来自ETS官方的额外范文。。。分享了攒人品

HarrisonWongUID: 3465959

来源：ScoreItNow:ETS提供的一项圈钱服务，收13美元用E-rater帮你改两篇作文，同时会提供该题目的1-6分范文。。。可以写的题目有3篇issue和3篇argu。我现在还只写了issue，等我写了argue再把argu的补上来。。
Scoreitnow网站：scoreitnow
题目：
123) The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
官方范文： 官方范文.docx (20.18 KB, 下载次数: 105)

2013-10-4 15:47:29 上传

下载次数: 105

本人拙作。。只校对了拼写错误其他无改动，e-rater很大方的给了5.0...也可以供大家参考

Score5:
What is the best way for educators to cultivate talents for leadership? Because it is clear that to nurture leaders, society should lead students to acquire the most useful characteristics of leadership, this question can be simplified to "what is the most useful features for leadership?". The speaker states that a sense of competition is more important than cooperation. Though I concede that competition is of great significance, I maintain that cooperation is indispensable for a leader.

Proponents of the view may emphasize the vital role of competition in human society. From the view of Darwin, natural species are continuously competing with others, and the winner, or the fittest, will earn the tickets for surviving. Therefore, competition is inherent in human nature and the very reason for human's existence lies in our ancestors' success in competition. At a personal level competition is of considerable importance, especially for leaders. To become a government leader, an individual must succeed in numerous competitions with rivals: political leaders might have won hundreds of elections before they finally become a leader. As a consequence, it appears that all leaders must be good at competing with others. Moreover, once becoming a leader, a person has to compete with other groups in order to ensure his/her own group's surviving. A successful manager of a company should ensure its products to be more attractive and inexpensive than products of rivals, thereby surviving in the market. In short, a person must have great talents in competition to become a leader, and the ability to compete will be further honed during the period of leadership.

Nevertheless, sometimes competition might be only motivated by self-interests, and become unrestrained. Unrestrained competition will not only impede personal or single group's success, but also harm the interests of society. In Watergate Scandal, Nixon arranged subordinates to wiretap his rivals’ meeting. This unjustified action for competition caused the resignation of Nixon, tarnished the reputation of his party, and even discredited the whole politic world of American. Hence, though it is crucial for future leaders to learn how to compete, it is as important to learn how to restrain competition.

Besides, if a leader only know how to compete, and neglect the importance of collaboration, the development of his/her community and even whole human society might be inhibited. Though China and America are long regarded as rivals, the two countries in fact cooperate in numerous aspects such as manufacturing and scientific research. If the leader of China refuses to cooperate with America, the economic and technological development of China might be retarded, and myriads of other nations which benefit from the collaboration between China and America will be affected. Thus, for leaders ability to cooperate is a trait as important as ability to compete.

In summary, though a sense of competition is vitally important for leaders, leaders must know how to restrain it. Further, competition without cooperation is unlikely to be advantageous. It is advisable for leaders to combine cooperation and competition. Therefore, society should encourage future leaders not only to learn how to compete appropriately, but also to cooperate with others, even with rivals.

vngogherUID: 3391684

我觉得这个改分很神奇，一个系统不可能能够对内容进行评分啊，顶多是看看框架方面的东西

HarrisonWongUID: 3465959

vngogher 发表于 2013-10-4 16:48
我觉得这个改分很神奇，一个系统不可能能够对内容进行评分啊，顶多是看看框架方面的东西

ETS应该经过实验弄出这个系统跟人判基本吻合吧。。

EpersistenceUID: 3457993

thank  you  for  sharing！！

catfieldUID: 2481699

先马克

lisa_CUID: 2678347

楼主练完了吗，求范文

懒得哥UID: 3520933

赞

motorcatUID: 3566118

多谢多谢

风行狩UID: 3397108

非常感谢`