请大家看下这篇雅思写作，求拍。

iamastudent722UID: 3455554

International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

以下是写作
Nowadays, it is not uncommon to find people travel beyond borders much more than before. Some people consider the prosperous of travel industry positively boost the economy of the destination country, while others argue that  it is unnecessary and unusual to mainly rely on the tourism industry to develop the country and the negative impacts are manifest. In my opinion, the international travel have more pros than cons.
Generally speaking, travelling, as an important activity, can not only broaden travelers’ horizon , also enrich one’s experience and knowledge. By travelling frequently, individuals gain exposure to the other countries’ culture and enjoy the beautiful natural viewpoints;  they also begin to understand the way local people communicate.
Moreover, travelling industry plays an important role in boosting local economy and a lot other industries benefit greatly, such as: hotel, restaurant, casino and air industry. For example, my home country, Singapore as a travel destination, attract large amount of tourists every year. And various industries gain profit as well.
However, this is not to say that travel industry only bring positive impact on the travel destination. Some professionals argue against tourism pointed out too much travel my negatively impact on the local environment. Despite the fact that local economy develop quickly in terms of  profit gaining and service income increasing, the overpopulation and environmental pollution my seriously affect the destination’s sustainable development. But overall, with the revenue gained from tourism, government can better guide and supervise the local and foreign people. Such problems could be overcome as well.

I think strike a balance between benefits and threaten is necessary. Local people should focus on protecting the environment of their homeland and  tourists from other nations should do their part to contribute to the environment of travel destinations while enjoying the beautiful view.

喵呜~UID: 3339380

来参加写作互改小组吧 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1629443-1-1.html

由于如果老是帮版友改文章的话  版主也会忙不过来的  所以提倡大家互改  希望谅解

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

粗看了一下写得特别像托福写作啊，楼主第一段就有若干语法错误。最好还是经常练经常改，试试论坛的写作小组吧