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Another essay
Learning is a process, which occurs when we come across situations, and views, which we are not aware of and which are not in tandem with what we know till then. This situation is created when we meet people whose views do not agree with our own and we come across a different point of view. This is the situation that makes us explore the topic more to prove our point. This makes us learn and enhances our knowledge. Disagreement does cause stress but it is this stress, which inspires us to investigate, and enhances rather than inhibits the learning process.
The civilization would not have advanced to the present level if people through generations had thought the same on all topics. Every time a new theory was formulated, the reason was that the views of an individual did not agree with the formulated explanations he had been given to by the society at that time. People did try to inhibit a new line of thought and oppose it but it was always this opposition that inspired the individual more to prove his point. The atom was believed to be indivisible and had it not been for someone who did not agree with this, the nuclear power would not have been developed till now. The earth was thought to be flat and it was the disagreement of views between people that made them discover earth was spherical and provide an explanation for the rotation and revolution. All these contradictions with the existing views increased our knowledge and made us learn more.
Disagreement inspires us to learn more. If all of us start agreeing with the existing theories and with each other, there will be no inspiration for us to explore further. In our present generation there are people who believe that life is possible outside of earth and it is driving them to investigate on their line of thought. Their investigations might make it possible for people to live on other planets. There are people who believe AIDS is curable and it is making search for that cure. There are people in disputing countries who believe that there can be peace and it is their belief that has been avoiding war. Though terrorism is widespread and infective today, there are people who think it can be removed and that is making them work towards it.
A child learns only what his parents know till he goes to school. There he comes across other children who know different things than him as parents of those children have a different point of view. This makes him question his own knowledge and he struggles to find answers to those questions and learns. Slowly he develops the ability to read and understand. He reads a lot of things, which differ, from his lifestyle and his community. He formulates new thoughts, new questions and the process of learning goes on. In every step of our development from a child to an adult we are given answers that satisfy us for the time being, and if we do not come across people who contradict our views we do not learn anymore.
Stress caused by disagreement is the factor, which provides inspiration to enhance our learning. In conclusion I would like to reiterate that we learn much more from people whose views contradict our own rather than from people whose views we share.
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Hi Nisha
here's what I think:
quote:
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Originally posted by nisha_r
Learning is a process, which occurs when we come across situations, and views, which we are not aware of and which are not in tandem with what we know till then.
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Nisha, this sentence is too long. you need to use pronouns very carefully. It's better to cut your sentences if they're tending to be too long.
quote:
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This situation is created when we meet people whose views do not agree with our own and we come across a different point of view. This is the situation that makes us explore the topic more to prove our point. This makes us learn and enhances our knowledge. Disagreement does cause stress but it is this stress, which inspires us to investigate, and enhances rather than inhibits the learning process.
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here again, usage of "this" - do restrict it. Your sentences are kinda complicated. They are not taking me to the point immediately. This'll require some practice, but you _must_ do it. your intention here is to get your point across to the reader the moment he/she reads it. And the moment it is read, the reader must think "ah! so this is her approach".
Also, the first para, the intro, must clearly state your stance. it's not a rule, but it's the best way to show the way to the reader.
The best part is that you have good points, and good examples to support them.
But again, you need to organize your essay better. Also, the conclusion must first state your stance emphatically. then summarize your essay points and then say something really positive about your stance.
quote:
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Stress caused by disagreement is the factor, which provides inspiration to enhance our learning.
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this should not be the starting of your conclusion. also, it doens't make much sense. Please plan your essays in such a way that you have time to read them, and read them as a reader.
Also, you must sparingly use words liek "I", "us", "our" etc. use them when you're giving your stance. use them, also, when your giving persoanl experiences. but other than that, make the essay look more like an academic paper.
I would say that the test taker must plan to finsih the essay writing part in 40 minutes and not 45 minute, since it's certainly going to take some time deciding which topic to write on. And then one needs to wait atleast 5 secons before the laswt reading, so that you'll get the feeling that you're reading this essay for the first time. Also, make sure that there are atleast 10 seconds after you finsih with the whole thing. It'll make you more confident that you ahve finished it in time.
I hope you didn't mind my frank opinion. I only want to help...
hope all this helps....
-vemvin |
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