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[作文] 【独立写作】taniax 作业贴 [复制链接]

taniax
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发表于 2012-10-6 15:04:16 |显示全部楼层

大家好，我是新来哒~~今天开始准备托福考试~~

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• 【听力小组】taniax作业贴

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taniax
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发表于 2012-10-7 17:29:26 |显示全部楼层

本帖最后由 taniax 于 2012-10-7 17:41 编辑

10.6作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person's job has more effects on his or her happiness than this person's social life does. Use specific reasons to support your answer. （Happiness)

11:00am
You watch TV and a commercial shows you that a successful man should own a luxurious car so you tell yourself that you should work harder so as to earn much more money to gain your success and happiness. You learn from a training course that work makes you happy and fulfilled. However the true happiness lies in your social life where you enjoy friendship, closeness and love from people.

I admit that one's job has some effects on his or her happiness. After accomplishing a difficult task, we feel ourselves strong and useful. After an increase of salary, we get more powerful. But is it what happiness really means? My answer is no.

Human beings are emotional creatures. We need friends to share our life and face the difficulties together. Everybody suffers sometime of frustration from work or from daily life. When we find all the doors are closed, a friend around us is always there to open a window for us. My best friend is one example. Every time when I get so angry and lose the control of myself, he possess the magic power to calm me down and help me out of my problem in time.

Human beings are emotional creatures. Closeness with other people warms our heart and gets us out of the loneliness. Can you imagine a life without a people around you where you just work in front of a computer? Will you be happy even though you receive a email who congratulates your achievements in work? The answer is obvious.

Human beings are emotional creatures. Love is all we want to prove that we are alive. What is the difference between a human being and a rock? We need love, not only the love received from others but also the love that we give out to the world. That's what makes us feel happy. As a poet once said, we are here on earth to help others.

We are human being, that's the reason why our happiness comes from the social life who makes friendship, sense of closeness and love available.
11:28

双非DIY美硕申请总结

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发表于 2012-10-7 20:27:07 |显示全部楼层

加油哦～

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taniax
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发表于 2012-10-7 21:50:40 |显示全部楼层

本帖最后由 taniax 于 2012-10-18 01:25 编辑

10.17：which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends. A. Joining a sports team b. Participating in community activities. C. Traveling. (Friendship)

10.17_taniax.doc (31.5 KB, 下载次数: 66)

10.16作文：which of the following three factors contributes to an enjoyable vacation most? A good food. B.good location. C good friends with you. (Life)

10.16_taniax.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 44)

10.11作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose friends that can have fun with you than to choose friends that will help you when you need them. （Friendship)

10.11_taniax.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 25)

10.10作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Patience is usually not a good strategy. People should take action now rather than later. (Life Attitude)
额。。。又不会写了。。。

10.10_copy by taniax.doc (36 KB, 下载次数: 17)

10.9作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? : The most important problems affecting our society today could be solved within our lifetime. （Society)

10.9_taniax.doc (31.5 KB, 下载次数: 21)
社会话题最不会写了。。。T T

10.8作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? people now are easier to become educated than in the past. (Education)

10.8_taniax.doc (30 KB, 下载次数: 25)

10.7作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:the benefits that students can get from student organizations or club activities are as many as that they can get from their academic studies.(Education)

10.7_taniax.doc (24 KB, 下载次数: 49)

10.6作文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person's job has more effects on his or her happiness than this person's social life does. Use specific reasons to support your answer. （Happiness)

10.6_taniax.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 11)

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发表于 2012-10-8 09:17:24 |显示全部楼层

10月07日_taniax.doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 56)
已经修改

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taniax
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发表于 2012-10-8 15:56:11 |显示全部楼层

Noah_Mo 发表于 2012-10-8 09:17
已经修改

第一次有人帮我改文章啊，谢谢~~~ 语法问题神马的真是很头痛啊。。感谢指正！

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发表于 2012-10-8 16:13:58 |显示全部楼层

10.7_taniax revised by ZOEX.doc (28.5 KB, 下载次数: 27)
唔~多交流~一起加油吧~

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发表于 2012-10-8 17:01:23 |显示全部楼层

taniax 发表于 2012-10-7 21:50
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:the benefits that students can get from studen ...

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: the benefits that students can get from student organizations or club activities are as many as that they can get from their academic studies.

When students finally get their permission (A 'permission' is the act of allowing something to be done according to laws/regulations/authorities. The crucial point here is that this implies that this something was normally or originally prohibited. So, 1stly, you don't get permission to things, but permission to do things; 2ndly, going to university is not usually something that needs to be 'permitted', since there's usually no law/regulation that prevents people from going to university, unless, you meant to express that your father had once explicitly disallowed you to go to university but now 'permits' you to do it. With all that said, my actual point is: I think you meant 'admissions' here. ) to universities, the first question that comes to them is usually how to allot their valuable time in daily life. Experienced seniors will just share the golden rule of university: out of The three most important things in life: sleeping, high GPA and social life, you can only choose two of them. The different decisions we made (You've been writing in the present tense. Why suddenly change to the past?) will significantly shape the next four (Not all universities do four years. Most courses in England, for example, are three years.) years. In my opinion, the benefits students obtain from social life ('social life' is much larger than just 'student organizations or club activities'. Eating out with friends is part of social life, but you don't need to join a student club to eat out with friends. So, you're not exactly to the point that the question wants.) and academic studies vary from person to person which (I'm not sure what this 'which' refers to. If you put it right after 'person to person', then it means 'person', but that doesn't make sense with the rest of the sentence. So, I think your 'which' means 'benefits', and in this case you don't really need a 'which'. A simple '<comma>and' would suffice.) depends on what kind of future is expected.

For the students who want to step into the field of business which demands a high communication and interaction skills, they should take advantages of spending more time in a student organization or club activities out of class. Building a sense of how people are organized together to achieve a goal improves their capacity in the competitive future. I have witnessed the transform of my several friends in university from some shy, young boys and girls to mature and prudent men and women. They say that they have grown up with their organizations.(Good point. But I love to challenge people to think deeper so here it is: many university courses include group projects – at least, group projects are common in European and American universities – so you could get your fair share of communication and interaction and common goal in your academic studies. Why would not that benefit the future business people as much as student clubs?)

As for the students curious about the nature (Why particularly 'nature'? That's not the only thing you can study in university..), attending in classes and improving their performance of academic studies show an essential importance in their life. Especially when they intend to get enrolled in a master's program, professors are often more impressed by the students who have solid background about the subject and who possess a profound understanding of the domain. I began my research work from my second year of study in university, with the help of my tutor, I have the honor to publish one paper as the first writer in an academic magazine (That's called a 'journal'.) which has benefited my application to a master program after graduation. (Good point. But I love to challenge people to think deeper so again: if you're making the comparison using master's admission as then only criterion, why then must you think that academic achievements benefit you more than student club activities, since many people successfully got into masters without publishing anything? The point here is that the question is essentially a comparison – you've converted it into a either-side-is-fine topic, but that doesn't mean you can get away with no comparison at all. Speaking in mathematical terms, you've only changed to question from 'prove A = B all the time' to 'prove that in some scenarios A > B, some other scenarios A < B, and some other scenarios A=B'. In your essay, however, there're only sentences like 'importance of A is very large in this case' and 'B is very important in this case'. That's not a comparison, only a declaration, so it's easy to counter. You need sentences like 'A definitely > B in this case'. - Does this all make sense? :))

Finally, although the above examples show the grand difference in options that different students should make, we shouldn't completely deny the benefits brought by the two choices. it is the student himself/herself who should decide.

总结：

词汇语法神马的很好，但是论述上又是把比较题写成了描述题。。问题是问你两个东西的好处是否一样多，你当然可以选择说这个要具体情况具体分析，但是这不等于这个问题就变成非比较题了。。就像我最后说的，你只是把‘证明在所有的情况下两种活动的好处都一样多’变成了‘证明在某些情况下社团的好处比读书多，某些情况下读书的好处比社团多，所以不能说他们一定一样多要看情况’，但是你写出来的文章是‘在某些情况下社团的好处很多，在某些情况下读书的好处很多’，这句话虽然看着就比前面少个‘比’字，但这就是比较和非比较的本质区别。。一般地来说，托福的要求没有这么严格，你意思差不多到了他们也就过去了，但是作为严肃的学术议论要求来说，因为你没有比较，所以我只要像文内问你的问题那样，把比较点出来，一说‘但是你想想对方也可以有这些好处。。’，很容易就把你驳掉了。这就是为什么我一直强调比较题要点出比较。

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