【独立写作】yayayyya作业贴

yayayyyaUID: 3338116

8-26

yayayyyaUID: 3338116

829

lee大乐UID: 3360311

lz，谢谢了哈~~看到你改的作文，也膜拜了一下你的作文，确实不在一个水平啊·~望多多提点~谢谢~

heverywhereUID: 3063914

嗨，830的我们分到一组， 一直没有看到你的作文，如果贴上来了，麻烦去我的作业贴里回复一下地址哈~~提醒我帮你改

我的作业贴：
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... xtra=#pid1776169672

张君临001UID: 3368766

Today working is not merely means going to offices every day. Since the giant change that science and technology takes to, people confront the choice(dilemma) whether working at home or working in office. The former has formed a new trend and tens of home offices spring up, such as SOHO. However, according to my own experience, I think(regard) working at home is not as effective as working in office. Many problems has came since people do not go out for work that the less of social ability and ineffectiveness.

Initially, working at home may cause the result of less effective, especially to those people who cannot control themselves well. Office is not just provide a place for work, it also (not only,but also 改成倒装句，形成句式多变)create a working atmosphere for every employee. Take myself as an example, I tried to work at home once and since then I would not chose to work at home again. The day I remember（ed） very clear, when I finish(ed) reading the working list my manager emailed to me, I started my work as usual. However it did not last very long, just an hour after that, an interesting advertisement attracted me. I began to search the product online, at the same times(meanwhile), I talked to some of my friends who also have the same interest on the product. Not until the lunch time did I found that I had not finished a half of my planned. Working at home really make me can not to focus for a long time at my schedule, which it end up by lower my working effectiveness (efficiency)

Secondly, many social lives are destroyed by working at home, and it is quite common among some young worker. Working （office/working place）is an essential occasion that people making new friends and contacted with old one. If a person spends too much time at home, he may lose the passion and the ability to communicate with other people in a real life and what it brings to a person cannot be imagine. My friend John, since he started working at home last year, I (have)barely seen him at the place he used to be for a long time. Last time, I had a dinner with him, what surprising(surprised me) most is that he did not say a word for the whole time. I think working at home has a huge effect on him, and make him feel uncomfortable to have a conversation in a real life.

Thirdly, working in office always means working（cooperating） with a group of people, as result some creative thinking may come out to make the work better. A perfect idea may come from a very original one, when people working together, an unexpected word could stimulate other to think. This is a unique advantage of working in office.

To sum up, working at home is far worse than working in office. People working at offices have more creative thinking to ensure a high quality job, while working at home could be ineffective, and the worse thing is that it could destroy the social life of a person.（建议再背一些高级词汇，拓词这个软件还蛮好用的）
是新手，还没有上传权限，只好这样啦:loveliness:

张君临001UID: 3368766

Today working is not merely means going to offices every day. Since the giant change that science and technology takes to, people confront the choice(dilemma) whether working at home or working in office. The former has formed a new trend and tens of home offices spring up, such as SOHO. However, according to my own experience, I think(regard) working at home is not as effective as working in office. Many problems has came since people do not go out for work that the less of social ability and ineffectiveness.

Initially, working at home may cause the result of less effective, especially to those people who cannot control themselves well. Office is not just provide a place for work, it also (not only,but also 改成倒装句，形成句式多变)create a working atmosphere for every employee. Take myself as an example, I tried to work at home once and since then I would not chose to work at home again. The day I remember（ed） very clear, when I finish(ed) reading the working list my manager emailed to me, I started my work as usual. However it did not last very long, just an hour after that, an interesting advertisement attracted me. I began to search the product online, at the same times(meanwhile), I talked to some of my friends who also have the same interest on the product. Not until the lunch time did I found that I had not finished a half of my planned. Working at home really make me can not to focus for a long time at my schedule, which it end up by lower my working effectiveness (efficiency)

Secondly, many social lives are destroyed by working at home, and it is quite common among some young worker. Working （office/working place）is an essential occasion that people making new friends and contacted with old one. If a person spends too much time at home, he may lose the passion and the ability to communicate with other people in a real life and what it brings to a person cannot be imagine. My friend John, since he started working at home last year, I (have)barely seen him at the place he used to be for a long time. Last time, I had a dinner with him, what surprising(surprised me) most is that he did not say a word for the whole time. I think working at home has a huge effect on him, and make him feel uncomfortable to have a conversation in a real life.

Thirdly, working in office always means working（cooperating） with a group of people, as result some creative thinking may come out to make the work better. A perfect idea may come from a very original one, when people working together, an unexpected word could stimulate other to think. This is a unique advantage of working in office.

To sum up, working at home is far worse than working in office. People working at offices have more creative thinking to ensure a high quality job, while working at home could be ineffective, and the worse thing is that it could destroy the social life of a person.（建议再背一些高级词汇，拓词这个软件还蛮好用的）

还没有发附件的权限，所以不好走意思，只能这样了，刚才有发一次，被删了，再来一遍

张君临001UID: 3368766

我也有上传作文，TPO24，有空的话，能不能帮我修改下？

张君临001UID: 3368766

为什么我把修改完的贴上来总是被删，又不能附件是闹哪样

张君临001UID: 3368766

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1438515-1-1.html

heverywhereUID: 3063914

0831修改，请查收。语言上找不出改的地方了~~

0830 rev .doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2012-9-1 09:55:05 上传

下载次数: 2

alexcuiUID: 3365616

yayayyya 发表于 2012-8-30 19:48
829

亲，你31号作业呢？

yayayyyaUID: 3338116

8-31

alexcuiUID: 3365616

yayayyya 发表于 2012-9-2 07:24
8-31

831reviewed by alexcui.doc (35.5 KB, 下载次数: 1)

2012-9-2 14:53:15 上传

下载次数: 1

yayayyyaUID: 3338116

9-1

Chel_seaUID: 3359346

已改~