[Manifest Destiny]寄托官方GRE八月组 8.14 AW作业-Issue 37

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Issue 37

Society should identify those children who have special talents and provide training for them at an early age to develop their talents.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

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加强限时~

Issue限时 45min

Submit Deadline 8.14 23:00
Revise Deadline 8.15  23:00

望大家严格遵守提交和修改时间

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作业以word文档的形式上传，直接交到帖子里。命名格式为 “Issue/Argument 题号 个人ID”。修改的作业，以回复互改同学的形式贴出来。

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这几天大家都比较劳累，请假的同学很多。这次就不分组了，大家写好了就交上来然后自由互改吧~

charlieyesUID: 3460289

“Society should identify those children who have special talents and provide training for them at an early age to develop their talents.”

正：能让天才少年了解更多专业领域知识，更早、更好地造福人类和社会
反：会造成心智不健全，可能会让人误入歧途；
反2（不可行性）：如何identify？就算可以identify，如何教育？
结论：无异于揠苗助长。最好可以让孩子自己选择。

llsss_1234UID: 2998447

charlieyes 发表于 2013-8-13 17:41
“Society should identify those children who have special talents and provide training for them at a ...

亲，我们两个户改吧

charlieyesUID: 3460289

llsss_1234 发表于 2013-8-15 23:40
亲，我们两个户改吧

个人感觉。。。

1.半个小时从构思到写作很难达到605个字
2.少量错词是可以允许的，但是本文3-4段出现大量错词
3.大部分的事例是中国的，感觉不是很合适
4.模板套路化，现在的“GRE北美范文”已经成为了反例批判教材，本作与其有相似之处
（比如开头的陈述+承认+转折，和结尾的“to sum up”）

优点是：
1.思路和论证过程清晰
2.举例恰当，支持论点
3.语言连贯且有多样性

实在是评价的不够专业。。。

llsss_1234UID: 2998447

charlieyes 发表于 2013-8-17 15:26
个人感觉。。。

1.半个小时从构思到写作很难达到605个字

一定要用名人的外国的例子？？？

llsss_1234UID: 2998447

charlieyes 发表于 2013-8-17 15:26
个人感觉。。。

1.半个小时从构思到写作很难达到605个字

“Society should identify those children who have special talents and provide training for them at an early age to develop their talents.”

正：能让天才少年了解更多专业领域知识，更早、更好地造福人类和社会
反：会造成心智不健全，可能会让人误入歧途；
反2（不可行性）：如何identify？就算可以identify，如何教育？
结论：无异于揠苗助长。最好可以让孩子自己选择。

The purpose of statement seems to be feasible, but people could not ignore some potential negative results. Though it is true that develop children’s talent at early age could bring them a deeper sight of specialize fields, what is probable is that at the same time, something basically of a human being, of a citizen might lose. Thus, the statement might lead to an opposite result.

Identifying talents of some children, and training them at an early age surely could maximize the research time on their specific field[fields]. Then those children’s talents would be well developed, so[个人感觉because更加恰当] they could make their contributions earlier, or more significant to the society and human being. People may prefer Mozart, who wrote his most talented melody before his 10th birthday. Despite Mozart, nowadays, more and more “talented classes” are hold at numerous of institutes and schools. In those institutes and schools, children are allocated to several different fields’ classes according to their interests or talents. That may make a profit of their “talent careers,” but also may ruin their children life by shorten playing time.[个人认为写一两个长难句有助于你的文章增加色彩]

Childhood is the most precious period during one’s whole life. One’s characteristics, attitudes and thoughts are generated during this period. If the time of talent training is much more than that of playing and learning basic society knowledge, children would be lack of their fundamental concept of what is good, what is bad[个人感觉这里不是很严谨，一般的明辨是非能力还是有的吧], what is virtue and what is criminal. Basic education is more important than interest education[Not for all,比如有些从小学艺术类的]. Supposing that there is someone[Someone是不是比某个中国的例子更加高明啊，求突破], who received his talent training of technology at an early life time, but without enough moral consciousness, he uses his technology talent to destroy houses, polluting environments, and hurting people. He undoubtedly is the failure of talent training. So it is improbably to provide too much talent education before adolescent.

Moreover, even if providing interest class would not be so harmful to human being or society, how do people execute this mission effectively? How to identify the children who have “special talents?” People can’t directly rush into hospitals to find some boys named “Harry Potter,” people also can’t find some new-born baby whose ancestor is Albert Einstein.[good] There is a traditional rite in China[亲，你怎么用的也是中国的例子啊], child[复数，因为后面是parents，] at his or her 1st birthday, parents shows [show]the child[同上] some different things like money (which means the baby would be a rich person), a book (means a teacher), a car (means a driver), and so on. This rite has no relationship with talent. Even if some talents are identified, how do teachers train them? That would be another complicated thing.

Farmers can’t pull grasses out to hope them grows faster, if fact this kind of “good hope” would only lead to bad results. Children are the same, too early and too much talent training, might also cause opposite consequences. [这让我想起了伤仲永的例子，显然ETS又不知道了]The best way is both spare [语法错误]time and interest classes are free for children to make their own decision.
你写的很好，不是北美范文的套路，呵呵，有一点的小的语法错误，逻辑上更严密就好了。不过我有个疑问，someone的例子是不是比某个具体的中国的例子更好？还是举例都要举外国的例子？？？