issue104

happyman2000UID: 136936

104. "It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears."  

Admittedly it is true that any society hopes to perpetuate its culture and values by means of formal education, but this does not mean that formal education can really function best to this purpose as the society expects.

The modern era is vividly characterized by its highly advanced formal educational system: almost every country in the contemporary world deems the education as the most important social section and allocates the largest part of public resources for the development of formal education. However, along with this unprecedented emphasis on the formal education, the modern society finds it more and more difficult to instill its favored ideas, values and traditions into its students and social members. For example, no country encourages its social members to divorce but the divorce rate all over the world has witnessed a striking increase since the 2nd World War. On the country, in the past society in which formal education was very backward and  available to only a few people, the ideas and traditions that a culture values was much easier to be perpetuated from generations to generations. In some traditional society, many traditions have existed for even thousands of years while in the modern society everything changes rapidly and nothing can be safely regarded as permanent or having sustained values.

The above comparison between the modern society and the traditional society vividly indicates that the formal education can never, if any, play as an important role in perpetuating values and culture as the author believes. But how does a culture find its way to survive and spread? Historical, sociological and psychological study have long revealed that only through interactive communication between social members can people identify themselves with some social norms, traditions and cultures. People are disposed to conform to certain culture only when they observe other social members conform to it.

Therefore, in the traditional society, although the formal education was very backward, people were confined within a narrow area and they shaped their values and norms primarily through imitating the behaviors of their seniors and interaction between members in the same community. This traditional manner of socialization of individuals, obviously, conduces to the preservation and transition of ideas and values that a society favors. This is why traditional society was more efficient in perpetuating its favored culture.

The modern society heavily depends on the formal education to accumulate and create knowledge of modern science and technology, which are redeemed as the origins of social progress. However, too much emphasis on the formal education, in the sense, can even impose some negative effects on instilling ideas and values that a culture highlights into the social members. According to the analysis above, the values that children are most likely to accept are always those that can be often observed in their parents, teachers or other celebrities by children. But, the first-rate problem with the formal education is that students find no way to authenticate what teachers teach to them. Sometimes, students are even confused by the inconsistency of what teachers teach with the social reality. This determines that the formal education is destined to be of low efficiency in imbuing students with ideas and values that the society favors. All societies in the world hope to imbue their students with the value of honesty through the way of formal education, for example, but whether the societies can attain this goal does not rest with the performance of formal education, but depend on the actual behaviors of politicians, teachers, movie stars, businessmen and so on. In a society where politicians are accustomed to tell lies and most businessmen are inclined to cheat, obviously no one should expect its students to accept such a imbued value of honesty, no matter how advanced the formal educational system may be.

To sum up, any culture is transited only through interaction between social members and the formal education can do little, if any, to the preservation and transition of the culture.

imongUID: 140258

104. "It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears."

Admittedly it is true that any(any一般是否定句才用，应该用all，中文的“任何”不一定对应any) society hopes to perpetuate its culture and values by means of formal education, but this does not mean that formal education can really function best to(这个表达并不准) this purpose as the society expects.

The modern era（times） is vividly(vividly多余) characterized by its highly advanced formal educational system: almost every country in the contemporary world deems the education as the most important social section and allocates the largest part of public resources for the development of formal education. However, along with this unprecedented emphasis on the formal education, the modern society finds it more and more difficult to instill its favored ideas, values and traditions into its students and social members. For example, no country encourages its social members to divorce but the divorce rate all over the world has witnessed a striking increase since the 2nd World War.（好！） On the country, in the past society in which formal education was very backward and available to only a few people, the ideas and traditions that a culture values was much easier to be perpetuated from generations to generations. In some traditional society, many traditions have existed for even thousands of years while in the modern society everything changes rapidly and nothing can be safely regarded as permanent or having sustained values.后半段说得没有前半段清楚，但是都说得很好。

The above comparison （少了个made?）between the modern society and the traditional society vividly indicates(如果前边用vivid后边最好接点illustrate，demonstrate之类的，indicate不好) that the formal education can never, if any, （这里放个插入是好的，但是不是if any，和后边不搭配，而且如果要用插入，前边不能否到死，也就是never要改成rarely，这个错误犯大了。） play as（as改成such，再读一遍，as…as很别扭，少了点东西似的） an important role in perpetuating （是不是加一个favorable之类的？）values and culture as the author believes. But how does a culture find its way to survive and spread（thrive吧？）? Historical, sociological and psychological study have long revealed that only through interactive（这个修饰有点多余？） communication between social members can people identify themselves with some social norms, traditions and cultures. 嗯？有问题。前边提出的问题，后便给出study什么什么得到答案，可是这个答案不是前边问题的答案，没有对上。和你第一个body里边非常漂亮的行文线路有反差啊。People are disposed to conform to certain culture only when they observe other social members conform （错啦，两个动词了）to it.

Therefore, in the traditional society, although the formal education was very backward（不能用别的词吗？primitive? undeveloped? ）, people were confined within a narrow area and they shaped their values and norms primarily through imitating the behaviors of their seniors and interaction between members in the same community. (and太多，重新组织！)This traditional manner of socialization of individuals, obviously, conduces to the preservation and transition（transition? trans的这几个词的意思还是有区别的。应该不是transition。） of ideas and values that a society favors. This is why traditional society was more efficient in perpetuating its favored culture.

The modern society heavily depends（depends heavily，舒服一些。） on the（去掉the） formal education to accumulate and create knowledge of modern science and technology, which are redeemed as the origins of social progress. However, too much emphasis on the formal education, in the sense, can even impose some negative effects on instilling ideas and values that a culture highlights into the social members. According to the analysis above, the values that children are most likely to accept are always those that can be often observed in their parents, teachers or other celebrities by children. But, the first-rate problem with the formal education is that students find no way to authenticate what teachers teach to them. Sometimes, students are even confused by the inconsistency of what teachers teach with the social reality. This determines(这种用法尽量避免吧，用this phenomenon inevitably leads to the low efficiency of…) that the formal education is destined to be of low efficiency in imbuing students with ideas and values that the society favors. All societies in the world hope to imbue their students with the value of honesty through the way of formal education, for example, but whether the societies can attain this goal does not rest with the performance of formal education, but depend on the actual behaviors of politicians, teachers, movie stars, businessmen and so on. In a society where politicians are accustomed to(不对！不是accustomed to，应该是内在习惯而不是习惯于外在环境，更准确的表达一时没想到，要不然 where … are of usual practice) tell lies and most businessmen are inclined to cheat, obviously no one should expect its students to accept such a imbued value of honesty, no matter how advanced the formal educational system may be.

To sum up, any culture is transited(?) only through interaction between social members and the formal education can do little, if any, to the preservation and transition of the culture.
第一个body的行文简单清楚，例子又正点，简直帅呆了。后边的比起来就相对逊色一些了，线索没有那么清楚，但是和别人的比起来也不错了。我觉得做一些大范围微调之后绝对是6分范文的。

猪头你的水平大家有目共睹啊，相信自己的问题绝对可以搞得定的。加油哦。

happyman2000UID: 136936

多谢imong给我打气！