ISSUE93 写着有点晕

52jeepUID: 135994

谢谢大家！！

93 "The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."

Our human society is comprised of each individual, thus, individual responsibility plays a key role in the development of modern world. The author in the title statement claims that people’s behavior is determined to a great extent by outside forces rather than their own making, which is unwarranted. As for as I am concerned, one’s behavior should and indeed be, determined by his or her own making. And individual throughout the world should be responsible for his or her behavior.

Above all, as a normal individual, each of us adults has the  capability to distinguish right and wrong. Not unlike the capability to differentiate ugly and beauty and to tell green and red, the ability to choose correct and incorrect is a constitutional and helpful one for us. Even in some cases we may feel the pressure of outside forces, the correct direction is surely in our minds. The rest thing is to choose the best solution, but the right of choosing still belongs to ourselves. In such circumstance, how could we attribute our possible wrong decisions or erroneous actions to the forces not of our own making? In another word, it is necessary for everyone of us to  have a scale in his or her mind to decide which is decent and proper to our society and which is detrimental therefore should be avoided.

In addition , individual responsibility lies in many ways rather than a necessary fiction. Life is filled with examples. A good case in point is that the 16th American President Lincoln, who emancipated thousands of slaves in the south during the civil war, attributed his final success his strong personal responsibility of seeking for equality of human beings. Another fitting illustration is the story of Thomas Edison, who patented more than 1000 inventions. This great inventor once said(and I paraphrase ),”It is the responsibility of helping other people shake off the dependence on the oil light that inspire my steady efforts.”

Simply put , a lot of moral and ethical problems will result from our behavior lack of individual responsibility. For instance, in Chinese belief, a men should be responsible for not only his own but also his family including his parents, his wife and his children. Therefore, this men must deliberate that whether his possible behavior have the positive consequence or not on his family before his final action.  A even more striking example is that President Nixon’s debacle resulted from his lack of one kinds of moral responsibility-honesty. What’s more, if everyone of us act without individual responsibility, the human society will turn into a horrendous place full of crime and social chaos.

In sum , from what has been discussed above,  we may safely arrive at the conclusion that individual responsibility is indispensable and helpful for us, and we should be responsible for each action of ourselves.

genie05UID: 30358

93 "The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."

Our human society is comprised of each individual, thus, individual responsibility plays a key role in the development of modern world. The author in the title statement claims that people’s behavior is determined to a great extent by outside forces rather than their own making, which is unwarranted. As for as I am concerned, one’s behavior should and indeed be, determined by his or her own making. And individual throughout the world should be responsible for his or her behavior.

Above all, as a normal individual, each of us adults has the capability to distinguish right and wrong. Not unlike the capability to differentiate ugly and beauty and to tell green and red, the ability to choose correct and incorrect is a constitutional and helpful one for us. Even in some cases we may feel the pressure of outside forces, the correct direction is surely in our minds. The rest thing is to choose the best solution, but the right of choosing still belongs to ourselves. In such circumstance, how could we attribute our possible wrong decisions or erroneous actions to the forces not of our own making? In another word（s）, it is necessary for everyone( of us )to have a scale in his or her mind to decide which is decent and proper to our society and which is detrimental therefore should be avoided.

In addition, individual responsibility lies in many ways rather than a necessary fiction. Life is filled with examples. A good case in point is that the 16th American President Lincoln, who emancipated thousands of slaves in the south during the civil war, attributed his final success his strong personal responsibility of seeking for equality of human beings. Another fitting illustration is the story of Thomas Edison, who patented more than 1000 inventions. This great inventor once said(and I paraphrase ),”It is the responsibility of helping other people shake off the dependence on the oil light that inspire my steady efforts.”（在例子举完以后最好有个总结。）

Simply put, a lot of moral and ethical problems will result from our behavior lack of individual responsibility. For instance, in Chinese belief, a men（？） should be responsible for not only his own but also his family including his parents, his wife and his children. Therefore, this men must deliberate that whether his possible behavior have the positive consequence or not on his family before his final action. A（n） even more striking example is that President Nixon’s debacle resulted from his lack of one kinds of moral responsibility-honesty. What’s more, if everyone of us act without individual responsibility, the human society will turn into a horrendous place full of crime and social chaos.

In sum, from what has been discussed above, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that individual responsibility is indispensable and helpful for us, and we should be responsible for each action of ourselves.


几点建议：
1,写完以后先自己仔细阅读。有很多小错误，没有一一标明了。
2，CHIHNGLISH,语言不够地道。多读多积累。
3,例子不错，可是讨论的没有深入，论证不是单纯的举例，要具体的往下深入。

Simply put, a lot of moral and ethical problems will result from our behavior lack(ing) of individual responsibility.（每一段首句是很重要的，如果表达经典的话会有很大的作用。你的这个表达总读着不顺。Simply put, a lot of moral and ethical problems will result from our lacking of individual responsibility.会好点，虽然也不怎么样。） For instance, in Chinese belief, a men（？） should be responsible for not only his own but also his family including his parents, his wife and his children. Therefore, this men must deliberate that whether his possible behavior have the positive consequence or not on his family before his final action. （你所写的这个是不能证明你的论点a lot of moral and ethical problems will result from our behavior lack(ing) of individual responsibility ，这样文章的紧凑性就大打折扣了。）A（n） even more striking example is that President Nixon’s debacle resulted from his lack of one kinds of moral responsibility-honesty（前面是RESULT FROM 这里换一下语序，用RESULT IN，或者别的词要好多了。尽量不要重复使用）. What’s more, if everyone（each） of us act without individual responsibility, （具体的一下，会是什么样的情景，比如诚信的丧失等等，以及会有什么后果，使文章丰满而且有说服力）the human society will turn into a horrendous place full of crime and social chaos.（在一段写完以后，不要就直接丢在那里了，比如这里，就算是小小的重复一下TOPIC SENTENCE，换一个表达，都会好些）
4，还有就是WE，I，等词语使用最好能少点。减少文章的客观性。

先写这么多，加油吧。^_^

好久没看作文了。看着都不怎么习惯了。

genie05UID: 30358

这个题目写的人很多，去精华区找找吧。
看看别人的写法，顺便开拓一下思路。