【独立写作】lzl124631x的作业贴

大圣爱吃甲鱼UID: 3480379

楼主写的真心不错！受教了

lzl124631xUID: 3396095

sarah666 发表于 2013-10-29 14:46
It seems necessary for me to quit the habit of procrastination. Sorry for being late.

Hah, a commonplace problem.
Thx for the meticulous revise. So embarrassing for leaving so many little flaws.
Most of your comments have been accepted and appreciated, except:
1) If having ... I originally wrote "If you have participated... you'll learn ...", but I noticed the redundancy of subject "you". So I deleted the "you" in the if clause and modified "have" to "having". I think there is nothing wrong. But your advise is welcomed.
2) make vs making. I wanted to express "help you convey and thus (help you) make your listeners...". Maybe a little bit trivial. "that could help you convey clearly your thoughts and ideas to the listeners, making your listeners more inclined to your side. "
Anyway, thx again:)

mimimomo666UID: 3476142

GT10.29 - lzl124631x.docx (15.65 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2013-10-30 22:30:40 上传

下载次数: 2

写的很好啊~

lzl124631xUID: 3396095

mimimomo666 发表于 2013-10-30 14:02
写的很好啊~

Eh, it's the writing of llsss_1234... not your revision of my writing.

mimimomo666UID: 3476142

lzl124631x 发表于 2013-10-30 16:13
Eh, it's the writing of llsss_1234... not your revision of my writing.

啊啊，so sorry，我在上一楼改过了，请去看，嘎～

lzl124631xUID: 3396095

mimimomo666 发表于 2013-10-30 22:32
啊啊，so sorry，我在上一楼改过了，请去看，嘎～

Hah, thx a lot:)

yysoongUID: 3146991

10.30已改
我今天第一次写，看到楼主的文章真正感受到差距，受教！

lzl124631xUID: 3396095

yysoong 发表于 2013-10-31 16:03
10.30已改
我今天第一次写，看到楼主的文章真正感受到差距，受教！

改完咯, 见二楼. 一起进步!

lzl124631xUID: 3396095

diecan 发表于 2013-10-25 20:20
楼主，改好了。另外谢谢你给我的作文的精心修改。

改完咯 见2楼 加油~~~

liuyc037UID: 3428284

第一次给别人改文章，改的不好还望见谅~

lzl124631xUID: 3396095

liuyc037 发表于 2013-11-1 18:01
第一次给别人改文章，改的不好还望见谅~

收到, 非常感谢! 改得很好, 对我启发很大.

缄素远UID: 3266338

10.31 改好了~

10.31 liuyc037 revised by缄素远.doc (36.5 KB, 下载次数: 0)

2013-11-3 14:48:30 上传

下载次数: 0

sodapengUID: 3242849

已改~写的不错哦~