Issue128 wallis点评，欢迎讨论

galaxysongUID: 152834

Issue 128
"It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. In reality, however, formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free."

There are claims for education to give freedom to the mind and the spirits while the existent formal education gives more restraint. What I am to discuss, however, is how to reach a balance between freedom and restraint on basis of knowledge of their interrelations.

A brief review of the phylogeny of education, which went along with that of human civilizations, can manifestly illustrate the trend of education for more intellectual and emotional liberty. Before Renaissance, broad education was a privilege of nobles, who were taught and then taught their children how to behave under loads of mannered and unnecessary formalities of their classes. A kid of working plebeian, as a prentice, just accepted limited and often insufficient trainings for skills of a single occupation, like a blacksmith. Revival of Letters introduced and later Industrialization fertilized the seeds of mass education. The ratio of illiteracy in society continually decreased and printed books rose to gain domination in education. Regrettably, the didactics in most schools unconsciously or consciously copied the method in most factories: students are molded into uniform cogs of the society. Recently, modern education advanced with the paces of New Economy and found the values of independent thinking and creativity, which are critical in booming IT fields. Students today are enjoying more freedom of mind than in any age before.

Few people can deny the utmost goal of education is to help students obtain intellectual and spiritual freedom in their lives by teaching and learning. Yet on the way toward this goal, in spite of the good will of most people, education has to restrain students' minds. Many schools fail to satisfy the demands of student for views and talks free from some authoritative supervision over them. Usually, it is a result of deficiencies in both hardware and software of these schools, including low growth of donations and thus limited budgets, teachers branded by outdated trainings and lack of edifying textbooks to choose. If analyzed more deeply, it can be found that behind all objective factors above rests a primary reason -- the conflicts between the goal aiming at the future and the status as a consequence of the past.

Why is education being prolonged in one's life and keeping a young man, who is old enough to work, still at school? Because if successfully educated, one can considerably increase the values of his or her career later by such amount that not only compensates but also exceeds what he or she could otherwise have earned and contributed by spending the time of that education on some work. In other words, education is a kind of investment on a student' body, intellect and mind, which can be returned as additional values in his or her future career. And future always welcomes people with creativity and open mind most. That certainly leads to the claim for freedom of students' minds and spirits.

Unfortunately, a school and the education it can provide were built in the past and are running at the present. Under the duty to teach students what are right while protect them from what are wrong, a responsible formal school has to adopt knowledge that has already been perfectly proved and verified. Often the school is disposed to rely on authorities and simply repeat old views and experiments. If attempting to empower students to enjoy some liberty of thoughts, the school will feel it difficult to keep things on their orbits. Facing the unpredictable future and taking risks to make decisions which will influence a student's life, stand beyond the functions and capacities of most schools and the formal education system.

The conflict between the goal and the status of education will never cease. Nevertheless, as an essential trend, education is bound to emancipate students' brains along with progress of society, which is ever demanding and supporting this process of liberation.

wallisUID: 111832

Issue 128
"It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. In reality, however, formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free."

There are claims for education to give freedom to the mind and the spirits while the existent formal education gives more restraint. What I am to discuss, however, is how to reach a balance between freedom and restraint on basis of knowledge of their interrelations.


A brief review of the phylogeny of education, which went along with that of human civilizations, can manifestly illustrate the trend of education for more intellectual and emotional liberty. Before Renaissance, broad education was a privilege of nobles, who were taught and then taught their children how to behave under loads of mannered and unnecessary formalities of their classes. A kid of working plebeian, as a prentice, just accepted limited and often insufficient trainings for skills of a single occupation, like a blacksmith. Revival of Letters introduced and later Industrialization fertilized the seeds of mass education. The ratio of illiteracy in society continually decreased and printed books rose to gain domination in education. Regrettably, the didactics in most schools unconsciously or consciously copied (almost) the (same)method (as)in most factories: students are molded into uniform cogs of the society. Recently, modern education advanced with the paces of New Economy and found the values of independent thinking and creativity, which are critical in booming IT fields. Students today are enjoying more freedom of mind than in any age before.(论述教育的形式越来越让人有自由的空间）

Few people can deny the utmost goal of education is to help students obtain intellectual and spiritual freedom（改为independent似乎好些） in their lives by teaching and learning. Yet on the way toward this goal, in spite of the good will of most people, education has to restrain students' minds. Many schools fail to satisfy the demands of student for views and talks free from some authoritative supervision over them. Usually, it is a result of deficiencies in both hardware and software of these schools, including low growth of donations and thus limited budgets, teachers branded by outdated trainings and lack of edifying textbooks to choose. If analyzed more deeply, it can be found that behind all objective factors above rests a primary reason -- the conflicts between the goal aiming at the future and the status as a consequence of the past. （面向未来的目标和由过去决定的现状之间的冲突）这个观点我觉得让人捉摸不透，最好能论述的standing on the firm ground那样。

Why is education being prolonged in one's life and keeping a young man, who is old enough to work, still at school? Because if successfully educated, one can considerably increase the values of his or her career later by such amount that not only compensates but also exceeds what he or she could otherwise have earned and contributed by spending the time of that education on some work. In other words, education is a kind of investment on a student' body, intellect and mind, which can be returned as additional values in his or her future career. And future always welcomes people with creativity and open mind most. That certainly leads to the claim for freedom of students' minds and spirits.（这段是说本科毕业和博士毕业谁得到的好处多一点，本科工作时间长但起点工资低（3000RMB/m），博士工作迟但起点工资高（9000RMB/m），一年顶三年，所以还是读博士合算。：）不知和论点有何联系？

Unfortunately, a school and the education it can provide were built in the past and are running at the present. Under the duty to teach students what are right while protect them from what are wrong, a responsible formal school has to adopt knowledge that has already been perfectly proved and verified. Often the school is disposed to rely on authorities and simply repeat old views and experiments. If attempting to empower students to enjoy some liberty of thoughts, the school will feel it difficult to keep things on their orbits.（我不认为给予学生自由空间后，学校会变成这样） Facing the unpredictable future and taking risks to make decisions which will influence a student's life, stand beyond the functions and capacities of most schools and the formal education system.但是学校给与学生自由的思想空间也不会taking risks to make decisions which will influence a student's life啊

The conflict between the goal and the status of education will never cease. Nevertheless, as an essential trend, education is bound to emancipate students' brains along with progress of society, which is ever demanding and supporting this process of liberation.

本文文笔很好，但觉得没有让人信服的论证过程。作者可能学文科的吧？

我觉得这样论证可能有说服力：
首先教育的任务是继承过去和拓展未来

继承过去是很重要的（人不可能长命百岁），因为我们不可盖空中楼阁 但是要继承就必须牺牲一些freedom和时间，但这可以通过改进教育手段来修正，甚至让继承学习前人的过程中充满freedom和创新 发现前人的不足 比如相对论就是对Newton的修正，没有Newton的三大定律 何来相对论？

重点在于 继承是一个vitality的任务，是必须做的
        现在教育出现的问题是由于教育手段的落后引起的，需要在继承中渗透freedom，这样才能达到教育的目标----继承，开拓。

galaxysongUID: 152834

这可不是学文科的问题哦。有兴趣可以看看我的数学建模竞赛的论文。
我在帖子的标题中说“表达上应该有进步吧 ”，正是因为我发现原来自己这次几乎没有考虑逻辑主线，把注意力集中在行文上了。论证不利是hardly inevitable的。
最近看了几篇关于怎样写好issue的帖子，很受启发，决定先注意基础练习，加强论证的逻辑性和coherence等。