issue3 第二篇啦 但昨天的那篇好像还没什么commemts呢

methylUID: 139015

3. "It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social
      problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future
      generations."
In today's society, though science and technology keep developing at a high speed and the overall standard of people's life gets better, there still exist many crucial problems needed to be solved. Some of these problems are concerned with matters that need immediate solution such as wars, struggling with poverty and violating the laws etc., while some others involve the long-term or even potential issues that may happen in the future. Both the two aspects are of the same importance, and we should try our best to get them all resolved as quickly and effectively as possible, but when we are not able to satisfy both at one time for financial or some other reasons, focusing our attention to the immediate problems in priority might be a wise choice.

It is important to try all we can do to get the emergencies solved immediately, for their emergence may bring serious or even vital danger to the present society and the whole world. If they cannot be appropriately handled as soon as possible, it will turn out to be global tragedy which all of us do not wish to face. For example, when a vital illness that can quickly spread among people, such as SARS, is threatening the whole world, and hundreds of people who unfortunately get that disease lose their lives everyday, we should, without any hastate, allocate all of the money and efforts to fight against the virus and save all our fellows lives, and save the whole human kind. Such cases can also be seen when natural catastrophes, such as earthquake, flood etc. happen.

If the immediate existing problems cannot be handled in present, there is even no future for us to hand down to our descendants, so if we plan to solve the long-term and potential problems, the first thing that should be secure is that there is no unnoticed serious problem that is threatening our lives and security. At least it must be clear that these problems are known and are being solved and handled effectively.

However, though the immediate problems have priority to the long-term problems, we should never stop trying our best to solve the latter ones. Moreover, if they could be found and even handled before their really emergence, the immediate problems that will be faced in the future will be significantly reduced and less serious and make less damages than they are supposed to be, or even, in a more better case, future problems may be prevented from coming into being. For instance, if we promote public special education program which teach every ordinary person how to self-rescue during earthquake happens, then more people could benefit from the knowledge and methods they learn from the program and may survive from a really happened earthquake, so the number of people who lose their lives in the earthquake will be lowered, which is easier to tackle with compared with the cases when there is no such program.

In all, immediate problems should be solved first, while the long-term problems with potency should never be ignored if there is possibility to get them solved in advance.

发现在规定时间内只能写一半左右，谁来指点一下啊

imongUID: 140258

别着急~~也许大家都在忙？
我今天一早上就在机器上看文献，到现在刚刚看完，晚上要加班写报告
放心吧，会有人帮你看的 :)

ps. 昨天我们宿舍看见你的id都快笑翻了

methylUID: 139015

起这个名字不会和别人重复啊，呵呵。你是学化学的？

不过没人给提提意见颇不爽阿。。。

fortitudesagUID: 139374

In today's society, though science and technology keep developing at a high speed and the overall standard of people's life gets better, there still exist many crucial problems needed to be solved. Some of these problems are concerned with matters that need immediate solution such as wars, struggling with poverty and violating the laws etc., （排比最好用相同结构，你的后两个似乎还有点相反的味道）while some others involve the long-term or even potential issues that may happen in the future. Both the two aspects（kind of matter） are of the same importance, and we should try our best to get them all resolved as quickly and effectively as possible, but when we are not able to satisfy both at one time for financial or some other reasons, focusing our attention to the immediate problems in priority might be a wise choice.(既然有but转折，后句就应该是TS吧，前一句似乎也不是让步，这样两头重，会让人搞不清topic)

It is important to try all we can do to get the emergencies solved immediately（这句we作主语更象english语序）, for their emergence may bring serious or even vital danger to the present society and（这个and连接两个并列成分吗？） the whole world. If they cannot be appropriately handled as soon as possible, it will turn out to be global tragedy which all of us do not wish to face.（不具体） For example, when a vital illness that can quickly spread among people, such as SARS, is threatening the whole world, and hundreds of people who unfortunately get that disease lose their lives everyday（没有那么多吧，至少媒体没那么多，这件事情可作不了假）, we should, without any hastate, allocate all（最高级，被攻击的目标！！） of the money and efforts to fight against the virus and save all（好像医学没那么神） our fellows lives, and save the whole human kind.（地球还在，而且有人对SARS天生免疫） Such cases can also be seen when natural catastrophes, such as earthquake, flood etc. happen.

If the immediate existing problems cannot be handled in present, there is even no future for us to hand down to our descendants, so if we plan to solve the long-term and potential problems, the first thing that should be secure（这里当动词用还是形容词？） is that there is no unnoticed serious problem that is threatening our lives and security. At least it must be clear that these problems are known and are being solved and handled effectively.
这一段没有证据的支持。主题是descendants吗？

However, though the immediate problems have priority to the long-term problems, we should never stop trying our best to solve the latter ones（可以去掉，简洁）. Moreover, if they could be found and even handled before their really（词性！） emergence, the immediate（此词好像主要指现在） problems that will be faced in the future will be significantly reduced and less serious and make less damages than they are supposed to be, or even, in a more better case, future problems may be prevented from coming into being. For instance, if we promote public special education program which teach every ordinary person how to self-rescue during earthquake happens, then more people could benefit from the knowledge and methods they learn from the program and may survive from a really happened earthquake, so the number of people who lose their lives in the earthquake will be lowered, which is easier to tackle with compared with the cases when there is no such program.

In all, immediate problems should be solved first, while the long-term problems with potency should never be ignored if there is possibility to get them solved in advance.

思想方面：本片文章似乎是要取折中态度，偏向于眼前问题的解决，因为段数要多，但是展开的不是很充分，个人认为即使取复杂态度，也要偏向一方，因为你的立场要明确，只不过是要承认自己也有缺陷存在，不要展开的太多，要是能提出可能的解决办法就更好了。
论证方面：缺乏力度，第一段的例子还好，但是应该在丰富一下，比如说如果不在这些方面投入资金，就会导致什么后果，就更好了，其实还有好多论证手法，你可以从别人的文章和作文版的精华区学习一下。
语言方面：很chinglish，可以背一些文章，找一些语感，就会改善了！这片文章也有一些很好的地方。
其他：感谢你对别人的修改，你的问题可以多练习慢慢解决，包括打字练习、多写提纲、讨论提纲。

最后：要多来作文版看看，多给别人改改更提倡，也会有好多人给你改的。

methylUID: 139015

非常感谢楼上

methylUID: 139015

In today's society, though science and technology keep developing at a high speed and the overall standard of people's life gets better,many crucial problems still exist to be sloved .Some of these problems are concerned with matters that need immediate solution such as wars, poverty and crimes etc.,while some others involve the long-term or even potential issues which may bring troubles in the future.Both the two kinds are, indeed, of the same importance, which calls for our great effort to get them all resolved as efficiently and effectively as possible, however, when we are not able to satisfy both at one time for financial or some other reasons, focusing our attention to the immediate problems in piority might be a wise chiose.

It is critical to get the emergencies solved immediately,for their appearance may bring serious or even vital danger to the present society and the whole world. If they cannot be appropriatly handled as soon as possible, the situations will get worse quickly and dramatically, at the same time  everyone's life and security will be badly threatened.Finally, it will turn out to be global tragedy which all of us do not wish to face. For example, when a vital illness that can quickly spread among people, such as SARS, is theatening the whole world, and hundreds of people get infected, even some of them lose their lives everyday, we should, without any hesitate, allocate as much money and efforts as possible to fight against the virus and try to save our fellows' lives, thus save the whole human kind. Such cases can also be seen when natural catastrophes, such as earthquake, flood etc. happen.

If the immediate existing problems cannot be handled in present, there is even no future for us to hand down to our descendants, so if we plan to solve the long-term and potential problems, the first thing that should be secure is that there is no unnoticed serious problem that make our lives and security endangered. At least it must be clear that these problems are known and are being solved and handled on the effective way. The relationship between the immediate and the long-term problems can be vividly illustrated by an analogy with acute and chronic diseases. The acute diseases,such as heart attack, come out with serious yet evident symptoms, which, if the patient does not receive proper medicaal treatment in time, he or she will even died, while in the chronic disease cases, such as hypertension, there may be no apparent evidence at all, and the patient may live for comparatively longer time without any abnormal feelings.

Admittedly, however, though the immediate problems have piority to the long-term problems, we should never stop trying our best to solve the latter ones. Moreover,if they could be found and even handled before their real appearance, the problems that will be faced in the future will be significantly reduced and make less damages than they are supposed te be, or even, in more ideal cases, future problems may be prevented from coming into being due the effort paid in advance. For instance, if we promote public special education program in which courses concerning with how to self-rescue during earthquake happens are offered to ordinary ones, then more people could benefit from the knowledge and methods they learn from the progam and may even survive from a really happened earthquake, so the number of people who lose their lives in the earthquake will be lowered, which is easier to tackle with compared with the cases when there is no such program.

In all, immediate problems should be solved first, while the long-term problems with potency should never be igored if there is possibility to get them solved in advance.

dunno if this editon can be better?
thank u if u would like to give me any comments

fortitudesagUID: 139374

有回复才好，越详细越好，别人从你处学到东西，才会激发修改的热情。
可以互相暴露缺点，提高的才快。
努力！！你热爱生活，生活才会热爱你。

fortitudesagUID: 139374

我把你的两个贴并在一起了，下次最好发在一起，跟在后面，好让修改的朋友有个参考和对照。