【8.27】
Task 1
bone fracture on the...? 既然说出来了就别半路扔了,哪怕编一个地方也可以
开始用的he,后来又用her,最后又him了……be careful
内容很好
Task 2
when I was a child of ten years old 太罗嗦了,直接when I was ten years old
另外,spent more than 3 hours "a day" playing games on the cell phone or "sending" text messages
8.28
task1 首先,我觉得你的内容说的太空了,cooking class怎么帮助你更healthy了。其次,前面有很多废话,前30秒你基本上都在复述题目。还有就是有一些错误,比如school has makes a good decision, what I has learned.
task2
主题确立的比较好,balance between work and family life。后面的阐述也很不错。从两个方面来说跑,工作太多怎么样,和家人时间太多怎么样。
但是,有一些语法错误,spend time of stay with their family, they also has...
task1我是先强调了health的重要性,然后再说COOKING CLASS怎么提高health(1.make plan for meals 2.avoid eating poisonous food or absorbing too much fat),为什么说太空了?说health的重要性应该不算复述题目吧?