issue95,望各位不吝赐教，谢谢

leeooUID: 141772

"People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork
requires cooperation, which motivate people much more than individual
competition does."

    The speaker asserts that cooperation , viewed as a indispensable element required in teamwork, can serve a useful purpose to stimulate people much more than individual competition , and as  a result, working in teams could lead to a higher productivity than working individually. I tend to agree this claim, for the reasons that have something to do with the increasingly complex and competitive world and the key truth of cooperation itself.

    The threshold reason I am in favor of the tendency of cooperation is that we humankind , nowadays, are faced with a voluminous amount of difficulties that are much more complex and pressing than ever before. These difficulties, due to their such qualities as complexity and emergence ,  have to be resolved in proper and immediate ways .But, it seems to be impossible to reach the purpose by one single person, or sometimes by one single community. One example can aptly illustrate the point is the AIDS, a disease that have threaten people’ life for a long time, yet until now, not a thorough efficient medical method have been invented for cure. We all know that this really needs the cooperation of worldwide countries by gathering the experience as well as wisdom of all researchers. Therefore, we have to resort the cooperation to get a better and faster way to resolve some difficulties we all meet.

Further more, beside the together strength resulting from cooperation mentioned above, cooperation can also add us the spiritual power -confidence, courage ,which can never gained by individual competition .One need look no further than the SARS , which broke out just a few month ago in a great many countries. SARS is a dreadful disease that   broke the normal pace of our life ,   threaten the public safety and health   , and  therefore led to vast direct or indirect economic lost. However, we finally obtained the victory in this battle during which each of us should be thankful to the  cooperation in a hospital, in a city, in a country and even all over the world. It is for this wide range of cooperation that we get the confidence ,courage and power to beat off the common enemy. Thus, some spiritual power gained in cooperation could contribute to the final success in our daily work.

    Admittedly, we should not ignore the advantage associated with the individual competition , especially in this era —— independence and diverse personality are highly respected. People easily hold the opinion that only through   competition among individuals can the potential of each person  be aroused. However, in my view, this process could also functioned in a teamwork on condition that people in the team  communicate with each in a proper way. A good understanding  and an modest attitude could get the team member more likely to discover other's prominent views, ideas, or methods as well as their own flaws, and finally result in a excellent atmosphere for both the development of individual and the whole team .Therefore, we could absorb more from the team than our single world.
  
    In the final analysis, compared with individual competition only, cooperation in a team could not only benefit the individuals themselves but bring about more advantages useful to the whole team, including the community, the whole nation or even the whole world. Especially, in this era full of high complexity and competitiveness, cooperation should be laid more stress .

还有10天就要考试了，不知道这样的水平能考出个几分来，sigh~~~,很着急啊

lemonlikeUID: 139588

要是限时完成的，很不错啊~~

lemonlikeUID: 139588

The speaker asserts that cooperation, viewed as a(an) indispensable element required in teamwork, can serve (as) a useful purpose to stimulate people much more than individual competition , and as a result, working in teams could lead to a higher productivity than working individually. I tend to agree (with) this claim, for the reasons that have something to do with the increasingly complex and competitive world and the key truth of cooperation itself.

The threshold reason I am in favor of the tendency of cooperation is that we humankind, nowadays, are faced with(facing) a voluminous amount of difficulties that are much more complex and pressing than ever before. These difficulties, due to their such qualities as complexity and emergence,(这个分句感觉有些重复) have to be resolved in proper and immediate ways. But, it seems to be impossible to reach the purpose by one single person, or sometimes by one single community. One example can aptly illustrate the point is the AIDS, a disease that have threaten people’ life for a long time, yet until now, not a thorough efficient medical method have been invented for cure(cure what?). We all know that this really needs the cooperation of worldwide countries by gathering the experience as well as wisdom of all researchers. Therefore, we have to resort the cooperation to get a better and faster way to resolve some difficulties we all meet.
呵呵，看了两段，一会回来接着看

leeooUID: 141772

大约写了1个小时的样子，谢谢lemon拍转，很想知道我的作文的主要问题在哪里，有什么重大缺陷？

lemonlikeUID: 139588

The speaker asserts that cooperation, viewed as a(an) indispensable element required in teamwork, can serve (as) a useful purpose to stimulate people much more than individual competition , and as a result, working in teams could lead to a higher productivity than working individually. I tend to agree (with) this claim, for the reasons that have something to do with the increasingly complex and competitive world and the key truth of cooperation itself.

The threshold reason I am in favor of the tendency of cooperation is that we humankind, nowadays, are faced with(facing) a voluminous amount of difficulties that are much more complex and pressing than ever before. These difficulties, due to their such qualities as complexity and emergence,(这个分句感觉有些重复) have to be resolved in proper and immediate ways. But, it seems to be impossible to reach the purpose by one single person, or sometimes by one single community. One example can aptly illustrate the point is the AIDS, a disease that have threaten people’ life for a long time, yet until now, not a thorough efficient medical method have been invented for cure(cure what?). We all know that this really needs the cooperation of worldwide countries by gathering the experience as well as wisdom of all researchers. Therefore, we have to resort the cooperation to get a better and faster way to resolve some difficulties we all meet.

Further more, beside the together(together是adv.) strength resulting from cooperation mentioned above, cooperation can also add us the spiritual power -confidence, courage ,which can never gained by individual competition. One need(needs) look no further than the SARS, which broke out just a few month(months) ago in a great many countries. SARS is a dreadful disease that broke the normal pace of our life(lives), threaten(threatened) the public safety and health , and therefore led to vast direct or indirect economic lost(therefore directly or indirectly led to vast economic lost这样是否好些?). However, we finally obtained the victory in this battle during which each of us should be thankful to the cooperation in a hospital, in a city, in a country and even all over the world. It is for this wide range of cooperation that we get the confidence, courage and power to beat off the common enemy. Thus, some spiritual power gained in cooperation could contribute to the final success in our daily work.

Admittedly, we should not ignore the advantage associated with the individual competition, especially in this era —— independence and diverse personality are highly respected. People easily hold the opinion that only through competition among individuals can the potential of each person be aroused. However, in my view, this process could also (be) functioned (function用在此处似乎不太合适)in a teamwork on condition that people in the team communicate with each in a proper way. A good understanding and an modest attitude could get the team member more likely to discover other's prominent views, ideas, or methods as well as their own flaws, and finally result in a excellent atmosphere for both the development of individual and the whole team .Therefore, we could absorb more from the team than our single world.

In the final(final?) analysis, compared with individual competition only, cooperation in a team could not only benefit the individuals themselves but bring about more advantages useful to the whole team, including the community, the whole nation or even the whole world. Especially, in this era full of high complexity and competitiveness, cooperation should be laid more stress.

呵呵，不是拍砖，就是一点小小的意见，改的不好，见谅：）

genie05UID: 30358

"People work more productively in teams than individually. Teamwork
requires cooperation, which motivate people much more than individual competition does."

The speaker asserts that cooperation, viewed as a
[B]（an） [/B]  indispensable element required in teamwork, can serve[B](加上AS，或者什么，你这句话是要表达什么意思啊？不通。) [/B]  a useful purpose to stimulate people much more than individual competition , and as a result, working in teams could lead to a higher productivity than working individually. I tend to agree this claim, for the reasons that have something to do with the increasingly complex and competitive world and the key truth of cooperation itself. [B]（语法）
一个文章不管开头写得如何，不管文笔，观点或别的任何东西如何，最重要的是不能有太多的错误或者说表达不清。还有建议看看FEIER和木耳（记得好象木耳也有写过）写的关于开头的帖子，精华区里应该有。考虑一下写法。[/B]
The threshold reason I am in favor of the tendency of cooperation[B]（这里的THE TENDENCY OF COOPERATION是想表达什么意思？直接用COOPERATION不可以吗？）[/B]  is that we humankind , nowadays, are faced with（语法） a voluminous amount of difficulties that are much more complex and pressing than ever before. These difficulties, due to their such qualities as complexity and emergence , have to be resolved in proper and immediate ways[B]（难道以前的问题不需要用PROPER的方法来解决吗？）[/B]  .But, it seems to be impossible to reach the purpose by one single person, or sometimes by one single community. One example can aptly illustrate the point is the AIDS, a disease that have threaten[B]（语法，BEENING THREANING）[/B]  people’ life for a long time, yet until now, not a thorough efficient medical method have been invented for cure. We all know that [B]（人们都知道的不一定是正确的，你这个例子不能够很好的支持你的论点，没有人知道是不是有一天这个治疗方法可以由一个人研究出来。）[/B] this really needs the cooperation of worldwide countries by gathering the experience as well as wisdom of all researchers. Therefore, we have to resort the cooperation to get a better and faster way to resolve some difficulties we all meet[B].（关与WE的使用问题，你可以看一下lemonlike的文章里的一些批注）[/B]
Further more, beside the together[B]（TOGETHER不能这个样子使用） [/B]  strength resulting from cooperation mentioned above, cooperation can also add us the spiritual power[B]（语法）[/B]  -confidence, courage [B],（etc.或者and the like，你是不可能列举完的，要准确）[/B] which can never gained by individual competition .One need look no further than the SARS , which broke out just a few month ago in a great many countries. SARS is a dreadful disease that broke the normal pace of our life , threaten the public safety and health , and therefore led to vast[B]（不合适，换词）[/B]  direct or indirect economic lost. However, we finally obtained the victory in this battle during which each of us should be thankful to the cooperation in a hospital, in a city, in a country and even all over the world. It is for[B]（去掉FOR） [/B]  this wide range of cooperation that we get the confidence , courage and power to beat off the common enemy. Thus, some spiritual power gained in cooperation could contribute to the final success in our daily work[B].（你是学医的吗？呵呵，好奇！两段的例子都是疾病有关的，当然不是说这样不好，可是你有考虑过如果说你在阅读文章的时候是比较喜欢作者旁征博引体现他的知识面宽还是怎样呢？）[/B]
Admittedly, we should not ignore the advantage associated with the individual competition , especially in this era —— independence and diverse personality are highly respected[B].（语法） [/B]  People easily[B]（？）[/B]  hold the opinion that only through competition among individuals can the potential of each person be aroused. However, in my view, this process could also functioned in a teamwork on condition that people in the team communicate with each in a proper way. A good understanding and an[B]（语法）[/B]  modest attitude could get the team member more likely to discover other's prominent views, ideas, or methods as well as their own flaws, and finally result in a excellent atmosphere for both the development of individual and the whole team .Therefore, we could absorb more from the team than our single world[B].（似乎有偏题的倾向）[/B]

In the final analysis, compared with individual competition only, cooperation in a team could not only benefit the individuals themselves but bring about more advantages useful to the whole team, including the community, the whole nation or even the whole world. Especially, in this era full of high complexity and competitiveness, cooperation should be laid more stress [B].（如何理解这个MORE STRESS？？）

语法绝对是一个大问题，很多词语的使用也不是很合适，使得文章的阅读让人感觉不舒服。希望自己先修改了以后在放上来，很多语法问题都是十分明显的。[/B]

leeooUID: 141772

非常感激genie的批改
汗~~~~~， 这么多的错误，好受打击的说
只剩9天就考，死惨了

genie05UID: 30358

9天够了。
静下心来，重要的心境。
江苏的英语都很牛哦。：）