【Daily Writing作文特训小组】my2013作业贴

my2013UID: 3215979

8.26考试，第一次写作文，提纲就列了很久，把握不是很准，感觉有点跑题，希望大家多提意见，顺便也传授一下写作技巧，多谢啦！:)

可能是级别不够，没法传附件，我就直接贴在这了，辛苦各位我给改作文的同学了！

0725作文题：11.4.30NA：it isimportant to know about what is happening around the world,even if it doesn't affect your personal lives.

Today, with the rapid development of communication technologies,like radio, TV and internet, we are in the time of the information explosion.We are getting confused by so many information. Should we knoweverything that is happening in the world or just care about that affect ourpersonal lives? Some people who are afraid of fallingbehind the times always think that it is important to know all things thatare happening around the world, even it does not affect their lives. However, Ithink there is no need to do that, as it will distract you from your life,affect your work efficiency and waste your time.

First, focusing on too many information that do not affect yourlivers will distract you from things you really care about.For example, when I do researches for my term paper through internet, I oftenwas attracted by the constantly alerting news windows which inform me what ishappening now around the world. Then I will be inundated with one by one news,and forgot what the purpose I surf the internet for.

In addition, keeping knowing about what is happening around the wordwill affect your work efficiency. One may concern the development of the eventwhen he or she is on work. For example, mycolleague Tom often can’t finish his job on time as he spend more time on whatis happening around the world, like the election of Italy, UEFA EuropeanFootball Championship and so on.

Although, knowing about news around world may makeour lives more fun, it is still a time consuming work. It is only 24 hoursa day. If we spend more time on the news that not affect our lives, then we mayhave no or little time to exercise, stay with our family and friends, evensleep.

In a nutshell, there is no need to know all thatare happening around the world, especially those do not affect our personallives, because it will affect our lives, lower our work efficiency and even betime consuming.

ys757UID: 3351330

my2013--0725作文题.doc (20.5 KB, 下载次数: 8)

2012-7-26 03:34:56 上传

下载次数: 8
以改过

  希望一起多多交流

mayijieUID: 3280191

:victory:

my2013UID: 3215979

0726作文题：11.8.20NA: the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.

The company is the most essential and important entity in the global economy of which the remarkable characteristics is its pursuing of the profit. It finds a business opportunity invests in it then gains profits out of it, but this is not always the case. In order to avoid suffering loss, a company should make a thoughtful plan and decide in which business it will invest. And most successful companies always think that their most important investment is to improve their employees’ skills. As far as I am concerned, I definitely agree with that because such investment may obtain profits, improve employees’ sense of belonging, and increase the company’s popularity.

First and foremost, human resources are the critical factor to the development of the company which will enhance the company’s competition ability and help company earning more money. Taking Apple Company as an example, Apple can’t compete with the IBM in the PC market in the early 21st century. However, with the leading of the brilliant CEO Jobs and the effort of its excellent employees, Apple Company invent the ipad which made the Apple became the most popular portable PC brand in the world in the first decade of the 21st century. Improving employees’ skill will also enable employees to work professionally and create more value in company’s business, consequently, the company will gain more profits.

In addition, investing in improving employee’s skill is a good company culture which will make an employee feel like he or she is respected by the company and is important to the company. Every one will feel very proud as one of employees of the company, and deem the company’s business as his or her own business. They will try their best endeavor to gain the company’s goal as well as gain their own goal eventually. However, when the company’s business declined, its employees will work together to improve it.

Finally, if a company invests lots in its employees’ skills improvement, it will attract more people to work for it. There is an old story in ancient China, one king cost a large amount of money to buy the bones of a fantastic horse in order to let people know that he was fond of the good horses and willing to pay lots of money for the horse even the horse’s bone, and eventually those people owned good horses continually presented their horse to the king as they know he will be kind to these horses. This is the same rule as a company invested in improving employees’ skills, it will make the company becoming more and more popular and a lot of people willing work for the company.

To sum up, as the human resources becoming the critical factor in the development of a company, I therefore, reinforce my standpoint to approve that the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its employees.

my2013UID: 3215979

0727作文题：11.9.16NA: 让你家孩子和你将来和你干一样的工作。


There is an old saying in China, "parents always hope their children become dragons".  In Chinese culture, the dragon is the symbol of success, wealth and power. In order to help their children make a successful career in the future, Chinese parents usually force their children to learn the major they themselves thought is promising, or to choose a job they thought will gain their children success, especially the job same as they are engaging in. However, if I have a child, I wish he or she will have a happy life, choose what he or she want to do, and I will never ask he or she to take the same job as I do now even I think my job will make my child achieve success easily.   

Nowadays, the society changes very rapidly. I think the society which our children will live in the future is definitely different from what we are living in now. A great number of new advanced technologies will emerge in our lives, and lots of outdated technologies also will fall into disuse. Correspondingly, some new type of jobs will be available and some job will disappear gradually. For example, when I was a child, bicycle was the major transportation in people's daily life, and designing bicycle was a popular job. Now, car becomes the convenient transportation in stead of bicycle, and few people want to work as bicycle designers. We also might not keep the pace with the development of society and know little about the new emerging industry which coincidently was our children interested in.      
I think my children, as young persons, should learn how to make decisions for themselves, and I will also encourage them to do so to cultivate their independent spirit. I will offer them advises and help them contrast advantages and disadvantages of a job, and nerve ask them take the same job as I do except that they are interesting in my job. Although my children will inherit my gene, it does not mean that my children and I shall engage in the same job. I am an accountant, what if my children prefer to be a singer, a doctor, an athlete, or even a chef. I will not deny their ideas and will encourage them to try every job they want to do then find their favorite job.      

To sum up, I will not ask my children to take the same job as I do, because I might fall behind the times and I also want my children to live a happen and simple lives, to engage in a job just as them love to do not my request.

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

my2013 发表于 2012-7-27 01:33
0726作文题：11.8.20NA: the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its em ...

sry，26号的作文我忘改了，现在马上改

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

my2013 发表于 2012-7-27 01:33
0726作文题：11.8.20NA: the most important investment of a company is to improve the skills of its em ...

quite good！
revised.doc (17 KB, 下载次数: 17)

2012-7-27 23:39:41 上传

下载次数: 17

my2013UID: 3215979

秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-7-27 23:33
sry，26号的作文我忘改了，现在马上改

不着急，辛苦版主了;P我现在想写提纲还行，论证太慢，版主多指点哈

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

my2013 发表于 2012-7-27 23:40
不着急，辛苦版主了我现在想写提纲还行，论证太慢，版主多指点哈

文章写得挺好，慢工出细活啊。
记住尽量think in english，提纲先列个几篇，然后尽量逼着自己打腹稿，熟练之后开始限时，加油！

igrowingUID: 3330387

7.27my2013-revised by igrowing.doc (29.5 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2012-7-28 00:56:47 上传

下载次数: 6

已修改，请参阅，多交流！

my2013UID: 3215979

igrowing 发表于 2012-7-28 00:56
已修改，请参阅，多交流！

辛苦了，那么晚还在帮我改作文。
论证我喜欢写三段，这次想不出来更好的论点，所以加了基因的论述，也有凑字数的想法:loveliness:思路没打开，写起来好费劲，我要努力学习秋雨版主说的打腹稿

my2013UID: 3215979

终于可以贴附件了;P

SYNCIAUID: 3130718

请过目！ 欢迎交流！ 7.29-my2013 Revised by Syncia.doc (35 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-7-30 23:08:37 上传

下载次数: 2

另外，我和楼主一天考托福啊！ 握手握手！

my2013UID: 3215979

SYNCIA 发表于 2012-7-30 23:08
请过目！ 欢迎交流！ 另外，我和楼主一天考托福啊！ 握手握手！

好啊，一起加油！:)
写这篇的时候自己感觉也不太好，看来是审题的问题。不过每次我看见作文题，总是头大，所以花的时间也长，看来积累也不够，有没有提高快的建议，先谢啦！