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[优秀习作] ISSUE238 恳请高手指正:) [复制链接]

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Leo狮子座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2004-2-3 18:32:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
238. "Conformity almost always leads to a deadening of individual creativity and energy."


Conformity, once hailed as a necessary means to bring about unity, has now lead to a deadening of individual creativity and energy.

Conformity tends to stifle the curiosity of people, thus blocking the way to discoveries and inventions in academic fields. A survey conducted by Beijing Review in June, 2003, arouses people's attention. According to the survey, of the 3700 middle-school students in China and the U.S. respectively, the average inventions of an American student per year is 3.41 while the average inventions of a Chinese students is only 0.67.The striking difference of the students' creativity of the two countries is due to the different education system in China and America. For Chinese students, to get a good grade in the exam is the most important thing, therefore, they form the habit of conformity to both the textbooks and their teachers but lacking the curiosity for invention. For their counterparts, however, the ability of creative thinking and innovative ideas is valued far more important than merely acquiring new knowledge. In this way, the American students' curiosity is greatly stimulated. Authorities on education state that curiosity
and creative thinking are of key importance in discoveries and inventions.

Moreover, rebellion against the established practices and authorities is the secret of success in both the academic and the professional field as well. History abounds with such examples. Before the 15th century, almost all the people believe in the idea that the Sun revolves around the Earth, Copernicus, however, refuted the popular idea and advance the theory that it is the Earth as well as other plants revolves around the Sun. He was laughed at as insane, and even persecuted by the ???.(不知道用什么单词好!当局?还是什么?) Nevertheless, he refused to give in and insisted on the truth. Finally, his theory gained recognition and became the fundamental theory is astronomy since then. Suppose no one dared to rebel against the seemingly authorities but conform to it without critical thinking, the fallacy might be still on today.

However, conformity to social morals and fundamental values is necessary for they are the frames that ensure the sound development of a society. An unintentional(盲目的?是这样说吗?) rejection to everything would not help to increase the creativity but would quite possiblely do great harm to the environment in which a healthy development(于前面的DEVELOPMENT重复但是想不出来替换的词) of individual creativity and energy is ensured(于前面的ENSURED重复但是想不出来替换的词).Social morals and fundamental values provided people with a basic norm, and only with that norm can a society ensures people's creativity but not let the whimsical "creativity" ruins itself.

In sum, it would be more advisable to emphasize on individual creativity and energy while preserve the good tradition of conformity to basic moral values.



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不想当官,只想赚钱!
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沙发
发表于 2004-2-3 20:52:45 |只看该作者
. "Conformity almost always leads to a deadening of individual creativity and energy."


Conformity, once hailed as a necessary means to bring about unity, has now lead(led) to a deadening of individual creativity and energy.

Conformity tends to stifle the curiosity of people, thus blocking the way to discoveries and inventions in academic fields. A survey conducted by Beijing Review in June, 2003, arouses people's attention. According to the survey, of the 3700 middle-school students in China and the U.S. respectively, the average inventions of an American student per year is 3.41 while the average inventions of a Chinese students is only 0.67.The striking difference of the students' creativity of the two countries is due to the different education system in China and America. For Chinese students, to get a good grade in the exam is the most important thing, therefore, they form the habit of conformity to both the textbooks and their teachers but lacking the curiosity for invention. For their counterparts, however, the ability of creative thinking and innovative ideas is valued far more important than merely acquiring new knowledge. In this way, the American students' curiosity is greatly stimulated. Authorities on education state that curiosity
and creative thinking are of key importance in discoveries and inventions.

Moreover, rebellion against the established practices and authorities is the secret of success in both the academic and the professional field as well. History abounds with such examples. Before the 15th century, almost all the people believe in the idea that the Sun revolves around the Earth, Copernicus, however, refuted the popular idea and advance(advanced) the theory that it is the Earth as well as other plants revolves around the Sun. He was laughed at as insane, and even persecuted by the ???.(不知道用什么单词好!当局?还是什么?)(答:governer或是authority,你看怎样?) Nevertheless, he refused to give in and insisted on the truth. Finally, his theory gained recognition and became the fundamental theory is astronomy since then. Suppose no one dared to rebel against the seemingly authorities but conform(conformed) to it without critical thinking, the fallacy might be still on today.

However, conformity to social morals and fundamental values is necessary for they are the frames that ensure the sound development of a society. An unintentional(盲目的?是这样说吗?)(答:用blind吧) rejection to everything would not help to increase the creativity but would quite possiblely do great harm to the environment in which a healthy development(于前面的DEVELOPMENT重复但是想不出来替换的词)(答:就用DEVELOPMENT挺好的) of individual creativity and energy is ensured(于前面的ENSURED重复但是想不出来替换的词)(答:用guaranteed怎么样).Social morals and fundamental values provided people with a basic norm, and only with that norm can a society ensures people's creativity but not let the whimsical "creativity" ruins itself.

In sum, it would be more advisable to emphasize on individual creativity and energy while preserve the good tradition of conformity to basic moral values.

总的来说我觉得你这篇写的还是不错的,
建议第三段哥白尼的例子换一下,因为据说以前很多人都用过这个例子,都用烂了ETS看着就烦~:)
字数再多一点点就好了。
继续加油~~

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Leo狮子座 荣誉版主

板凳
发表于 2004-2-5 13:14:20 |只看该作者
斑竹过来看看,帮我打个分把!

让我心里有个底。。。
不想当官,只想赚钱!

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Aries白羊座 荣誉版主

地板
发表于 2004-2-6 10:15:27 |只看该作者
我们一般不打分的,我们谁都不是ETS,把握不好他们的标准,胡乱打分恐怕误导人
UA
我说人生哪,如果赏过一回痛哭淋漓的风景,写一篇杜鹃啼血的文章,与一个赏心悦目的人错肩,也就够了。不要收藏美、钤印美,让美随风而逝。生命最清醉的时候,是将万里长江视为一匹白绢,裂帛。(简桢)

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Aries白羊座 荣誉版主

5
发表于 2004-2-6 10:18:01 |只看该作者
另外,我想你应该先对jennyleilei表示感谢吧?
UA
我说人生哪,如果赏过一回痛哭淋漓的风景,写一篇杜鹃啼血的文章,与一个赏心悦目的人错肩,也就够了。不要收藏美、钤印美,让美随风而逝。生命最清醉的时候,是将万里长江视为一匹白绢,裂帛。(简桢)

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Leo狮子座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2004-2-6 20:52:34 |只看该作者
和和

早感谢过了,我们是同学。
不想当官,只想赚钱!

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RE: ISSUE238 恳请高手指正:) [修改]
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