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[i习作temp] 大名鼎鼎的Issue7,求拍(付感想,中文提纲,写作思路) [复制链接] [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-9-22 19:18:39 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
题目:Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.


Whether governments are required to support the development of arts is not a easy question for all human-beings.As I see it, I prefer the latter assertion that governments shouldn't make extraordinary efforts in supporting arts.
思路:
第1段:大体上同意后者。
第2段:阐明前者为何不行,有的国家不可以因为
(1)非洲有疾病,贫穷.(2)阿富汗,伊拉克有战争(巴米扬大佛被炸)。(3)马尔代夫要被淹没。
    所以这些没有能力,没钱,首要任务不是art fonding。
第3-5段:分别从艺术家,政府,和解决方案角度写。
第3段:资助的标准和资助的钱很难制定明确的标准,艺术家会伪造文件,刻意选择艺术方向迎合这些标准,找政府要钱。而文物和古籍需要钱的就被erode。
第4段:政府有不同类型政府,集权独裁和威权。资助art会threaten。例子是前者伊拉克和利比亚,后者是瓷器国。
第5段:解决方法有民间组织(Ford foundation)。trade 市场手段。政府资助museum(这里又赞成了,不知道是不是把我的观点给弱化了?)。
第6段:总结
感想:之前看了大剑的文章,感觉他是一个点写的“深”,一段就差不多了,很有文采的样子。但是我写不出来呀,只能从“面”着手。不知道我这样好不好,能不能拿高分?再说下我写完之后发现的疑问。请看下:


Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people.
1.我觉得3个加粗的部分都可以写,但是我最后的all people没有写,因为我看第2段够长了。但是我想少举个例子然后把这个加上会不会更好呢?
2.文章里有,ten years和2011,是不是全都用阿拉伯数字好?
3.文章里有很多被动语态的句子,我也不想啊!!!写着写着就成这样了。
4.希望大家看看我的“词性”使用,我这个可真是把握不好。
小弟我先行谢过!!!
=======================求知的分割线是也=========================


There are two opinions presented relate to government's standpoints and policies to arts' prosperous among people and integrity. As for the ambivalent, I am largely content the later assertion that government should limit fonding, or the integrity of art may be threaten.




The former assertion seems reasonable that government should fonding arts for its booming and all people can savor it. Perhaps this claim are indeed accord with the countries with better welfare, government own abundents money and do not face exigencies, such as terrorist attact, natural disaster. However, in terms with a large scale and comprehensive perspective, there are still many countries incompetent to fond arts ,because these nations are besieged hungry problem, suffing lack of medicine, have to loan money from The World Bank, or even leave their homeland bacause the inevitable nature factors. for example, poverty, desease and hungry have become a vicious circle for decades of years, even with the help of international organizations, let along the local government fond arts.During the war happenned in Afghanistan and Iraq last ten years,the antiquities sufferred badly demaged and the stolen antiquities trade are still increased according to the FBI, The Taliban destroy the Buddhas of Bamiyan which has 1500 years histroy astonish all over the world. Maldives are perhaps submerge in 50 years thought money are enought to bolster arts. Obviously, poverty, deseases and war must be priorior handle before government fondging arts.




On the other hand, clearly standards and provisions are difficult enacted to determine what kind arts should be fonded and how much money be devoted. So many dishonest arts may forge documents to apply money and intentionly choose the art develop direction to cater these equivocal provisions, all of these are inevitable threaten the interity of the arts. But for the art such as ancient statue and literary canonization which include the human culture elite and nobility spirit can be protected and devolopment. Thus, the arts' essential function that convey the human history and probe the world's art, truth, becauty will be eroded.

Futhermore,in the perspective of different political regime, the kinds of art should be heavily fonded are also veriety. Totalitarian governments consist all the leaders coming from one family or party, most the countries' money may be concentrate to build the their glorious image and lanch blindly admire, such as the Saddam family in Iraq and Gaddafi family in Libya. Similiarly, Authoritarian government like China will fond the writer and composer who lost their disinterest and civism to create art only elogize the ruling parties' history, So fonded arts will not show the just of the human's true feeling.


Futher discussion, if arts can really flourish and appreciated by most people, the arts itselt must commensurate with the society need and concern. In 2011, Ford foundation annonced that it will denote 100 million dallars to sorts of American art institutions in the next ten years. Another, art trade are also an important channel for arts booming and accessed to the interested people. Government can allowance art museum make the price can be afforded more people.

To sum up, the government should not direct fond arts, not only because it may inefficient for the arts justice and truth, but also involved dishonest artist and monarchy government the arts integrity can be deteriorated. Society organization and market function can play important role in art prosperous and available to most prople.
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寄托兑换店纪念章 梦舞槿樱 US-applicant 美版守护者 Golden Apple

沙发
发表于 2012-9-23 11:31:08 |只看该作者
兄弟组建作文互改小组吧。。。。

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板凳
发表于 2012-9-27 17:09:19 |只看该作者
我觉得巴米扬大佛的例子在这里偏了。因为题目实际讨论的是“政府对艺术的资助”会对艺术有什么样的影响,而不是“政府或政权”对艺术会有什么影响。巴米扬大佛虽然是被政府毁掉的,但是跟政府的资助无关啊,LZ觉得呢?
整理一下这个题目的推理逻辑应该是:政府资助艺术→(可以推出)资助会对艺术产生影响→这个影响是正面的,会促进艺术繁荣/这个影响是负面的,会损害艺术独立性。
所以要写这个题目,最切题的就是从这两个推理环节入手,要么论述政府的资助行为对艺术没有影响或影响很小,要么论述这个资助行为影响的正面性或负面性。不管采取什么立场,都是该从这两个环节切入。至于政府有没有余力去资助艺术,这不在这个题目的讨论范围之内。
LZ的提纲,3-5段的观点本身都是没有问题的,需要的是更精心组织表达吧。

另外,对于极权政府例子的叙述,在这篇文章里也觉得说服力不是很强。还是上面提到的那个问题,这段更像是在写极权政府对艺术的危害,写到极权政府利用艺术粉饰太平什么的,这里的艺术丧失独立性是政府本身带来的,而不是“政府对艺术的资助”造成的。
最好能找到这样的例子:政府对艺术的资助危害了艺术,如果政府没有资助艺术,那一切都会不一样。反之亦可。
如果一定要写极权政府,感觉这样组织例子的话说服力会更强些:比如,有些艺术家依附于政府,靠政府的资金过活,他的艺术成了政治的附庸品,在后人看来几乎没有任何伟大的价值;而现在我们看来艺术成就最高的,都是那些从来不依靠政府的艺术家。像是六朝和初唐的宫廷诗人与陶渊明相对比之类。
个人想法,供LZ参考~

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地板
发表于 2012-10-4 14:35:05 |只看该作者
不要试图从面着手,你没理解判分标准。去读OG吧。
个人建议每段要充分展开。可以考虑把类似段合并到一个更大的主题下作为并列论据。如何选定主题句很重要,不要太大也不要太小。
第一段,上来需要摆出你的观点,别扯什么The former assertion。第一句话可以是government should consider the needs of its people and prioritize resources accordingly.然后谈关于subsistence的问题。愿意扯需求层次也可以。

On the other hand。。。这段主题句在哪里?影响integrity吗?是还是否。

Futher discussion。。。你可以写,government support is not utterly necessary and artists can seek financial support from the private sector.

我觉得你的中心句可以是:government may not necessarily support arts and doing so impairs the integrity of arts.
1. gov不一定需要:
a other needs
b. private sector
2. affects integrity.

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RE: 大名鼎鼎的Issue7,求拍(付感想,中文提纲,写作思路) [复制链接] [修改]
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