【GRE作文互助组】小狮子的作业帖---issue习作帖

lizlee0420UID: 3163467

楼主，木有看到你28号的作文哎 我的已经写好贴出来了

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

lizlee0420 发表于 2012-8-29 20:25
楼主，木有看到你28号的作文哎 我的已经写好贴出来了

不好意思，交晚了，写得奇烂无比，都不好意思上交了呐，最近是肿么了肿么了，还望狠拍！！！

lizlee0420UID: 3163467

8.28issue by shulammite.doc (15.5 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2012-8-31 12:09:44 上传

下载次数: 4

楼主我拍了，昨天有情况没传上，见谅！

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

由于时间有限，只是写了个大概。

colinxtUID: 2602561

xiesisiminerva 发表于 2012-9-1 23:12
由于时间有限，只是写了个大概。

个人觉得可以先写第二点正面的 ，然后转成两个负面的论点。另外第二个论点觉得不够充分，因为有提到反面观点，但没提到debate。

这里我对题目有点疑惑，毕竟题目说的是跟反面观点人的discussion，所以，个人觉得写debate会比写contrast idea更准确。这里貌似有点微妙，不知道我理解准确没有。

草莓CynthiaUID: 3128074

Issue 34 已改， 权限有限 我直接贴上来了
我觉得版主的思路很好， 但是文章逐渐顺序可以稍稍改动一下
先说
Admittedly, contrasting points of view can, in some condition, engender one to find the shortage and consequently make a progress. However, it also has many short comings.

First, sometimes severe criticisms will probably hamper ones potential in a certain area to some degree especially for the freshman.

Besides, the progress can only be made with a determined and embracing attitude.
What’s more, progress can come from many ways other than contrasting point of view such as the same opinion ,the praise of others especially from the senior in ones field, or by self examine.

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

issue，艰难进行中，欢迎拍！

草莓CynthiaUID: 3128074

楼主 9.3 我跟你是一组的~~~！ 你昨天的作业呢？

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

草莓Cynthia 发表于 2012-9-4 22:04
楼主 9.3 我跟你是一组的~~~！ 你昨天的作业呢？

昨天写的是argument，贴在argument那版里面。

parrotkingUID: 3323277

xiesisiminerva 发表于 2012-9-4 22:01
issue，艰难进行中，欢迎拍！

已经批阅好了 晚了点点~

parrotkingUID: 3323277

xiesisiminerva 发表于 2012-9-4 22:01
issue，艰难进行中，欢迎拍！

已经批阅好了 晚了点点~

parrotkingUID: 3323277

xiesisiminerva 发表于 2012-9-4 22:01
issue，艰难进行中，欢迎拍！

我没法添加附件！！？？》。。。。

parrotkingUID: 3323277

好吧  逼我直接贴了。。。
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The author claims that the expert is less likely to make important contributions than green-hand in any area of research. Given that many great break through were made by young scholars in basic subjects such as mathematics and physics, the assertion seems reasonable. However, it would be rather shallow statement that in any conditions the beginner is more likely to make a difference and judge one’s possibility in success according to it. (这一句读来读取老觉得and前后两句话不是并列的，前面是完整的一句，而and后面的没有主语，后半句加上we can’t之类的会比较好)
Admittedly, sometimes, the beginner exceeded the old one in achievement because of the special qualities they have. Generally speaking, young man are more likely to be acute in putting forward a question and more energetic in solving the problem they have been hunted. Another reason is that they are less bonded by problems like wives or children which will make them unable to be engrossed in a certain problems. For example, Einstein finished the theory of relativity which was the foundation of modern physics in the age of 26 and John Nash put forwards two theories which totally transform strategies the whole world use in economy in 1950 and 1951 when he was study in Princeton University in his 20s. On the contrary, the expert would likely to be affected by former experiences, in this way not able to make a bold attempt.
However, studies in some area such as health sciences and literature and arts needs（有些复数形式用的不恰当） groups or individuals’ long time effort to accumulate （少了一个宾语，积累什么？experiences？） in order to make a contribution in the end. For example, a doctor should deal with various diseases and continue to(continuously会更好，因为continue to do表示继续做另外一件事情的意思，这里需要是不停持续的意思) practice before he become（三单！！becomes） a good doctors……复数不要乱用喔. It is the same with area of arts and literature. Despite that a writer is gifted, he /she needs time to form his /her own writing style. Maybe one would like to use some grandiose words in the beginning but as the time goes by when he/she discovers truly himself, he/she will rely more on his/her sparkle thoughts rather than language which has been burnished well in his/her early period. Many masterpieces need writers’ life time accumulation and continuing practices to be accomplished. For example, Leonardo finishes his masterpiece Mona Lisa Smile in his twilight years after dig（digging） into many subjects range from mathematics to anatomy.
Many times, it is because of lacking experience and short in overall perspective of a subject, the beginner does futile works or makes faults that could probably be avoided. On the contrary, the expert is familiar with the area and accumulate more knowledge and benefit experience which could probably lead them to success.
Actually it is not proper to make a compare whether beginner or expert who can make important contribution. There are other factors that related to success more than it. Actually, both of the beginner and the expert can make great contribution if their idea are innovative , their efforts are effective and their spirits are positive.
                                                      
总体评价：采用了先正后反，然后再散着总结的形式，观点挺明确的，但就是觉得里面有些句子故意写得复杂了，有时句子复杂了还出现了一些语法问题。先这些了，第一次批阅别人的作文，自己也好久米有写作文了~~请多多zhijiao~

---by  parrotking

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

草莓Cynthia 发表于 2012-9-4 22:04
楼主 9.3 我跟你是一组的~~~！ 你昨天的作业呢？

不好意思，最近忙，明天帮你改

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

parrotking 发表于 2012-9-5 22:12
好吧  逼我直接贴了。。。
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or dis ...

谢谢你了，明天帮你改哈