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[优秀习作] issue1 请赐教!!献丑了!! [复制链接]

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发表于 2003-10-5 22:35:03 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue 1:"We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning."

People learn in different ways. Leaning each other play a role key in our study .No man can learn a great deal of real knowledge without communication and intercourse with others, especially, in contemporary society that usually be portray as dominated the experience of the incredible speed change of knowledge and technological innovation . But there is much controversy over the issue which more we can benefit from the people whose view contradict our own or not .The arguer seems to suggest that we can learn much more from the people whose view we share than from whom have the different and contrary opinion to us . As far as I am concerned, we can benefit more from contradictory views . I base my view on two reasons .First, contradicting views help us see the flaws of our own point of view, enabling us to improve our understanding . Second , contradicting view may with alternative perspectives to problems , which is key in a multicultural world .

Different people have different thought and background ,even two students with the same teacher also have their own structure of knowledge and  method of solving the same problems which is different from another . I t is hard to say which one’s idea is perfect , because no one can
grasp all fields of knowledge in the world and make  the absolutely correct idea and decision.  In this sense , the  contradictory view can help us find out the deficiency and shortage of our point of view which we didn’t perceive , so people can enforce their understanding and recognizing even think it repeatly to complement the deficiency of their idea and knowledge.

Further more , the contradictory view give us a opportunity to obtain anther different perspective and try a new approach .the broader the scope of thinking the better. For instance , at the most famous universities in the world, discussion for a problem is very popular in class , students inquest the teacher and even refute the teacher’s opinion frequently , this activities benefit not only to the progress of the students ‘ study but also to the deep discovery in their particular field ,in this course , teachers and students are both the benificiaries . By contrast , people who share our own view have nothing to contribute . the view which is consistent with ours completely make us ignore the potential flaws of our own view and decrease the motivation to change a  new perspective to problems .It is one of most serious obstacle on the road of improvement and development of our knowledge and intellect .
  
In  conclusion, learning from those who have different conception to us is very important in the course of our study , it make our mentality more plentiful and also make our intellect more explicit and rational .undoubtedly ,  people were benefited to increase their quantity and enhance  the quality of knowledge by this way more than learning those who have the same thought with us. To this I would add : learning from the contradictory view of others is wise  choice .
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发表于 2003-10-6 13:34:12 |只看该作者
People learn in different ways. Leaning (from)each other play(注意单复数plays) a role key (role key是什么意思?key role吧?)in our study .No man can learn a great deal of real knowledge without communication and intercourse with others, especially, in contemporary society that usually be portray(portrayed) as dominated(by) the experience of the incredible speed change of knowledge and technological innovation . But there is much controversy over the issue which(which指代不明) more we can benefit from the people whose view contradict our own or not .(这句话有些别扭,改一下。不一定非要用长句)The arguer(issue中用arguer的不多) seems to suggest that we can learn much more from the people whose view we share than from whom have the different and contrary opinion to us . As far as I am concerned, we can benefit more from contradictory views . I base my view on two reasons .First, contradicting views help us see the flaws of our own point of view, enabling us to improve our understanding . Second , contradicting view may with alternative perspectives to problems , which is key in a multicultural world .(建议不要在第一段中说分论点,后面还要提到的。显得罗索。)
第一段太长了,找了半天才找到你的论点,而且语言有重复啰嗦的地方。要记住你的主体在后面的论述段,开头只是引子。不要牵扯太多精力。有些句子再斟酌一下。

Different people have different thought and background ,even two students with the same teacher also (also用不着吧)have their own structure (复数structrues)of knowledge and method of solving the same problems which is (复数)different from another . I t is hard to say which one’s idea is perfect(改成more better好一些) , because no one can grasp all fields of knowledge in the world and make the absolutely correct idea and decision. In this sense , the contradictory view can help us find out the deficiency and shortage of our point of view which we didn’t perceive , so people can enforce their understanding and recognizing even think it repeatly to complement the deficiency of their idea and knowledge.
这一段写得不错

Further more , the contradictory view give us a opportunity to obtain anther different perspective and try a new approach .the broader the scope of thinking the better. For instance , at the most famous universities in the world, discussion for a problem is very popular in class , students inquest the teacher and even refute the teacher’s opinion frequently , this activities benefit not only to the progress of the students ‘ study but also to the deep discovery in their particular field ,in this course , teachers and students are both the benificiaries . By contrast , people who share our own view have nothing to contribute . (不要太绝对了)the view which is consistent with ours completely make us ignore the potential flaws of our own view and decrease the motivation to change a new perspective to problems .It is one of most serious obstacle on the road of improvement and development of our knowledge and intellect .
这一段有两个问题
1 那个例子好像不是很鲜明。似乎用在第一段也行
2 后半段我不敢苟同。有些主观了

  
  In conclusion, learning from those who have different conception to us is very important in the course of our study , (一句话中只能有一套主谓,后半句重新起一句或者加连词)it make (单三)our mentality more plentiful and also make(单三) our intellect more explicit and rational .undoubtedly , people were(没有必要用过去时) benefited to increase their quantity(their quantity是什么意思?) and enhance the quality of knowledge by this way more than learning those who have the same thought with us. To this I would add : learning from the contradictory view of others is (a)wise choice .

总的说写得不错。第一篇这样已经很好了。看得出你的英语基础很好,逻辑思路也不错。
注意开头一定要直截了当。就算你想多说两句,先亮明论点再加也不迟。

两段的逻辑还挺清晰,不过似乎有些重叠,再找一些鲜明的例子。
加油啊!照这样写下去该没什么问题
不过也不要高兴得太早。这个题目相对容易,很多难题是要费一番功夫的
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RE: issue1 请赐教!!献丑了!! [修改]

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issue1 请赐教!!献丑了!!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-141081-1-1.html
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