練習了一篇..請大家多多指教..

linda71527UID: 151327

Topic 8
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

     Some people agree that television has destroyed communication among friends and family while others disagree. As far as I am concerned, I totally disagree this statement because television does not dominate the lives of most people and moreover it provides the topics of conversation for people.
     First of all, television does not control our whole lives; instead, it is a part of our lives. It is rarer and rarer for people to spend their whole evening watching television without doing anything else. For most people, watching television is one kind of methods to get updated information and to relax the stress stemming from work. Through watching television can people select any channel what they want by a remote controller and just for entertainment and information-aborting after exhausting work in the daytime.
     In addition, television does not devastate communication between people; on the contrary it promotes more opportunities for us to talk with our friends and familyand brings us together. For example, there is a piece of hot news reported on television, arising attention of not only our family but also the public. It gives everyone the information needed to discuss it and a subject of talk to voice their points of view. Besides, since programs on television may be written to appeal the largest possible audience, watching them can acquire unfailing delights and share
interests between us.       
     In summary, according to what I have mentioned above, I consider that television has not interrupted communication among people because it does not lead our lives all the time. Furthermore it has a positive and proactive role that it increases chances for us to communicate with our friends and family.

ㄜ...看到別人的再看自己的...真的是很糟...
請各位前輩們...不吝惜指教...
要什麼要改進的..要加強的..就直說吧...
這樣我才能看清楚自己的缺點...謝謝各位的幫忙!!

霹雳猪UID: 134979

文章再润润色，没有修辞的文章看起太干，加一点比喻什么的

linda71527UID: 151327

ㄜ...好抽象喔...
我自己也覺得我寫的很白話...很口語...
潤色...潤色...潤色...好好想想.....

謝謝前輩指點....

霹雳猪UID: 134979

不敢当，切磋而已