issue102 请多指教！

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Issue102.  For better or worse, education is a process that involves revising the ideas, beliefs, and values people held in the past.

People may have different ideas about the issue that whether the process of education involves modification of the ideas, beliefs, and values of the past. Through careful and objective analysis, I quite agree with the author's position that education is always accompanied by the improvement of previous ideas, beliefs and values. I will gradually show my evidence in the following discussion.

In the first place, education makes it possible that things like culture and technology of our society can be inherited and improved by our posterity. We can see the reasonability of my standpoint by comparing a newly born child to a piece of blank paper. The child is born with no idea of the whole world, just like a paper with nothing on it. As it grows up, receiving some education, the "paper" turns out to have some words on it. If he is given enough education, the "paper" will contain not only the direct and simple impression of the circumstance, but also the culture of the society and certain kinds of technological skills, which is much more advanced in some way. As the accumulation of knowledge, the child will begin to have his own idea about the things he knows, instead of just accepting the information passively, and his knowledge endows him with the ability to find the problem and then solve it.

In the second place, education aims to promote the development of our society, in which revision of the ideas, beliefs, and values is indispensable. In the age of the bombardment of information and technology, our society is changing in an unprecedentedly rapid speed. The task of current education is to provide enough high-qualified young men and women to meet the ever-increasing need of our time. Consequently, education should place more emphasis on the cultivation of the students' creativity and originality, which is treasured most in our fast changing time. These two qualities allow us to find the present problem and then successfully eliminate it, serving as the key of the advancement of human society.

Furthermore, many far-reaching discoveries or inventions are just carried out by the revision of the former ideas. We need to look no further than the discoveries of the theory of free fall to seek the truth. Thousand years ago, a widely worshiped scholar Aristotle proposed that different objects fall at different speed according to their weights, and his theory was accepted immediately by the multitude for his authoritativeness. However, another scientist, Galileo continued his researches instead of accepting Aristotle’s idea credulously. Finally, he managed to prove that everything falls at the same speed, regardless of its weight, which constitutes the famous law of free fall. Therefore, education, serving as the business of cultivating future, scientists, engineers or political leaders, cannot be separated from the revision of former ideas.

To sum up, one of the impetuses of our social progress is the revision of previous ideas, beliefs, and values. Education, as a business of crucial impact on the development of the humankind, certainly involves the ideas, beliefs, and values people held in the past to fulfill the need of our age.

这是小弟写的第二篇issue，感觉还是很别扭，无论是结构，还是词语搭配，请各位高手狠批，不胜感激！

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People may have different ideas about the issue that whether the process of education involves modification of the ideas, beliefs, and values of the past. Through careful and objective analysis, I quite agree with the author's position that education is always accompanied by the improvement of previous ideas, beliefs and values. I will gradually(这个词不妥) show my evidence in the following discussion.

In the first place, education makes it possible that things like culture and technology of our society can be inherited and improved by our posterity. We can see the reasonability of my standpoint by comparing a newly born child to a piece of blank paper（应是a bland piece of paper）. The child is born with no idea of the whole world, just like a paper with nothing on it. As it grows up, receiving some education, the "paper" turns out to have some words on it. If he is given enough education, the "paper" will contain not only the direct and simple impression of the circumstance, but also the culture of the society and certain kinds of technological skills, which is much more advanced in some way. As the accumulation of knowledge, the child will begin to have（用develop更好） his own idea about the things he knows, instead of just accepting the information passively, and his knowledge endows him with the ability to find the problem and then solve it.

In the second place, education aims to promote the development of our society, in which revision of the ideas, beliefs, and values is（用了三个词，虽然都是抽象名词，也应该用are，而非is了） indispensable. In the age of the bombardment of information and technology, our society is changing in an unprecedentedly rapid speed. The task of current education is to provide enough high-qualified young men and women to meet the ever-increasing need of our time. Consequently, education should place more emphasis on the cultivation of the students' creativity and originality, which is treasured most in our fast changing time. These two qualities allow us to find the present problem and then successfully eliminate it, serving as the key of the advancement of human society.
这段的论证感觉有些偏离主题。因为ideas, beliefs, and values这些更多的指的是精神层面的，心灵上的。而不是 单单指科学技术知识。

Furthermore, many far-reaching discoveries or inventions are just carried out by the revision of the former ideas. We need to look no further than the discoveries of the theory of free fall to seek the truth. Thousand years ago, a widely worshiped scholar Aristotle proposed that different objects fall at different speed according to their weights, and his theory was accepted immediately by the multitude for his authoritativeness. However, another scientist, Galileo continued his researches instead of accepting Aristotle’s idea credulously. Finally, he managed to prove that everything falls at the same speed, regardless of its weight, which constitutes the famous law of free fall. 家里略和亚里士多德的例子，必须配以“教育”才能有说服力。但是如何证明是因为更多的教育才使家里略看到了真理呢？这里就缺乏联系了。Therefore, education, serving as the business of cultivating future, scientists, engineers or political leaders, cannot be separated from the revision of former ideas. 对这段的评价基本上同上一段。你对教育的定义过分偏重普通的知识和技术了。如果真要这样写，那也要在文章开头给题目里的ideas, beliefs, and values下个定义，把ideas定义为你如上所写的内容。

To sum up, one of the impetuses of our social progress is the revision of previous ideas, beliefs, and values. Education, as a business of crucial impact on the development of the humankind, certainly involves the ideas, beliefs, and values people held in the past to fulfill the need of our age.

语言还不错，没有大错误，当然有些地方还不够纯熟，表达有点别扭，不过基本不影响你表达意思。
思维的问题如上所述。

建议你看看精华区的范文，分析他们是怎么说理的。还有这篇文章里讲的思路，非常值得学习。https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... =%BD%CC%C2%DF%BC%AD


你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照置顶的帖子。


希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。尤其是提点结构上和想法上的建议。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！

caleUID: 150437

谢谢了，我会加油改别人的文章的，以后小弟的文章还请多多关照！