Issue5 第一篇请赐教

uestc_gterUID: 138214

A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."


Education, itself a complex matter, has been argued about ever since it had formally existed. When we receive and give education, actually, we are dealing with people. Education should and has to be varied and interactive, while the holistic characteristic is generally congruent. By doing this, education can be put simply and efficiently.

It is easy to understand that the situation varied from place to place as there are so many factors which make big and small influence on a region, education, too. As has been stated above, education deals with people, which mean it is highly dependent on the region's basic living conditions. When we use multi-media technology in modern teaching for some specific courses in some of the developed regions, the students live in the remote areas might have problem finding their next pencil. It is impossible for the students in such regions to learn to use the modern scientific tools such as MATLAB and MICROSOFT VISUAL STUDIO because most of them even don't know the exact shape of a computer! Obviously, the courses should be offered considering both the ability to offer by the schools and government and the ability to receive by the student of a certain place.

In addition, as the historical and economical conditions varied from place to place, not only offering courses that beyond the educators of a region 's ability will be effortless, but also obstructive for an advanced region to offer too simple courses too catch the trend of modern technology to maintain their competence in modern society. So it seems that we can come to a conclusion that the "National Curriculum” is not at all necessary and the curriculum is best designed by different region's educators considering their region's situation.

Obviously that is not the whole story.  A nation is set up for its whole population. When we meet the problem which the people in the some nation could not enjoy a good life together, the nation is there to use its power. This applies to the locational difference in education. As education has been fatal for a region's further development, we should expect all the nation's people been given a good and relatively complete education. The first point I am going to present about this topic is that if a certain region has problem offering some new and well articulated courses for its people, the helping hands of other region's people as well as educational service are needed. Recently years, universities in my city have been donated a big amount of money and funds from Hong Kong to improve the teaching conditions .By using their money, my university has built some new and modern buildings equipped with the advanced teaching facilities such as projectors and bid screens. This means some new courses could be offered as the teaching is computer assisted. Another point I am trying to make is that a nation's development depends on its states and cities, where the general plan of the nation is distributed. It is extremely important that the nation's general plan been put into practice, and only by designing a general plan of education can this policy been executed. What could the government do if the nation's education is in the state of anarchy? If the central government doesn't have a general idea of the education standard of the whole nation, how could the plan of the development been made? By considering the two factors above, we can see how important it is for a nation to set a general congruent education plan for the whole.

Education, not only the concrete process to teach and learn, but an important factor for a nation's development and the improvements of living standard of modern people, calls for a generally same and specifically different academic plan to be put into. Only by doing this can a harmony and effective education benefits our people.

fortitudesagUID: 139374

A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."


Education, itself a complex matter, has been argued about ever since it had formally existed. When we receive and give education, actually, we are dealing with people. Education should and has to be varied and interactive, while the holistic characteristic is generally congruent（我没太懂，是大同小异吗？）. By doing this, education can be put simply and efficiently.

It is easy to understand that the situation varied from place to place as there are so many factors which make big and small influence on a region, education, too. As has been stated above, education deals with people, which mean（三单） it is highly dependent on the region's basic living conditions. When we use multi-media technology in modern teaching for some specific courses in some of the developed regions, the students live in the remote areas might have problem finding their next pencil. It is impossible for the students in such regions to learn to use the modern scientific tools such as MATLAB and MICROSOFT VISUAL STUDIO because most of them even don't know the exact shape of a computer! Obviously, the courses should be offered considering both the ability to offer by the schools and government and the ability to receive by the student of a certain place.

In addition, as the historical and economical conditions varied from place to place, not only offering courses that beyond the educators of a region 's ability will be effortless, but also obstructive for an advanced region to offer too simple courses too catch the trend of modern technology to maintain their competence in modern society. So it seems that we can come to a conclusion that the "National Curriculum” is not at all necessary and the curriculum is best designed by different region's educators considering their region's situation.

Obviously that is not the whole story. A nation is set up for its whole population. When we meet the problem which the people in the some nation could not enjoy a good life together, the nation is there to use its power. This applies to the locational difference in education. As education has been fatal for a region's further development, we should expect all the nation's people been given a good and relatively complete education. The first point I am going to present about this topic is that if a certain region has problem offering some new and well articulated courses for its people, the helping hands of other region's people as well as educational service are needed. Recently years, universities in my city have been donated a big amount of money and funds from Hong Kong to improve the teaching conditions .By using their money, my university has built some new and modern buildings equipped with the advanced teaching facilities such as projectors and bid screens. This means some new courses could be offered as the teaching is computer assisted. Another point I am trying to make is that a nation's development depends on its states and cities, where the general plan of the nation is distributed. It is extremely important that the nation's general plan （少助动词吧？）been put into practice, and only by designing a general plan of education can this policy been executed. What could the government do if the nation's education is in the state of anarchy? If the central government doesn't have a general idea of the education standard of the whole nation, how could the plan of the development been made? By considering the two factors above, we can see how important it is for a nation to set a general congruent education plan for the whole.

Education, not only the concrete process to teach and learn, but an important factor for a nation's development and the improvements of living standard of modern people, （process and factor 做主语似乎有点不合适）calls for a generally same and specifically different academic plan to be put into. Only by doing this can a harmony and effective education benefits our people.


个人力量有限，多多包涵。

genie05UID: 30358

A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."

Education, itself a complex matter, （这个是个什么成分？）has been argued about ever since it had formally existed. When we receive and give education,（GIVE EDUCATION这个表达正确吗？） actually, we are dealing with people. Education should and has to be varied and interactive, while the holistic characteristic is generally congruent. By doing this, education can be put simply and efficiently.
不错，表明了自己态度，并且有一定的拓展。可是关于xx AND xx的用法太多了，换点别的方法吧。
It is easy to understand that the situation varied from place to place as there are so many factors which make big and small influence(用GREAT AND LITTLE，或者SIGNIFICANT ) on a region, education, too. （没有表达清楚你的意思）As has been stated above, education deals with people, which mean（s） it is highly dependent on the region's basic living conditions. When we use multi-media technology in modern teaching for some specific courses in some of the developed regions, the students live in the remote areas might have problem finding their next pencil.（两个句子同时是用进行式的会好些吧） It is impossible for the students in such regions to learn to use the modern scientific tools such as MATLAB and MICROSOFT VISUAL STUDIO（，该断句的时候也要注意） because most of them even don't know the exact shape of a computer! Obviously, the courses should be offered considering both the ability to offer by the schools and government and the ability to receive by the student of a certain place.

In addition, as the historical and economical conditions varied from place to place, not only offering courses that beyond the educators of a region’s ability will be effortless, but also obstructive for an advanced region to offer too simple courses too catch the trend of modern technology to maintain their competence in modern society. So it seems that we can come to a conclusion that the "National Curriculum” is not at all necessary and the curriculum is best designed by different region's educators considering their region's situation.（这个段落放在这里要表达什么意思？如果要写，能够进行充分的论证才可以。）

还没有看本段，但是300字的长段落是不太明智的，考虑一下平衡问题。
Obviously that is not the whole story. A nation is set up for its whole population. When we meet the problem which the people in the some nation could not enjoy a good life together, the nation is there to use its power. This applies to the locational difference in education. As education has been fatal（先查了词的意思再用，这里不合适） for a region's further development, we should expect all the nation's people been given a good and relatively complete education. The first point I am going to present about this topic is that if a certain region has problem offering some new and well articulated courses for its people, the helping hands of other region's people as well as educational service are needed. Recently years, universities in my city have been donated a big amount of money and funds from Hong Kong to improve the teaching conditions .By using their money, my university has built some new and modern buildings equipped with the advanced teaching facilities such as projectors and bid screens. This means some new courses could be offered as the teaching is computer assisted. Another point I am trying to make is that a nation's development depends on its states and cities, where the general plan of the nation is distributed. It is extremely important that the nation's general plan been put into practice, and only by designing a general plan of education can this policy been executed. What could the government do if the nation's education is in the state of anarchy? If the central government doesn't have a general idea of the education standard of the whole nation, how could the plan of the development been made? By considering the two factors above, we can see how important it is for a nation to set a general congruent education plan for the whole.

Education, not only the concrete process to teach and learn, but an important factor for a nation's development and the improvements of living standard of modern people, calls for a generally same and specifically different academic plan to be put into. Only by doing this can a harmony and effective education benefits our people.

没看完，抱歉。

genie05UID: 30358

A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."

Education, itself a complex matter, （这个是个什么成分？）has been argued about ever since it had formally existed. When we receive and give education,（GIVE EDUCATION这个表达正确吗？） actually, we are dealing with people. Education should and has to be varied and interactive, while the holistic characteristic is generally congruent（？）. By doing this, education can be put simply and efficiently.
表明了自己态度，并且有一定的拓展。可是关于xx AND xx的用法太多了，感觉枯燥，考虑变换。

It is easy to understand that the situation varied from place to place as there are so many factors which make big and small influence(用GREAT AND LITTLE，或者SIGNIFICANT ) on a region, education, too. （没有表达清楚你的意思）As has been stated above, education deals with people, which mean（s） it is highly dependent on the region's basic living conditions. When we use multi-media technology in modern teaching for some specific courses in some of the developed regions, the students live in the remote areas might have problem finding their next pencil.（两个句子同时是用进行式的会好些吧） It is impossible for the students in such regions to learn to use the modern scientific tools such as MATLAB and MICROSOFT VISUAL STUDIO（，该断句的时候也要注意） because most of them even don't know the exact shape of a computer! Obviously, the courses should be offered considering both the ability to offer by the schools and government and the ability to receive by the student of a certain place.

In addition, as the historical and economical conditions varied from place to place, not only offering courses that beyond the educators of a region’s ability will be effortless, but also obstructive for an advanced region to offer too simple courses too catch the trend of modern technology to maintain their competence in modern society. So it seems that we can come to a conclusion that the "National Curriculum” is not at all necessary and the curriculum is best designed by different region's educators considering their region's situation.（这个段落放在这里要表达什么意思？如果要写，能够进行充分的论证才可以。）

还没有看本段，但是写300字的长段落是不太明智的，考虑一下平衡问题。
Obviously that is not the whole story. A nation is set up for its whole population. When we meet the problem which the people in the some nation could not enjoy a good life together, the nation is there to use its power. This applies to the locational difference in education. As education has been fatal（先查了词的意思再用，这里不合适） for a region's further development, we should expect all the nation's people been given （所有人“被给予”和“能够接受到”我选择后者，在句式和语态的变换上要求自然，不要强求。）a good and relatively complete education（这里的RELATIVELY COMPLETE EDUCATION如何理解？）. The first point（ I am going to present about this topic段落已经过长，不该罗嗦的地方就不要罗嗦） is that if a certain region has problem offering some new and well articulated courses for its people, the helping hands of other region's people as well as educational service are needed. Recently years（adv+n??）, universities in my city have been donated a big amount of money and funds from Hong Kong to improve the teaching conditions .By using their money, my university has built some new and modern buildings equipped with the advanced teaching facilities such as projectors and bid screens(这个表达正确吗？). This means some new courses could be offered as the teaching is computer assisted.（同时以前的一些课程也可以被改进。。。。）。 Another point （I am trying to make ）is that a nation's development depends on its states and cities, where the general plan of the nation is distributed. It is extremely important that the nation's general plan（blueprint?） been put into practice, and only by designing a general plan of education can this policy been executed. What could the government do if the nation's education is in the state of anarchy? If the central government doesn't have a general idea of the education standard of the whole nation, how could the plan of the development been made? By considering the two factors above, we can see how important it is for a nation to set a general congruent education plan for the whole.（有偏题的嫌疑，这个段落你重点在讨论什么？）

Education, not only the concrete process to teach and learn,(是否有点本末倒置，是教育是教与学的一个PROCESS，还是反过来？) but an important factor for a nation's development and the improvements of living standard of modern people, calls for a generally same and specifically different academic plan to be put into. Only by doing this can a harmony and effective education benefits our people.

哎，UESTC？偶还是努力看完了。

uestc_gterUID: 138214

Thanks alot,"little pig" :-), I am from Uestc,and I registered to the writing test on next March 30th,you? Which university are you in ?
Anyway,thanks again!!

genie05UID: 30358

不客气。
偶不是住万人吭的，呵呵，好好干吧。

uestc_gterUID: 138214

[QUOTE].（有偏题的嫌疑，这个段落你重点在讨论什么？）

what I was trying to argue  in para.3 is to indicate that a nation is set up for the whole ,and as a result the national curriculum should be generally congruent considering the education level of the whole population and the development of the nation.
I split this into 2 points:
1,The general curriculum should be put into practise even if there are some regions which have problems to offer some certain courses included in it.
  2,The development of the nation calls for a gengerally congruent education plan.
  What do you think??
   
  by the way ,俺现在大2，也不住万人坑了，东院租房ING 。