Issue183 第一篇，大家帮忙看看吧，自己觉得比较弱智……

kingweckUID: 144209

尽量限时完成的，就是说可能超了一点……

"As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more complex and more mysterious."

With the developments of science and technology, we acquire more knowledge which makes us to understand the world better. However, while some aspects of things become clearer, we are facing even more problems and mysteries in other aspects of them. It's not strange because the world is complicated than we think and we are just a tiny part of it. When peering more deeply into the world, people surely will be both clearer and more doubtful.
       
    On one hand, more knowledge does make us know and comprehend what we have not yet fully understood. For example, the discovery of double spiral structure of DNA shows the clear picture of genetics to us. As a result, many unsolved problems in life science have their answers. We can even say that the history of science is just the process from more knowledge to more facts. Moreover, not only in science, in arts, music, and many other realms of human culture, more knowledge and experience always bring us great fortune.

    On the other hand, everything is complex, even a little sand. What we can get is always less than what we don't know. The unknown world looks like an ocean, and the knowledge we gained is just a small island in it. When we get more, correspondingly the island becomes larger, thus we'll face more unknown facts of the world. A famous scientist once said "what you can get is just a corn of an iceberg". As in physics, from Newton's mechanism to the theory of relativity then to the quantum mechanics, every progress not only solves various problems but also brings us more questions.
   
    Additionally, it's not paradoxical that we become both clear and doubtful. What we understand is part of the truth while the comprehension shows us more aspects of it. For example, also in physics, the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics presents more problems concerning the unite of them while they solves a plenty of difficult problems in the atomic world. However, we should not to stop exploring due to the fact that we cannot know it all. Without the desire of discovery, human's history is doomed to go to its end.

To sum up, the world is complex with mysteries for us to explain. We are bound to face more questions when going forward. The reality makes us not able to comprehend things completely, but as soon as when we are exploring, we can know them better.

meloncollieUID: 138374

With the development(s) of science and technology, we acquire more knowledge which makes (用enable) us to understand the world better. However, while some aspects of things（觉得用our world更好）become clearer, we are facing even more problems and mysteries in (the) other aspects of them（of them 不要） It's(记住一定要用It is，连写很不标准，千万要避免) not strange because(that) the world is (more) complicated than we think(have thought) and we are  just a tiny part of it. When peering more deeply(此处用deeper，形容抽象的副词用deep不用 deeply) into the world, people surely will be both clearer and more doubtful.(首段后两句有点 问题，首先意思不清，再者表达上还欠火候。首段写作的一大忌讳便是写的模模糊糊，让读者一头雾水，这里你写的句子就让我看了半天还不知道你要论述些什么。本人建议：一开头尽量直接些、开门见山，特别是对于刚刚起步阶段者)

On (the) one hand, more knowledge does make us know and comprehend what we have not yet fully understood. For example, the discovery of double spiral structure of DNA shows the(用a ，“the”不能随便用) clear picture of genetics to us. As a result, many unsolved problems in  life science still  have their answers (觉得应该用wait to be answered). We can (这里的开头改 用别动语态比较符合英语写作风格) even say that the history of science is just the process  
from more knowledge to more facts(本人觉得这句句子的意思没有合理表达). Moreover, not only in  (加the domain of) science, (勿漏but also in those of) arts, music, and many other realms of  human culture, more knowledge and experience always bring us great fortune.(此外对于“As a  result, many unsolved problems in life science still have their answers”你觉得这句是摆在该 段最后承上启下好，还是应该放在中间使人觉得有点莫名其妙？)

On the other hand, everything is complex, even a little sand. What we can get is always less than what we don't know(这两句写的有些问题，不知你是现编的还是哪里看来的，总觉得表达的 不标准，不要随意造句). The unknown world looks like an ocean, and the knowledge we gained is just a small island in it. When we get more, correspondingly(跟,) the island  becomes larger, thus we'll face more unknown facts of the world.(这个比喻深刻，值得肯定) A  famous scientist(最好有个人名，不然就用one famous saying goes that代替) once said "what you can get is just a corn of an iceberg". As in physics, from Newton's mechanism to the theory of relativity then to the quantum mechanics, every(本人个人认为觉得each更好)  progress not only solves various problems but also brings us(用bring about好) more  questions.

Additionally, it's(it is) not paradoxical that we become both clear and doubtful. What we  (have) understand is (加simply) part of the truth while the comprehension shows us more  aspects of it. For example, also in physics, the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics  presents (及物动词后要us) more problems concerning the unite(???这里是不是"整体"intergrity的 意思) of them while they solves(delete "s") a plenty of difficult problems in the atomic  world. However, we should(用we are not expected to好) not to stop exploring (加just) due to  the fact that we cannot know it all(这句意思不清). Without the desire of discovery, human's  history is doomed to go to its end.

To sum up, the world is complex with(用be teemed with) mysteries for us to explain(mysteries 后应跟that从句). We are bound to face more questions when going forward. The reality makes  us not able to comprehend things completely, but as soon as when we are exploring, we can  know them better.

尝试就是胜利，刚开始错误多不奇怪，文章后面部分可能是时间紧没写充分。本人的总结与建议：对于这个topic，其实不难，就如你在第三段已经涉及的那个ocean与island的精彩例子，我们对于世界的认识随着知识面的不断扩张亦愈加膨胀、深刻，虽然摆在面前的问题好像越来越多，但我们认识的层次已经上到了新的台阶，你此处的论述好像只是点到即止，没有沿着这个思路继续论述，反在结尾给人一种世界"不可知论"的模糊感觉。刚开始写要多模仿多借鉴，多看看相关范文或者好的材料(如新概念4)不要蒙着脑袋自顾自地写，许多你想要表达地内容往往别人(老美)可能看不懂，再者不标准地表达会使你的分数档次下降。还有，一开始不用计时间，可以超时慢慢写，注重的使培养写G文的感觉

kingweckUID: 144209

非常感谢你的仔细点评，我都认真拜读！特别是最后的总结里提到的问题我要努力克服。
    说实话我开始没有想到有这么多问题，你的点评很有道理，许多小的方面我都没考虑到。一开始就限时是怕考前来不急练速度。我也总感觉自己说一个问题总说不透彻，看来以后先要多看一些范文。但是我还是感觉范文良莠不齐，真正要找好的也很费力。
    还有一条就是，不要太相信word的语法错误检查，haha……
    最后再次感谢meloncollie的帮助！！！