【独立作文贴】某人的限时写作

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Which do you think is better? To read what you like to read, or to read teacher's assignments only and why?

We are living in an age that competitions among folks are so fierce that more comprehensive and specific knowledge are demanded for students to obtain (If you turn this sentence back into the active voice, you should see where it went wrong: '[subject] demands for students to obtain … knowledge'. You don't say that. You only say '[subject] demands knowledge' or '[subject] demands students to obtain knowledge'. And you can't form a passive 'knowledge be demanded' for the latter sentence, because 'knowledge' is not the object of 'demand', but of 'obtain'.). So I confirm that instead of merely reading what is belongs to teachers' assignments, we ought to select other interesting and meaningful materials to expand our outlook and strengthen abilities.(But the question didn't ask you to compare 'what belongs to teachers' assignments' with 'other interesting and meaningful materials'. The question asks you to compare between 'what you like to read' and 'teacher's assignments only'. 'What you like to read' is not necessarily 'interesting and meaningful'. Think about it.)

The first thing is that reading teachers' assignments is absolutely not enough for us to obtain comprehensive knowledge, especially for us college students, what is contained in the teachers' assignments can merely provide us with the basic information (The latter half of this is a complete sentence on its own, and it should be punctuated as so.). We ought to choose further materials, in a gesture to acquire a good knowledge of that very subject. For example, as as Accounting major, apart from those books used in the class and assignments from our teachers, I have also read other relevant materials." Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game" is one of the most interesting ones. Written by Michael Lewis, the main content of the book is about sabermetrics applied in the baseball game, which succeeds in evaluating players. After reading that book, what impressed me the most was the magic of numbers and analysis. And I have determined to spare no efforts to do something pragmatic and great like what Michael Lewis has done. (Again, this example doesn't clearly come under 'what you like to read', so although your discussion here is good, it's only partially relevant. If you meant to discuss the question in two steps, one against 'read assignments only' and one for 'read what you like', you have to be clear about this in the introduction paragraph. And don't forget that you need to address the ultimate question about 'which one is BETTER'. You can't just stop at describing the merits of something and hope that people will interpret that as the equivalent of 'better'. You as the author has to vocalize that point.)

Additionally, reading what you like can have positive influences on you to persist in/on finishing the book you have chosen. You cannot deny that teachers' recommendations sometimes are so aged and elusive that we are unable to understand or fail (This 'or' means 'fail' goes  into the smaller verbal phrase 'to understand or fail', so the entire verbal phrase is actually 'are unable to understand or unable to fail', which is not what you want to say. What you're trying to say is 'are unable to understand,or fail to..') to stick at reading them. And it is a common sense that some of us even do not give a glimpse of those assignments. On the contrary, when it comes your turns (It's either 'when it is your turn', or 'when your turn comes', or rather tenuously, 'when comes your turn' in a 倒装. Some lyrics might say 'when it comes your turn', but know that lyrics do not count as proper language.) to choose a book to read , to learn, to obtain knowledge, there is no one can force you (Again, it's either 'there is no one TO force you to do..' or 'no one can force you to do…'. Not two constructs thrown into one.) to do what you do not like , under such circumstances, you can gain the access to read what interests you and chances are may you may ('may you'+do is an imperative, and you can't embed it in 'chances are (that)…') find that you are born with some gifts in the specific area.(Everything from 'under such circumstances' is another sentence, so you can't run a comma before it. It has to be punctuated with a preceding full stop.)

In a nutshell, although it is of great significance to listen to teachers, yet considering that interest is the best teacher to motivate students to learn more actively, so I confirm that it is time for us students (You often hear 'we people', 'we Americans' because these phrases are in the subject position, not because they are fixed expressions. When the phrase is in the object position – in this case, object of the preposition 'for' – the pronoun needs to change accordingly.) to make the most of the resources like the library and the internet to read more beneficial books.

总结：

语法词汇很不错，但对带形式主语和带动词不定式to do这类比较复杂的句子把握不是很好。论述上举例子和说明也都很好，但是稍微有点点偏题，开头结尾都是在interest and benefit上，没有着重what you like，也没有明确地带出better的比较。。T的作文不像G，不要求你多么全面客观，直截了当回答题目提出的问题更重要。。