products will benefit from them and promote the speed of economics. As far as we know, the promotion of the economic in one aspect is relevant to the consumption of the customers. As a matter of fact, the advertisements help to accelerate the boom of the economic by making customers familiar with new products and encouraging them to purchase the products. Suppose there is no advertisement in media propagation, how can the speed of the economic advance and how can we earlier realize the modernization? Just as the advertisement about CDMA handsets illustrated above, the Mobile companies such as Nokia, Panasonic, and etc. make a great contribution to economic areas and facilitate the citizens’ daily lives.

Admittedly, some advertisements broadcasted in the media have bad influences on not for promoting the economy but persuading customers to purchase their inferior products. Here take a popular Chinese operculum for example: a consumer who is afflicted with a bad headache tends to purchase some medicines to cure his disease. But unfortunately, the medicine provided in a shop is an inferior product, which makes him much more aching. Things not come singly but in pairs, some consumers who bought the bogus wine for celebration also suffered the pains brought by the fake products and, in particular situations, the fake wine makes a fatal threaten to the customers. From this point of view, consumers should pay much attention to the inferior products and the governments should take some effective measures to forbid broadcasting that kind of advertisement and direct the trend of the propagation to be on the right track.

In sum, the propagation of advertisements promotes the consumption of the products. Thanks to its contribution to our lives, we live a better life than before and become be informed. Meanwhile, the restrains on advertisement is necessary when we are striding for the human modernization.

purewolfUID: 108461

居然说我两面三刀，无所谓，我从来不计较的~
我是很感谢imong啊~我可是有说明的~
要是我早点看到你改的就好了，没准今天就会写得好一点！
可惜昨天没上成~
谢谢你拉

[B]嘿嘿，wolf是个两面三刀的家伙……＃￥◎￥◎％＃……＃
偶可是一直遗憾imong没有给我改过作文……挺希望他当年给偶劈头盖脸一下子的：）

The speaker claims that adv..

以下省略...... [/B][/QUOTE]

dreamflyerUID: 21967

"The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel better about themselves."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently, there is a popular advertisement broadcasted in CCTV-1: Jay Chou, the most popular R&B singer in China, holds a CDMA mobile telephone made by Panasonic speaking out “Come on everyone! Believe me and no mistakes!” Then the consumers, particularly the youths, hurried in pursuing this kind of handset in the hot courage by this advertisement. In fact, most of the consumers who have bought the handsets applause the quality of the handset and thanks to the advertisement for making them really like the person in the ad and feeling better about themselves. The issue, in reality, is more complex than the speaker suggests. In my observation, the effects of the advertisements should be taken into consideration in details.（hoho，第一段好长！写法很新颖嗄，语言也很好！不过，逻辑方面好像不是很紧……）

On the one hand, advertisement is necessary for the citizens in our daily lives not only in our work areas but also in our living. The advertisements broadcasted either in television or on the radio provide a lot of information about the recent products with new technology, new methods to treat the diseases, and every aspect in our living. Thus, through the advertisement, the people suffers（单复数） from the discomforts could benefit from buying the products and use them. No doubt, the advantage of advertisement plays a key role in our daily lives. In studying areas, for instance, thanks to（owing to，，，换一下） the contribution of advertisements in persuading to sell a new kind of computer, the recent survey indicates that in Wisconsin University there are more than 500 students who purchased the computer and used them gain higher grades than those another 500 students in which most of them have not passed the examinations. From this, advertisement, in reality, brings citizens more comforts and convenience. （观点很新颖！角度很好！例子稍嫌单薄）

On the other hand, if the advertisement really could be serviceable for the citizens, in return, the manufactures（manufacturers） that produce the products will benefit from them and promote the speed of economics. As far as we know, the promotion of the economic in one aspect is relevant to the consumption of the customers. As a matter of fact, the advertisements help to accelerate the boom of the economic by making customers familiar with new products and encouraging them to purchase the products. Suppose there is no advertisement in media propagation, how can the speed（development） of the economic advance and how can we earlier realize the modernization? Just as the advertisement about CDMA handsets illustrated above, the Mobile companies such as Nokia, Panasonic, and etc. make a great contribution to economic areas and facilitate the citizens’ daily lives. （依然是很好的角度！）

Admittedly, some advertisements broadcasted in the media have bad influences on not for promoting the economy but persuading customers to purchase their inferior products. Here take a popular Chinese operculum for example: a consumer who is afflicted with a bad headache tends to purchase some medicines to cure his disease. But unfortunately, the medicine provided in a shop is an inferior product, which makes him much more aching.（例子应该用一般过去时。） Things not come singly but in pairs, some consumers who bought the bogus wine for celebration also suffered the pains brought by the fake products and, in particular situations, the fake wine makes a fatal threaten to the customers. From this point of view, consumers should pay much attention to the inferior products and the governments should take some effective measures to forbid broadcasting that kind of advertisement and direct the trend of the propagation to be on the right track.

In sum, the propagation of advertisements promotes the consumption of the products. Thanks to its contribution to our lives, we live a better life than before and become be informed. Meanwhile, the restrains on advertisement is necessary when we are striding for the human modernization.

很好的文章我觉得。不过不知道你什么时候考，不知道改的来不来得及。
角度很新颖，例子也很中国化，看的我点发蒙，不知道ets那些人是否可以接受：P
一些小错误，只要细心就可以避免。
不管你考了没有，祝考好！