【独立写作】爱眠梦的咸鱼作业贴

feihong76UID: 3072089

楼主的1023作文是空文档....

hb5404UID: 3214626

你10.23的怎么交白卷啊= =

爱眠梦的咸鱼UID: 3312342

feihong76 发表于 2012-10-24 08:24
楼主的1023作文是空文档....

晕啊。建好了文档忘粘贴了=。=现在好了

爱眠梦的咸鱼UID: 3312342

hb5404 发表于 2012-10-24 19:18
你10.23的怎么交白卷啊= =

没注意到，囧啊。现在好了

feihong76UID: 3072089

1023  楼主写的挺好的

1023咸鱼 revised by feihong76.doc (31.5 KB, 下载次数: 10)

2012-10-24 20:32:41 上传

下载次数: 10

为梦想加油!

hb5404UID: 3214626

改好啦~也请你帮我改改吧~https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... xtra=#pid1776304361

hb5404UID: 3214626

改好两篇

feihong76UID: 3072089

1026  修改稿
1026咸鱼 revised by feihong76.doc (32.5 KB, 下载次数: 10)

2012-10-27 08:57:25 上传

下载次数: 10

为梦想加油!

alexcuiUID: 3365616

1026咸鱼-revised by alexcui.doc (33.5 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2012-10-27 21:08:01 上传

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mpromanusUID: 2565872

10.23：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The world is changing fast, people are less happy. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Are people less happy as the world is changing very fast? There has been an intense dispute over this controversial issue. In my perspective, I believe that people are at least as happy as before.

First of all, as the world has changed a lot and will continue to change in the future, people can always find new or different ways to satisfy themselves. I remember when I was a little kid, there was no cellphones, no computers, but I still can get a lot of fun with my friends. We always climb trees, catching insects, or do some other physical activities (Keep your verb structures consistent. There are actually 3 parallel sentences here, just the shared subject – 'we' – have been omitted. Do not get confused over the verb forms just because of that.). Nowadays, however, children have different ways to play, because woods are no more density ('density' is a noun, and you don't say 'I am no more happiness as before'. You say 'I am not as happy as before' or 'I am no happier than more', although the latter is on the archaic side.) as before. As the development of technology (Not a complete clause. It needs to be either 'as technology develops' or 'as the development of technology + verb'.), children can have fun even without walking out of their houses. They can play a variety of computer games themselves and also play online games with their friends. What’s more, many amusement parks, like Disneyland ('Disneyland' is one word, not two.), have been built for children and even more, for adults. It is obvious that people can satisfy themselves in many ways, much of which are different from those in the past. Hence, the fast changing world does not reduce people’s happiness.(Very good point, good example and good, complete reasoning.)

Secondly, people are even happier today than before. As the world’s changing fast, many new things have been brought into people’s lives, for example, cell phones, computers, subways, and so forth. Those new things make people’s lives much more convenient and comfortable. With cell phones, we can share our happiness immediately with our families and friends. For those working in a city far from their hometowns, they can communicate with their parents frequently. With a subway, people do not have to walk so long to get to their offices. And people can live healthier and longer as the development of medical technology (Again, not a complete clause. See a previous correction I did. This 'as' means 'because, along, at the same time as', and it heads a complete sentence. It's not the same as the 'as' meaning 'like, similar to', which takes a noun phrase, as in, 'I am [as] happy as a bird in summer'.), where in the past people always suffer from a lot of illnesses. So, as life is more comfortable than before, how can we say we are not happier?

Admittedly, there are some people who feel unhappy because of the high pressure of working, heavy loads on their shoulders, and so on. But I don’t think it is because of the fast changing world. There are also unhappy people fifty years ago. Positive people can always find ways to satisfy themselves no matter what the outer world is. Moreover, a recent research conducted by Peking University found that nearly 80% of people feel happier now than several years before and they believe that people will be happier in the future.

In a nutshell, it is obvious that the fast changing world doesn’t down people’s happiness. It actually improved people’s lives and therefore make people happier than before.

总结：

难得一见的很棒的论述，例子和推理的陈述都很清晰完整。语言上也很好，只是需要格外注意复合名词中的单复数：people's liVES, our homeS, 等等.