issue52 Education & Social harmony----觉得题目比较难，请各位多指点，感

poohUID: 146994

"Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony."


The author contends that since education encourages students to question and criticize, it  does little to promote social harmony. However , on the analysis of the consequence of encouragement of education on questioning and criticizing and the factor lead to social harmony ,as well as the relationship of the two , I strongly disagree with the author.

To begin  with, a full insight into this argument must answer the question : what is social harmony. Does social harmony means in a culture everyone has the same value system , the same religion , the same attitude towards the same things?  If that is the criterion , then you’ll find that  America must be the  most disordered society with a mixture of diverse people that bring with them along all kinds of culture, value system, religions, while The Third Empire of Germany  under the tyrannical rule of Hitler is qualified to be a harmonious society. However, I absolutely do not think so .On the contrary, the reverse is true.

Firstly , the harmony of society should be a natural one that forms gradually and spontaneously without any oppression from the force out of it. Actually, it is the very spirit of question and criticize to participate into the course of the formation of social harmony that finally leads to a social harmony , while devious the course may seem to be.  To go on with the examples of the above , though America is described  as a metling pot that consists of all kinds of cultures , there is a course of assimilating values and cultures and then  coming into being the characteristic nature-- such as pursuit for freedom , belief in democracy and humanity --naturally and spontaneously during the immigration surges. Undoubtedly the result of the assimilation is the social harmony . However, when one further examine the course, one could find that at the first stage of the formation of social harmony,  all kinds of doubts existed and people were skeptical.  These doubts developed in the discussion , then toppled ,and finally reached an agreement of the society naturally and spontaneously .That is quite different from the apparent obedience  under the press of tyrant like  The Third Empire of Germany under the rule of Hitler that numbed its populace to arrive at  a seemingly social harmony , while it could not prevent from the undercurrents of people 's dissatisfaction and eventually resulting in being overturned .   After the analysis of the examples above, it is not hard to conclude that questioning and criticizing play an important and conducive role in the formation of social harmony in a natural and spontaneous way.

Secondly, social harmony has to be formed during the development of society itself ,while one purpose of the encouragement to question and criticize of education is for the seek of truth and knowledge which definitely contribute to the progress of the society and human beings. It is especially obvious when related to science subjects.  The spirit of questioning and criticizing is a must quality that a science students must be equipped with , because without this spirit there would be no progress and men only step in the origin like a backwater. For instance, but for Copernicus’s   challenge to classical principle that the earth is flat and propounded the earth is like a ball,  there would be no Great Geographical Found in history , therefore no development of North America , which undoubtedly hold back the pace of human beings to step forward.  To sum up, social harmony should not be the one without progress but the one boosted with the new questions appearing and being solved and arriving at a higher balance , that is , a higher social harmony. therefore, that education encourage students to question and criticize could benefit the social harmony.

To conclude,  that education encourages students to question and criticize conduces to the formation of the social harmony and thrusts society into another advanced harmony by means of promotion of the progress of it.

so猫UID: 148633

"Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony."


The author contends that since education encourages students to question and criticize, it does little to promote social harmony. （照抄题目一个字不改不好哦~~~）However , on the analysis of the consequence of encouragement of education on questioning and criticizing and the factor lead（leading） to social harmony ,as well as the relationship of the two, I strongly disagree with the author.

To begin with, a full insight into this argument must（我个人不是很喜欢must这个词 我宁愿用should） answer the question : what is social harmony.（用冒号 漂亮~~~） Does social harmony means（疑问句后面动词用原形哦 mean） in a culture everyone has the same value system , the same religion , （and）the same attitude towards the same things? If that is the criterion , then you’ll（you少用哦~~~） find that America must be the most disordered society with a mixture of diverse people that bring with them along all kinds of culture, value system, religions, while The Third Empire of Germany under the tyrannical rule of Hitler is qualified to be a harmonious society. However, I absolutely do not think so .On the contrary, the reverse is true. 这句话也太简单了吧 毕竟这个是文章的中心呀 多写一点点嘛 呵呵~~

Firstly , the harmony of society should be a natural one that forms gradually and spontaneously without any oppression from the force out of it（为什么不直接说outside force呢 简洁好多呢）. Actually, it is the very spirit of question and criticize（动词和名词不可以并列的） to participate into the course of the formation of social harmony that finally leads to a social harmony , while devious the course may seem to be. To go on with the examples of the above , though America is described as a metal pot that consists of all kinds of cultures , there is a course of assimilating values and cultures and then coming into being the characteristic nature-- such as pursuit for freedom , belief in democracy and humanity --naturally and spontaneously during the immigration surges. Undoubtedly the result of the assimilation is the social harmony . However, when one further examine（s） the course, one could find that at the first stage of the formation of social harmony, all kinds of doubts existed and people were skeptical. These doubts developed in the discussion , then toppled ,and finally reached an agreement of the society naturally and spontaneously .That is quite different from the apparent obedience under the press of tyrant like The Third Empire of Germany under the rule of Hitler that numbed its populace to arrive at a seemingly social harmony , while it could not prevent from the undercurrents of people 's dissatisfaction and eventually resulting in being overturned . After the analysis of the examples above, it is not hard to conclude that questioning and criticizing play an important and conducive role in the formation of social harmony in a natural and spontaneous way.
这一段说什么是真正的social harmony和它的形成过程~~~~~~~
思路很清晰 不过也太长了呀~~~~~
能不能分两段 这个我也没有把握 看其他的人怎么认为~~~

Secondly, social harmony has to be formed during the development of society itself ,while one purpose of the encouragement to question and criticize of education is for the seek of truth and knowledge which definitely contribute to the progress of the society and human beings. It is especially obvious when related to science subjects. The spirit of questioning and criticizing is a must quality that a science students（a science students？） must be equipped with , because without this spirit there would be no progress（也没那么绝对吧~~用little好了） and men only step in the origin（如果你是指原点 那应该是on吧） like a backwater. For instance, but for Copernicus’s challenge to classical principle that the earth is flat and propounded the earth is like a ball, there would be no Great Geographical Found in history , therefore no development of North America , which undoubtedly hold back the pace of human beings to step forward. （这些例子很生动 但是 这和social harmony有多大的关系呢？！）To sum up, social harmony should not be the one without progress but the one boosted with the new questions appearing and being solved and arriving at a higher balance , that is , a higher social harmony. therefore, that education encourage students to question and criticize could benefit the social harmony.
这一段说social harmony的目的~~~

To conclude, that education encourages students to question and criticize conduces to the formation of the social harmony and thrusts society into another advanced harmony by means of promotion of the progress of it.
结论句很漂亮~~~~~
楼主加油~~~~~~~~
楼主的字数写的好多哦~~~~呵呵 快到700了哦~~~~
印象中好象有一篇范文就是这个题目 楼主去看看哦~~~~~~

poohUID: 146994

谢谢so 猫mm的建议，你说我思路清晰实在不敢当，其实有的时候自己也糊里糊涂，而且昨天读了imong的关于coherence 的文章，发现这的确是自己的弱点所在，本文的例子，正像你指出的，有的连惯性和相关性不是很强，或者是因为缺少过渡性的引导句子，没有逐步展开所以显得突兀。另外，语法错误很多，不好意思了。我会努力改正的。