PS写作的一个注意问题

加菲熊UID: 103463

今天中午…

昨天把我申请博士的材料给了教授，让他帮我写recommendation letter
今天中午收到其中一个教授电话，打到我手机来的
狂受打击…不过上了一个很好的课。

他狠狠批评了我的ps
“ I felt sick to read your PS”
“ The first 3 paragraphs are excellent, but the 4th and the 5th are all ass-kissing…拍马屁”
“American school doesn’t need your flattery words; they want to know who you are.”
…
虽然狠狠被批，但我感谢他给我电话。起码证明，他真心想帮我。

加菲熊UID: 103463

To learn more about XXXXX phenomena, I have determined to pursue a Ph.D. degree in xxxxxx at the illustrious xxxxxxx. There are four basic reasons for pursuing a XXXXX Ph.D. in the United States.  First, American universities are world-renowned for their intellectual openness and freedom.  Second, universities in the United States generally have a plethora of academic resources.  Third, the study of American politics is very valuable, since America is presumably the most free and liberal nation on earth.  Finally, studying in the United States helps to foster the spirit of intellectual discourse and engagement; and this intellectual spirit encourages and reinforces the rational/deductive method.  

       Among universities in the United States, there are factors that make xxxxx particularly appealing. Through my interaction with the brilliant xxxxxx faculty at xxxxx, I have come to the realization that xxxx’sxxxxxx program is among the best in the world and, even more important – xxxxx is best suited for my goals.


贴出问题的段落，大家别学我了。

blueqiaoUID: 111634

谢谢提醒。可能很多人都会这么写的啊。

windhunterUID: 119737

是寫的很搞笑……

不過我沒有寫太多爲什麽要讀這所學校哎，我就是找了一點這個係的特點，然後說了一兩句，也就一段吧，另外根據各個係的特點，前面的内容側重點稍微修改一下


我覺得寫目的，好像很難寫
我就是想去讀書阿
我的ps主要還是放在了自己的潛能、優勢和興趣的介紹上
這樣子可以嗎

（最要命的是我申的一個學校，既要personal statement 還要statement of purpose（optional），天啊，怎麽寫得出來那麽多）

fantasy5UID: 136396

我主要写的也是PERSONAL STATEMENT，但是有的学校要求不同，比如STATEMENT OF PURPOSE，CAREER STATEMENT就麻烦了
我自己也没什么很明确的打算，可能很多人都是这样的把

windhunterUID: 119737

其实我也有自己的梦想，但是我不知道学哪个方向最贴切它
有好几个分支好像都有关
拜托还没有学我怎么知道呢？

如果方向和目的写得太具体，又不容易引起更多的教授的注意

carol-wUID: 106569

9494，好麻烦，我现在ps都还没有定稿那