issue147

et1985UID: 136964

147.Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between. One must choose between them.
In the Milan fashion show--the most influencing exhibition of the fashionable dresses in the world--in 2001, the Italian giant Amarni exhibit a serious of dresses which turned out to be a great success for they embodied not only the newest thoughts of design nowadays, but also the traditional style that conjure people up the days of 1930s. As the fashion show is generally regarded as the leader of the fashion, the popular of these clothes reveal that, tradition and modernization are not always mutually exclusive, and, on contrary to this, coexist in modern society.
Tradition and modernization, as they are two distinct conception, undoubtedly have their own function in the modern time when everyone has plays his roles which cannot be replaced by others in a big stage-the society. Modernization is a trend. The prevalence of the internet and the information technology have impel the western world into the era of knowledge economics, and in the meanwhile the developing countries are on their way of urbanization and industrialization. Despite of their deferent aims, they share the same feature--modernization. And the traditions, the heritage that handed down from our ancestors, are always appears as the resources of inspirations and the brand-new ideas, and, in addition to this, guaranty the right direction of the progress of the society. For instance, the traditional views of freedom and democracy are the basis of contemporary political system: the denial of them will overthrow the fair societies that came into being through the hardworking and even the sacrifices of our forbears.
However, it is hasty to say that they are incompatible just from their different functions; they are interactional and interdependent. On the first hand, the modernization is based on the accumulation of the traditions. As the final aim of modernization is to enhance the quality of the human lives, some aspects that impose enormous impact on them should be involved in the consideration. The development of the culture is a good cases in point: while its true that Western experience in industrialization contributes a lot to that of China, in spite of this, it is necessary for Chinese to keep their precious traditions, such as customs, languages--which is crucial for the thriving of the nature in future. On the other hand, sticking to tradition is not equal with denying modernization. Tradition would be meaningless if isolated, and what is even worse is that it would lead to the degradation of the society. As it is well known that Babylon which is Known as Iraq presently used to be highly civilized country in the anciently; now it is another story: the people in Iraq are suffering from poverty and famine. Why? One significant reason is the leaders of Iraq want to regain its supreme in the Gulf and even Middle East on a whole. Unfortunately they shrug off the modernization, and then came the ten-year war with Iran and the invasion into Kuwait that result in the Gulf War. It is can be learned from this lesson that tradition and modernization are just as the two poles of a magnet that neither is possible without the existence of the other.
Moreover, the combinational use of them, although, at first glance, make things more complicated, will help the exertion of their potentiality in the highest measure. Good movies, for instance, not only requires the firs-class equipments, but also the comprehensively understanding of the local traditions, including the taste of the local spectator: a perfect film about chi chivalry that is popular in Europe may be a absolute failure in China, for scarcely any person know about this spirit just us the Europe cannot understand the counterpart in China.
In conclusion there's no either-or choice between the tradition and modernization. An intelligent nation will take both of them into consideration when confronted with puzzles or problems. Perhaps it is much easier to say than to practice, however, once achieved, it will contribute the nation profoundly.

imongUID: 140258

In the Milan fashion show--the most influencing (influential) exhibition of the fashionable(?) dresses in the world--in 2001, the Italian giant Amarni exhibit(第三人称单数？而且这个动词似乎表达有误） a serious of dresses which turned out to be a great success for they embodied not only the newest thoughts of design nowadays, but also the traditional style that conjure people up（conjure people up可以这么说吗？我不知道） the days of 1930s. As the fashion show is generally regarded as the leader of the fashion（leader不如用leading来修饰一个更具体的名词，而且这里用is不是一个好选择，由于generally是一个动态过程，所以最好的方式是用一个主动态的动词，例如gain，become之类的）, the popular (popularity) of these clothes reveal that, tradition and modernization are not always mutually exclusive, and, on contrary to this, coexist in modern society. 开头用了一个例子，非常抓人，好极了。词性错误仅仅在开头段就出现了2次，以及用词的一些小失误，说明你的语言表达一定要提高，并且要准确。

Tradition and modernization, as they are（错了，不能变成独立句子，用分词） two distinct conception, undoubtedly have their own function in the modern time when everyone has plays（has plays？） his roles which cannot be replaced by others in a big stage-the society. Modernization is a trend. The prevalence of the internet and the information technology have impel（过去分词？） the western world into the era of knowledge economics（知识经济？是这么说的吗？）, and in the（去掉in the） meanwhile the developing countries are on their way of urbanization and industrialization. Despite of their deferent（没有看懂，为什么用到deferent？） aims, they share the same feature--modernization. And the traditions, the heritage that （was，主动被动态！稍微读一下句子就会发现问题）handed down from our ancestors, are always appears（are appears？！！） as the resources of inspirations and the brand-new ideas, and, in addition to this, guaranty（guarantee？） the right direction of the progress of the society. For instance, the traditional views of freedom and democracy are the basis of contemporary political system: the denial of them will overthrow the fair societies that came into being through the hardworking and even the sacrifices of our forbears.  小错误和用词不准确太多，下次自己先好好检查检查再post上来！尤其是那些一个句子里边出现2个动词的，绝对不可饶恕！后边我只看看内容，不继续给你改文法了。

后边来说，我觉得你的内容还是比较丰富的。文章中，着重强调不是one must choose between them而是两个都是必需，不过我认为人家关于incompatible的论断你似乎没有特别响应。both must be conducted和compatible其实还是有一定差距的，如果你能在这个方向上深入发挥上去，把文章的层次感加强，那就很不错了。

最后还要强调，用词！文法！缺乏了语言的规范，再深刻的思想都难以表达！

imongUID: 140258

还有，下次在标题上按照规范格式写清楚题号，置顶的帖子反复强调过的。

et1985UID: 136964

非常感谢