issur93 'individual responsibility'--牛人看看，写了半天不知道是不是跑题了

poohUID: 146994

"First, admittedly, sometimes people be forced to do something violate one's own will"
In this topic sentence, I know you are taking about under certain circumstance people are forced to do something which prevents them from being responsible for themselves. However, " violate one's own will" is far from to be responsible , because sometimes responsibility is not out of one's own will but a moral duty to oneself , others , and society.

The third paragraph is kinda digressive. Though the argumentation that people have choices is necessary to support your conclustion, you'd better point out the relathionship between this premise and your conclustion "' individual responsibility' is not a fiction, it is real"

Overall, good job, keep working !

baddream77UID: 117736

thank you,我想知道就我现在这水平最多能得多少分？23号就考了，急啊
能提点改进学习的意见么？多谢