【独立写作】daydreamer_Abby的作业贴

daydreamer_meUID：3400186

doughnutson 发表于 2013-8-23 16:58
lz很强悍啊……加油加油！！

谢谢D君（不知道是不是君，就以此称呼吧）的鼓励！！
1，congested into the flourishing county-forests是说中国跻身进入繁荣发展国家（我把国家比成森林==），然后这段我也觉得有点衔接不上，当国家繁荣了，人们就会想着给孩子上培训班（艺术类），我想后面加个目的可能好些。。Since China has congested into the flourishing country-forests,  more and more Chinese begin to foster their offspring with diversities of skills and aesthetics, painting and music in particular, hoping their children can follow the rapid pace with the world. 这样ok吗？？
2，查了下wonder的用法，D君说得果然有理，这个词用得确实不是很好。。改成think好了，本来是想着用wonder还有点探索未知的感觉，因为if ...这句是假设，probably这句是假设后的结果==所以就改成：Sometimes my parents think if i didn't touch guitar at that time, probably i equip myself with nothing but given books.
3,那个with确实是我错了，改成gain吧
4，呼应问题，D君说得太有理！！！我这例子不到位，你补上的句子就听适合的了~
5，why not表示为什么不呢。。不局限在第二人称（eg：Why not ask someone else? ），不过我查了查发现应该是why not do而不是doing我又华丽丽地粗错了！！
D君修改得好细致！！好多个我没发现的错误都被暴露了~逻辑很强啊！！佩服！

awddaUID：3346143

改好了，关于楼主提的vast majority我专门查了下Webster，有这样的例句a vast majority of 表绝大多数

doughnutsonUID：3317092

daydreamer_me 发表于 2013-8-23 17:20
谢谢D君（不知道是不是君，就以此称呼吧）的鼓励！！
1，congested into the flourishing count ...

我不是君……我是酱……
why not 我是这样理解的哈，这个我们以前在学校学的是提建议对吧，所以我说第二人称的意思是，应该是对对方提意见对吧，所以……
你的文章里面是：why not learn it when people are still children? 我觉得这个是给第三个人提意见的
我的感觉是： why not learn it when you are still children?
当然，在这个文章里面不可能这样改啦，因为context的关系……

啊啊啊我可能又开始钻牛角尖了~不能自拔……

daydreamer_meUID：3400186

doughnutson 发表于 2013-8-23 19:16
我不是君……我是酱……
why not 我是这样理解的哈，这个我们以前在学校学的是提建议对吧，所以我说第二 ...

抱歉。。D酱
我觉得你说得有道理。。。why not=why don't you ....
长见识了！！！一直都是这么用的==D酱好高深！！

daydreamer_meUID：3400186

awdda 发表于 2013-8-23 18:59
改好了，关于楼主提的vast majority我专门查了下Webster，有这样的例句a vast majority of 表绝大多数

非常感谢~
1，math, for example,这个用法我是做阅读的时候看过的，然后阅读太多了，也不知道是那篇看到了==所以不能搬上来真系抱歉。。。
2，And I can disseminate beautiful melodies now  for merely daily three-hour practice at that time
这里的now是说我现在可以巴拉巴拉，at that time是for下的原因，那时候三个小时的练习。。。
3，然后learning is the prerequisite of owing ，awdda没说我还真没发现，我是想表达学习是获得的先决条件啦，应该是owning。。。好细心！！！
4, a vast majority of ，长见识了~又学了个词~~如果awdda对于我给你的修改有异议的话欢迎找我探讨，说不定是我改错了呢~

blicanUID：3310855

明天考试了，给你送来祝福，加油~~~

daydreamer_meUID：3400186

blican 发表于 2013-8-24 20:18
明天考试了，给你送来祝福，加油~~~

B君好好人！！
第一次考略紧张。。

悬念UID：3463636

文章我已经尽力修改！

大白菜蘑菇UID：3452105

改好了，也谢谢你的修改。

zshandrenUID：3145991

改好了

daydreamer_meUID：3400186

zshandren 发表于 2013-9-4 23:40
改好了

HI,是不是传错文件啦？

zshandrenUID：3145991

daydreamer_me 发表于 2013-9-4 23:42
HI,是不是传错文件啦？

sorry, 晚上回去再给你传

男孩UID：3409641

楼猪，word文档版本较低，打开不了9月4号的能不能直接贴给我？

daydreamer_meUID：3400186

男孩 发表于 2013-9-5 12:00
楼猪，word文档版本较低，打开不了9月4号的能不能直接贴给我？

麻烦你了
Your job has greater happiness than your social life.

Marvelous as it looks at first sight, the sensation of happy varies from job and social life. Some people are eager to work rather than just stay at home looking after children, while some choose to escape from working, due to their different understanding of happiness. In my opinion, I, undoubtedly, reckon the latter one, social life, can bring me more and deeper sense of happiness.

First and foremost, the statement itself underlies a serious mistake-the very purpose of working, no matter what kind of job it is, is to better enjoy the mystery life. Common sense informs me that working can produce fruitful outcome, thus people have the fundamental material-money- to pursue the life that they have dreamed since childhoods. However, everyday they come back home with weary faces, walking languidly, as well as the body shouldered stress. Is it happiness? Absolutely not. People neglect the fact: people endeavor to earn as much money as possible, sacrificing their leisure time, is just working for living, not enjoying life. People, who work hard every day, always think that they are on the way toward happiness, yet they don’t realize that happiness is not the terminal of our life, instead it along with our whole life way. Consequently, what they derive from hard working is tiredness, rather than happiness.

In addition, social life can provide us a sense of relaxation. Chatting, shopping, traveling, all of these social activities can keep people far away from pressure, annoyance, and trouble. As a result, social life is the way of enjoying happiness. Travelling can serve as the most convincing example. When taking a trip, we can meet different people from different cultures, can feel the beauty of nature: the birds singing, tides crashing into rocks, see bird capturing fish, and the list goes on. Everything we feel during the journey can leave us the feeling: relaxation. Once our body relaxed, our mind becomes tranquil, our heart have the chance to experience what is real meaningful. Recalling back, scenes we see, voices we hear, objects we touch, all of these make us have the feeling that we are living in a wonderful world, and we are the happy ones. Happiness is quite simple. We can easily get the sensation though social life, in that we are away from troublesome issues, and become more relaxed.

Admittedly, working can equip us with bigger houses, brand ornaments, but essentially, it presses us too much. Although we can feel happy during work time, it's as little as a piece of paper in a thick dictionary. I am not denying that we can gain happiness though jobs, but when compared to social life, the latter one is much worthy.

Therefore, social life can make us relief from pressure, and better enjoy happiness in our daily life. Happiness is everywhere, and can be found every time. The key of enjoying is a relaxed, tranquil and thankful heart.   

zshandrenUID：3145991

daydreamer_me 发表于 2013-9-4 23:42
HI,是不是传错文件啦？

我重新传了一份，请查收。