Issue41 恳请指教

ciciwonderfulUID: 146466

"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry of astrology , fortune-telling , and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science ."


The development of our society is more and more fast , the science and technology keeps changing every day . And we are so proud of all these achievements . The mainstream science , however , have not succeeded taken up every areas of our material world , as well as our psychic worlds . That is to say , there are still so many mysterious things or puzzled phenomena existed but we cannot explain  clear through the exerting of mainstream science  , or even we have no idea at all ,where is just the realm dominated by nonmainstream areas such as astrology , fortune-telling , psychic and paranormal pursuit . Maybe we are so reluctant to accept this fact , but it do exist  among us .

The phenomenon is understandable that nonmainstream areas of inquiry , sometimes we used to call which "superstition"  or "pseudoscience" , still prevail today in certain areas  . Firstly , in most of the case , the explanation of superstition is surely far more easy and direct than the explanation maid by real science . A case in point is the happening of lunar eclipse , a scientific explanation must concerned the  relative position of the moon ,the earth and the sun in universal space , however ,  a nonmainstream-areas-of -inquiried one may be just simply that a superdog
in the sky desired to eat the moon . For a person who acquired quite limited education , or no education at all , the answer given by mainstream science is likely as puzzled , if not more , as the lunar eclipse itself , so that would be harder accepted by lowwer educated or uneducated people than the superstition . And this is just another major problem :

There are so many people belonging to the range of little educated in our imperfect world , including the poor and the underclass who have no money to go to school ---- they are prone to be believers of superstition or victims of pseudoscience .  To some minor racial living in remote backcountries , such as American Indian and China's minor racial of zang , the lack of basic knowledge of science and their unique customs both cause the prevail of nonmainstream areas of inquiry .

A third reason may follow the long-lived saying "Old habits , die hard " . Admittedly , the period of human society in the ray of civilization is relatively quite shorter than the entire history of human beings , and the acceptance of science accompanied with the former , but the astrology , fortune-telling , and so kind , born with the latter  . Although we regard these as unscientific and irrational nowadays , they have existed so long a time that their influence has been deeper as well as wider enough , they rooted in almost every aspect of our daily life and affect us before we realized , which is especially true when we are sited at the margin of scientific knowledge . Do not think it is a kind of exaggeration . You can easily find , so many people still require fortune-teller --- knowing something about the " future " helps to comfort their worry about the uncertainty of future ,these people are not necessarily  all believe what the future-teller's words , but that not affect they go to a future-teller to ask for advice and regulate their act accorded to that advice . Probably , that is the action of subconscious , formed in the process of human evolution .

By the way , the nonmainstream areas of inquiry can also satisfy people's curiosity and peace their nervous about the unknown worlds . Having a say , in any way , is better than having nothing .

In sum , before science is widespread and powerful enough to solve all the worries and puzzles the human being suffered from , those nonmainstream areas of inquiry will go on play an important place . That  is not  necessarily a bad thing . Some long-lived religions are also beyond the mainstream science ,but they teach our common human to act good deed , they also publicize the virtues , such as understanding mutually , peaceful , and so forth , if everyone had followed these , the world would be far more better than paradise . But when the nonmainstream areas of inquiry is misused , that would be dangerous , and our democracy ,our freedom , our fortune even our most
valued lives would be threatened.

We could believe that , one day ,  the mainstream of science would be able to dominate in every aspect of our lives. We also should understand , that day do not be today , not tomorrow , either . Before the coming of that great day , there still a quite long and arduous process .

豌豆UID: 144569

"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry of astrology , fortune-telling , and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science ."


The development of our society is more and more fast , the science and technology keeps changing every day . And we are so proud of all these achievements . The mainstream science , however , have not succeeded taken up(succeed doing) every areas of our material world , as well as our psychic worlds . That is to say , there are still so many mysterious things or puzzled phenomena existed but we cannot explain clear(clearly) through the exerting of mainstream science , or even we have no idea at all ,where is just the realm dominated by nonmainstream areas such as astrology , fortune-telling , psychic and paranormal pursuit. Maybe we are so reluctant to accept this fact , but it do exist among us . 这一段指明了由于很多mysterious things 不能被科学解释,因此,你的观点是肯定题目

The phenomenon is understandable that nonmainstream areas of inquiry , sometimes we used to call which "superstition" or "pseudoscience" , still prevail today in certain areas . Firstly , in most of the case , the explanation of superstition is surely far more easy (far more easy 这个用法不对,easier)and direct than the explanation maid by real science . A case in point is the happening of lunar eclipse , a scientific explanation must concerned the relative position of the moon ,the earth and the sun in universal space , however ,(用whereas比较好) a nonmainstream-areas-of -inquiried one may be just simply that a superdog
in the sky desired to eat the moon . For a person who acquired quite limited education , or no education at all , (没有受过教育这个说法不必要acquired quite limited education ,很绕,长句是很好,但不要刻意去追求)the answer given by mainstream science is likely(to be puzzled) as puzzled , if not more , as the lunar eclipse itself , so that would be harder accepted by lowwer educated or uneducated people than the superstition . And this is just another major problem :这里无缘无故地为什么空一行出来?

There are so many people belonging to the range of little educated (many people belonging to the range of little educated 这种用法满奇怪的)in our imperfect world , including the poor and the underclass who have no money to go to school ---- they are prone to be believers of superstition or victims of pseudoscience . To some minor racial living in remote backcountries , such as American Indian and China's minor racial of zang , the lack of basic knowledge of science and their unique customs both cause the prevail of nonmainstream areas of inquiry . 这一段是第二个理由,And this is just another major problem :应该放到这一段

A third reason may follow the long-lived saying "Old habits , die hard " . Admittedly , the period of human society in the ray of civilization is relatively quite shorter than the entire history of human beings , and the acceptance of science accompanied with the former , but the astrology , fortune-telling , and so kind , born with the latter . Although we regard these as unscientific and irrational nowadays , they have existed so long a time that their influence has been deeper as well as wider enough , (这里是不是应该加个连词呢?否则不成句)they rooted in almost every aspect of our daily life and affect us before we realized , which is especially true when we are sited at the margin of scientific knowledge . Do not think it is a kind of exaggeration . You can easily find , so many people still require fortune-teller --- knowing something about the " future " helps to comfort their worry about the uncertainty of future ,these people are not necessarily all believe what the future-teller's words , but that not affect they go to a future-teller to ask for advice and regulate their act accorded(according) to that advice . Probably , that is the action of subconscious , formed in the process of human evolution .第三个理由,根深蒂固的人类进化史

By the way , the nonmainstream areas of inquiry can also satisfy people's curiosity and peace(pacify) their nervous about the unknown worlds . Having a say , in any way , is better than having nothing .这一段太短了,最好不要单独放出来,可以合并到上面一段,而且你说的其实就是上面那些东西,有重复,倒是可以用一些奇异现象来做论证,比如飞碟,怪兽什么的.按照我的想法,非主流科学盛行跟宗教是密不可分的

In sum , before science is widespread and powerful enough to solve all the worries and puzzles the human being suffered from , those nonmainstream areas of inquiry will go on play an important place . That is not necessarily a bad thing . Some long-lived religions are also beyond the mainstream science ,but they teach our common human to act good deed , they also publicize the virtues , such as understanding mutually , peaceful , and so forth , if everyone had followed these , the world would be far more better than paradise . (这里有两个句子吧,没有连词相接是不能放在一起的)But when the nonmainstream areas of inquiry is misused , that would be dangerous , and our democracy ,our freedom , our fortune even our most
valued lives would be threatened.老实讲,这一段写的不好,到底是写他好呢还是不好,虽然有转折,但感觉很突兀,而且匆匆收场,要么,这两个意群换个位置

We could believe that , one day , the mainstream of science would be able to dominate in every aspect of our lives. We also should understand , that day do not be today , not tomorrow , either . Before the coming of that great day , there still(be) a quite long and arduous process (这段没结束?不太看的懂)这一段延伸了,其实不如还是立足前面几段.

ciciwonderfulUID: 146466

楼上的豌豆姐姐，谢谢你的点评，我会参考您的意见仔细修改一下
关于第二段的最后一句的位置，我也想过把它移到下一段，但不知那会不会引起this 的指代不明？
关于倒数第二段，我是想尝试一下最近马克思主义哲学课上刚讲过的二分法，好像是得其反了。
关于最后一段，我只是想把主题升华一下（高中时写议论文一直是这么干的），刚才重读，是有些别扭，我再斟酌一下。

我是那种语法基础很差的人，不知道剩下的时间还够不够我把所有的错误都犯一次，还够不够我把作文提高到4分。

ciciwonderfulUID: 146466

修改稿：

"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry of astrology , fortune-telling , and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science ."


The development of our society is more and more fast , the science and technology keeps changing every day . And we are so proud of all these achievements . The mainstream science , however , have not succeeded taking up every areas of our material world , as well as our psychic worlds . That is to say , there are still so many mysterious things or puzzled phenomena existed but we cannot explain clearly through the exerting of mainstream science  , or even we have no idea at all ,where is just the realm dominated by nonmainstream areas such as astrology , fortune-telling , psychic and paranormal pursuit . Maybe we are so reluctant to accept this fact , but it do exist  among us .

The phenomenon is understandable that nonmainstream areas of inquiry , sometimes we used to call which "superstition"  or "pseudoscience" , still prevail today in certain areas  . Firstly , in most of the case , the explanation of superstition is surely much easier and more straightforward than the explanation made by real science. A case in point is the happening of lunar eclipse , a scientific explanation must concerned the  relative position of the moon ,the earth and the sun in universal space , whereas ,  a nonmainstream-areas-of -inquiried one may be just simply followed as a superdog in the sky desiring to eat the moon . For a person experienced limited education , the answer given by mainstream science is likely to be as puzzled , if not more , as the  phenomenon of lunar eclipse itself , so that would be harder accepted by lowwer educated or uneducated people than the superstition .

And this is just another major problem : even today , there are still so many people in the range of little educated  in our imperfect world , including the poor and the underclass who have no money to go to school ---- they are prone to be believers of superstition or victims of pseudoscience .  To some minor racial living in remote backcountries , such as American Indian and China's minor racial of zang , the lack of basic knowledge of science and their unique customs both cause the prevail of nonmainstream areas of inquiry .

A third reason may follow the long-lived saying "Old habits , die hard " . Admittedly , the period of human society in the ray of civilization is relatively quite shorter than the entire history of human beings , and the acceptance of science accompanied with the former , but the astrology , fortune-telling , and so kind , born with the latter  . Although we regard these as unscientific and irrational nowadays , they have existed so long a time that their influence has been deeper as well as wider enough , and they rooted in almost every aspect of our daily life and affect us before we realized , which is especially true when we are sited at the margin of scientific knowledge . Do not think it is a kind of exaggeration . You can easily find , so many people still require fortune-teller --- knowing something about the " future " , maybe , helps to comfort their worry about the uncertainty of future , these people are not necessarily all believe what the future-teller's words , but that not affect they go to a future-teller to ask for advice and regulate their act according to that advice . Probably , that is the action of subconscious , formed in the process of human evolution .

Some long-lived religions are also beyond the mainstream science , every of which has a large amount of followers , and this followers are so faithful to their beliefs that willing to believe their god , regardless of whether the god’s words scientific or not . This kind of fate will help the prevailing of nonmainstream areas of inquiry. It is admitted , when they teach our common individuals to act good deed , and when they  publicize the virtues , such as understanding mutually , peaceful , and so forth , the religion is not necessarily a bad thing , if only everyone had followed these advice, the world would be far more better than paradise . But when the power of religion is misused , that would be dangerous , as issues would be raisen  and our democracy ,our freedom , our fortune even our most valued lives would be threatened .

By the way , the nonmainstream areas of inquiry can also satisfy people's curiosity and pacify their nervous about the unknown worlds . There are so many phenomena , such as the happening of dream , the appearing of monster , which the science cannot explain clearly , but instead , the nonmainstream says often sound like something reasonable . Having a say , in some way , may be better than having nothing .

In sum , before science is widespread and powerful enough to solve all the worries and puzzles the human being suffered from , those nonmainstream areas of inquiry will go on play an important place .