issue77，请大家帮我改一改，谢谢！

Ivy0929UID: 149906

77”People today are too individualistic. Instead of pursuing self-centered, separate goals, people need to understand that satisfaction comes from working for the greater good of the family, the community, or society as a whole.”

I strongly agree to the assertion presented by the speaker that people need to understand that satisfaction comes from working for the greater good for the family, the community, or the society as a whole, which is essential to the prosperity of the human civilization, rather than merely for the individual.

Undeniably, in nowadays’ society filled with increasingly intense competition, there are indeed some people to be undue individualistic regardless of the greater good of others or of the society. For supporting examples one need look no further than a private enterprise owner, who let the poisonous gas and waste water out without any further treatment in order to gain the maximum profits for himself without any consideration to the potential adverse effects on the health of the workers, of the habitants living around the factory, and even more importantly, on the increasingly polluted environment. Accordingly, from the example we should realize that too individualistic is inclined to do harm on the interests of others, and even to the whole society.

Nevertheless, Only when all the people understand the importance and indispensability of working for the greater good of the family, the community and the whole society, can our human civilization be continuously augment and enhanced. If we take a look into the human history, we might readily find that the highly advance democracy we modern people enjoy today should be owned to the Independent Revolution leaded by Washington, the later Civil War leaded by Lincoln and the movement sponsored by Martin Luther King. Without these preeminent individuals who exerted their great efforts to pursue the good and welfare of human beings and the whole society, human would still remain the suppressive society full of racial discrimination without freedom. Consequently, in some extent, it is the responsibility of individuals to work on the behalf of the community and society in order to create a more glorious human civilization.

Furthermore, the interests of individual and that of the whole society are not mutually exclusive, but in some way mutually beneficial. In order to illustrate this point clearly, let’s return to the private factory example mentioned above. Imagine that the factory owner takes into account of the interests and welfare of the workers to make some effective measures such as promoting the education of their children, which may greatly reinforce the activity and responsibility of the workers and ultimately enhance the effectiveness of production. And, he also regard the interests of the whole society to invest a proper potion of his profit to treat the waste to decrease the pollution of the environment, which may gain trust and support of the public and thus contribute to the long-term success of the factory. Obviously, the consideration for the workers and the society will bring the factory owner with greater interests.

In sum, instead of pursuing mere interest of individuals, which may damage the good of others and even of the whole society, people should give more consideration to the greater good of the family, the community or society, which is favorable to the interest of individuals, and more importantly, is essential and indispensable for the steadily advanced human civilization.

Ivy0929UID: 149906

我的思路：
1，undue individualistic对他人、社会不利
2，社会因为有许多为社会着想的人而进步
3，集体和个人利益不冲突

拜托大家了！

genie05UID: 30358

77”People today are too individualistic. Instead of pursuing self-centered, separate goals, people need to understand that satisfaction comes from working for the greater good of the family, the community, or society as a whole.”

I strongly agree to the assertion presented by the speaker that people need to understand that satisfaction comes from working for the greater good for the family, the community, or the society as a whole, which is essential to the prosperity of the human civilization, rather than merely for the individual.(开头不错)

Undeniably, in nowadays’ society filled with increasingly intense competition, there are indeed some people to be undue individualistic regardless of the greater good of others or of the society. For supporting examples one need look no further than a private enterprise owner, who let the poisonous gas and waste water out without any further treatment in order to gain the maximum profits for himself （不仅仅是HIMSELF 吧，所以不如不要）without any consideration to the potential adverse effects on the health of the workers, of the habitants living around the factory, and even more importantly, on the increasingly polluted environment. Accordingly, （from the example we should realize太罗嗦了，简洁的表达了意见就可以了） that too individualistic is inclined to do harm on the interests of others, and even to the whole society.（关于长句，个人看法是长句必要，但是GRE阅读的长句绝对是不正常的。所以在不必要的时候建议不要用那么长的句子：） ）

Nevertheless, Only（大小写还是要注意哦。呵呵） when all the people understand the importance and indispensability of working for the greater good of the family, the community and the whole society, can our human civilization be continuously augment and enhanced. If we take a look into the human history,（JUST TAKE A LOOK INTO THE HUMAN HISTORY AND。。在WE的使用的时候常有重复的问题，多考虑一下便可以避免，顺便增加句子的多样性，嘿嘿 ） we might readily find that the highly advance democracy we modern people enjoy today should be owned to the Independent Revolution leaded by Washington, the later Civil War leaded by Lincoln and the movement sponsored by Martin Luther King. Without these preeminent individuals who exerted their great efforts to pursue the good and welfare of human beings and the whole society, human would still remain the suppressive society full of racial discrimination without freedom. Consequently, in some extent（to some extent?）, it is the responsibility of individuals to work on the behalf of the community and society in order to create a more glorious human civilization.

Furthermore, the interests of individual and that of the whole society are not mutually exclusive, but in some way mutually beneficial(互惠有专门的词语吧). In order to illustrate this point clearly, let’s return to the private factory example mentioned above.（在举例子的时候感觉用的种类很多，不过有时最简单的就可以了，简单美嘛：）） Imagine that the factory owner takes into account of the interests and welfare of the workers to make some effective measures such as promoting the education of their children, which may greatly reinforce the activity and responsibility of the workers and ultimately enhance the effectiveness of production. And, he（HE OR SHE要这样来使用）also regard（REGARDS） the interests of the whole society to invest a proper potion of his profit to treat the waste to decrease the pollution of the environment, which may gain trust and support of the public and thus contribute to the long-term success of the factory. Obviously, the consideration for the workers and the society will bring the factory owner with greater interests.

In sum, instead of pursuing mere interest of individuals, which may damage the good of others and even of the whole society, people should give more consideration to the greater good of the family, the community or society, which is favorable to the interest of individuals, and more importantly, is essential and indispensable for the steadily advanced human civilization.

时间不多了，没有仔细看。
不过感觉不错，呵呵，英语水平应该。。。。。。。。。：）
KEN 的MM吗？嘿嘿

jorgeUID: 108878

楼主已经写的不错了 :)

有些语法和句法 问题 能改进一下,就最好了----

另外，最好能找到 和例子 同等的 作用

re:"Without these preeminent individuals who exerted their great efforts to pursue the good and welfare of human beings and the whole society, human would still remain the suppressive society full of racial discrimination without freedom."

such as :" turbulence and confusion."

Ivy0929UID: 149906

啊，谢谢大家！你们的建议都好极了，我一定要好好改进！
有这么多好心人帮我改，好开心啊！