issue43 （revised by hehui）

clarity_girlUID: 134917

是模考状态下写的，用了50分钟
开始的时候，觉得好咸好写。。可是一想到限制时间，，，，我就手发抖。。。。紧张。。。这考试的时候怎么办啊


43. "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

Only the public official who is with the highest ethical and moral standards can be an effective leader?  I am afraid the assertion is too superficial. Although we have to admit the moral and ethical is the necessary for our society,  the morality and ethicality is the necessary condition for being effective leaders? I think the most important we should understand is what the 'effective' means.

Admittedly, morality and ethicality is the necessary for the public. We all interest in preserving our freedom and democrativ way of life. At the very least, ehtical and social values is requried for our democracy to survive---particularly the values of respect and tolerance. Respect for individual persons is a basic ethical value that requires us to acknowledge the fundamental equality of all people, a tenet of a democratic society. Tolerance of differences among individuals and their viewpoints is required to actualize many of our basic constitutional rights--including life, pursuit of happiness, and freedom of speech and religion. However, for a public official, we should have the different requirements compare to the public.

The prominent achievement in their fields or have outstanding thoughts to lead to sucessful, in my opinion, is strong persuative for an effective leader and the most necessary. In my opinion, we have the different requirement about morality and ethicality for the leader in diferent fields. In the politic realms,  the politician has to use some means in order to gain the power or achieve their purpose. Complete honesty merely prove his or her incapacity, and even become the disadvantage used by his or her opponents.  For example, during the compaign, adversaries attracked others' whole disadvantages even reveal some privary secrects. That absolutely reverse the public morality, who wouldn't be admired and revered by the people when they use the power gained by such means to do somethings for people.

In the military realms, the effective leader who want to be victory, he or she had to play some stratagems. There is an old ways: if only gain success, he is an good solider. Similar that means the effective leader is who can defeat oppents and enemies in wars no matter which means be used during the wars, yet that's a old view. Today, the effective leader in warfare is who can both gain the victory and try his or her best not to harm the innocent lives. In the scientific and the medical realms, the leadership shoud have a certain morality and ethicality to determine which topic should be research and which would lead to the harm effecitve for the human beings.

To sum up, although the morality and the ethicality is the neccessary condition for our democrary society, we should separate the morality for the public and the morality for the public officials. To judge whether he or she is an effective leader, the crucial way is to compare the benefits from him or her to peolple to the immorality of him or her, and consider whether his or her immoral behavior has the bad effective to the country and people, and in the final, the important point should be attention is that the requirement should be different for the different realms leaders.

clarity_girlUID: 134917

自己顶！
斑竹～～～～～～帮忙看看啊

hehuiUID: 134334

一、结构：基本上可以了。但要注意文章前后的呼应：比如你首段最后提出了个概念，就是究竟什么是有效的，在让步段后应该有个总领句回答一下这个问题。我理解你的意思是：不同领域对领袖有不同要求，是吗？
结尾呢“to compare the benefits from him or her to peolple to the immorality of him or her, and consider whether his or her immoral behavior has the bad effective to the country and people‘这一句上文没有太多体现，显得有点离题。一般来说结尾就是把支持段的主题句换个说法说出来，这样的话也比较省时间。

二、细节，你的语法错误可比较多哟，可能是时间太紧把，但一定要注意。主要问题是词性和词的用法，具体如下：

Only the public official who is with the highest ethical and moral standards can be an effective leader? I am afraid the assertion is too superficial. Although we have to admit the moral and ethical（这两个都是形容词，不能作主语哟） is the necessary（necessity) for our society, the morality and ethicality is the necessary condition for being effective leaders? I think the most important(the most important thing) we should understand is what the 'effective' means.

Admittedly, morality and ethicality is the necessary(again) for the public. We all interest( be interested in) in preserving our freedom and democrativ(e) way of life. At the very least(at least就可以了）, ehtical and social values is（are) requried for our democracy to survive---particularly the values of respect and tolerance. Respect for individual persons is a basic ethical value that requires us to acknowledge the fundamental equality of all people, a tenet of a democratic society. Tolerance of differences among individuals and their viewpoints is required to actualize many of our basic constitutional rights--including life, pursuit of happiness, and freedom of speech and religion. However, for a public official, we should have the different requirements compare(comparing) to the public.

The prominent achievement in their fields or have outstanding thoughts to lead to sucessful, in my opinion, is strong persuative for an effective leader and the most necessary.(try to rearrange the structure of the sentence, it's too vague) In my opinion( avoid repeating the phrase" in my opinion, try using in my point of view or else), we have the different requirement(s) about morality and ethicality for the leader in diferent fields. In the politic(political, politic 指策略性的，而你这里是想说”在政治领域“把？） realms(realm), the politician has to use some means in order to gain the power or achieve their (use "his" to match your previous person)purpose. Complete honesty merely prove(s, pay attention to your subject of the sentence) his or her incapacity, and even become(s) the disadvantage used by his or her opponents. For example, during the(a) compaign, adversaries attracked others' whole(whole不太恰当） disadvantages even reveal （时态前后要一致）some privary（private) secrects. That absolutely reverse the public morality, who(subject??) wouldn't be admired and revered by the people when they use the power gained by such means to do somethings for people.

In the military realms(realm), the effective leader who want to be victory, he or she had to play some stratagems. There is an old ways: if only(if only是用于虚拟语气的， ”只要“用as long as) gain success, he is an good solider. Similar(词性， similarly) that means the effective leader is who can defeat oppents and enemies in wars no matter which means be used("by which means" is better) during the wars, yet that's a(n) old view. Today, the effective leader in warfare is who can both gain the victory and try his or her best not to harm the innocent lives. In the scientific and the medical realms, the leadership (leadership不能指人）shoud have a certain morality and ethicality to determine which topic should be research and which would lead to the harm effecitve（词性, harmful effects） for the human beings.

To sum up, although the morality and the ethicality is the neccessary condition for our democrary（democratic) society, we should separate the morality for the public and(separate from...) the morality for the public officials. To judge whether he or she is an effective leader, the crucial way is to compare the benefits from him or her to peolple to the immorality of him or her, and consider whether his or her immoral behavior has the bad effective(effect) to the country and people, and in the final(finally), the important point should be attention(paid attention) is that the requirement should be different for the different realms leaders( for the leaders of different reamls).

一定不要让ETS挑出这么多语法错误哟。。

加油！！！！

clarity_girlUID: 134917

万分感谢！
突然意识到把作文贴到这里来让大家评改一下对于提高是多么重要。
可是马上就要上考场了。沮丧ing！

难道我还要进行下次的考试么？实在不想啊！
可是我现在一想到考试就紧张，手发抖怎么办啊

咖啡沫沫UID: 127308

相信自己.考场上的发挥很重要.