issue180，道德能否立法，70分钟

coolwitsUID: 149150

refer to this edition. ---iq28

  With the development of the democratic legislation, more and more social problems have been solved by laws and legal system; however, there remain enormous problems concerning morality for us to handle. I fundamentally agree to the speaker's assertion that such problems cannot be solved by either laws or legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated.

    First of all, because different people have different opinions about moral standards, legislation about moral behavior can hardly be well accepted by the public. In comparison with criminal activities, towards which people tend to have, if not the same, similar definition, much immoral behavior shapes various reflections in different people. For supporting examples one needs look no further than mercy killing. In some people's opinion it is quite immoral to end a human being's life if he can still live on, no matter how toughly he is suffering from disease; however, in other's views it is truly moral to do so, because the behavior can extricate the patient from endless pain. If whether mercy killing is moral were legislated, people who hold the opposite opinion will inevitably feel it difficult to accept and can seldom obey it of one‘s own. As in this case potential contradiction may correspondingly impair the authority of laws and legal system, the legislation of mercy killing show no feasibility.

   Moreover, a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation. In people's private life, what they have done can hardly be accessible to the public; consequently, if they behave themselves immorally hiding behind their privacy, no legislation of moral behavior can confine them. For instance, nowadays teenage pregnancy, because it can hamper teens’ health and result in negative social influence, climes up to a crucial social problem in many countries. However, it is obviously that irresponsible sexual behavior between two teens is so private a thing that outsiders can never know in advance, not to mention the preventing power of legislation. In fact, people's private life can seldom be touched by laws or legal system.

  In addition, legislation of moral behavior, in which rigidity is involved by legislation's nature, can impair people's freedom on some occasions. In reality, people's behavior concerning about morality tends to be more complicated than the degree that legislation can reach within its limited documents; however, legislation must stipulate that it be applicable in all situations, which necessarily brings about rigidity that may diminish people's freedom. For example, in the 1930’s America, social problems related with intemperate potation, such as tussle and family violence, threaten social stability seriously. Because of the promotion of women’s organization and the feedback from all over the American, the Government decided to work out legislation against the immoral behavior of intemperate potation. However, while it was difficult to discriminate intemperate potation from temperate potation, the government had no choice but to forbidden the behavior of potation exhaustively. According to the legislation, any behavior of drink alcohol, no matter the quantity, the time, and the reason, would receive punishment. In fact, human rights were dramatically undermined by this legislation; and it was finally abrogated because of people's fierce protest.

  To sum up, moral behavior has its special characteristics that prevent it from legislation. As a result, in such a complex society as ours, although laws and legal system are feasible approaches to solve many social problems, many other ones about morality cannot be eliminated via them.









180 "Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated."
现代社会的很多问题是法律和立法系统无法解决的，因为道德行为是无法用法律约束的。
1. As different people have different opinion about moral standards, it can hardly be well accepted by the public if moral behavior is legislated.
2. a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation.
3. Legislation of moral behavior may impair people's freedom on some occasions.
   
With the development of the democratic legislation, more and more social problems have been solved by laws and legal system; However, there remain enormous problems concerning about morality for us to handle. I fundamentally agree to the speaker's assertion that such problems cannot be solved by either laws or legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated.

    First of all, as different people have different opinion about moral standards, legislation about moral behavior can hardly be well accepted by the public. In comparison with criminal activities, towards which people tend to have, if not the same, similar ideas about what it is, much immoral behavior shapes various reflections in different people. For supporting examples one need look no further than mercy killing. In some people's opinion it is quite immoral to end a human being's life if he can still live on, no matter how toughly he is suffering from disease; however, in other's views it is truly moral to do so, because the behavior can extricate the patient from endless pain. If whether mercy kill is moral were legislated, people who hold the opposite opinion will inevitably feel it difficult to accept and can seldom obey it of one own. In this case, potential hazards may impair the authority of laws and legal system in the long run.

   Moreover, a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation. In people's private life, what they have done can hardly be accessible to the public; consequently, if they behave themselves immorally hiding behind their privacy, no legislation of moral behavior can confine them. For instance, nowadays teenage pregnancy climes up to a crucial social problem in many countries. However, it is obviously that irresponsible sexual behavior between two teens is so private a thing that outsiders can never know in advance, not to mention the preventing power of legislation. In fact, people's private life can seldom be touched by laws or legal system.

  In addition, legislation of moral behavior, in which rigidity is involved by legislation's nature, can impair people's freedom on some occasions. In reality, people's behavior concerning about morality tends to be more complicated than the degree that legislation can reach within its limited documents; however, legislation must stipulate that it be applicable in all situations, which necessarily brings about rigidity that may diminish people's freedom. For example, America worked out the legislation against the immoral behavior of bibulosity in the 1930's. According to the legislation, people mustn't drink alcohol, and any behavior of drink alcohol, no matter the quantity, the time, and the reason, would receive punishment. In fact, human rights were dramatically undermined by this legislation; and it was finally abrogated because of people's fierce protest.

  To sum up, moral behavior has its special characteristics that prevent it from legislation. As a result, in such a complex society as ours, although laws and legal system are feasible approaches to solve many social problems, many other ones about morality cannot be eliminated via them.

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-6-24 05:26 编辑 ]

imongUID: 140258

However, there remain enormous problems concerning about morality for us to handle.
remain和concerning about好像都有问题

第一个body的ts里面那个as不如换成更好的连接。

criminal activity直接写crime好了。这个句子应该说写得还是挺好的。

语言方面没有仔细推敲，看看别人有什么意见吧。总体来说还可以，不过还能看到零散的违反convention的地方。

第二段body整个段落还不错。第三段的ts和结构都可以，不过例子似乎不太相干？我没看明白中间的联系。第一个body前三分之二都还很好，不过后面有点怪：写成了if... people will... 变成假设结果去了，而原题是 because moral behavior CANNOT be legislated. 这两者不是等同的关系，也许是假设结果可以推导得出 moral behavior CANNOT ... ，所以说你的最后一句话In this case, potential hazards may impair the authority of laws and legal system in the long run.落在这里就觉得不太舒服，最好加一句话给返回去到moral behavior 的正面分析结论上面。

不知道我说明白没有。总体的论证结构还是很清晰的，不错。继续加油。我的意见你也挑着看吧，不一定都对的。

coolwitsUID: 149150

先谢过imong
concern 那里的确错了，about不该要， criminal activities 我是想和 immoral behavior 对照， 问题不大
第三段例子的确没说清楚, 我回头修改
第一段最后的确不舒服, 完全接受
我会修改的
再次感谢

ValentinerUID: 121676

180 "Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated."
现代社会的很多问题是法律和立法系统无法解决的，因为道德行为是无法用法律约束的。
1. As different people have different opinion about moral standards, it can hardly be well accepted by the public if moral behavior is legislated.
2. a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation.
3. Legislation of moral behavior may impair people's freedom on some occasions.

With the development of the democratic legislation, more and more social problems have been solved by laws and legal system; However, (however) there remain(s) enormous problems concerning about morality for us to handle. I fundamentally agree to the speaker's assertion that such problems cannot be solved by either laws or legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated.
第一段背景+立场，很干脆。
First of all, as different people have different opinion（s） about moral standards, legislation about moral behavior can hardly be well accepted by the public. In comparison with criminal activities, towards which people tend to have, if not the same, similar ideas about what it is(我觉得这里的what it is有些多余), much immoral behavior shapes various reflections in different people. For supporting examples one need(s) look no further than mercy killing. In some people's opinion it is quite immoral to end a human being's life if he can still live on, no matter how toughly he is suffering from disease; however, in other's views it is truly moral to do so, because the behavior can extricate the patient from endless pain. If whether mercy kill(ing) is moral were legislated, people who hold the opposite opinion will inevitably feel it difficult to accept and can seldom obey it of one(‘s) own. In this case, potential hazards may impair the authority of laws and legal system in the long run.
这一段安乐死的例子很不错，思路很开阔，羡慕ing~~~

Moreover, a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation. In people's private life, what they have done can hardly be accessible to the public; consequently, if they behave themselves immorally hiding behind their privacy, no legislation of moral behavior can confine them. For instance, nowadays teenage pregnancy climes up to a crucial social problem in many countries. However, it is obviously that irresponsible sexual behavior between two teens is so private a thing that outsiders can never know in advance, not to mention the preventing power of legislation. In fact, people's private life can seldom be touched by laws or legal system.
例子很不错，但我觉得对例子还可以进一步的深入分析。teenage pregnancy作为当事人来讲，的确是隐私，但这种行为从道德的角度来看，又该如何理解，而这种行为究竟带来了怎样的社会问题，如果将其立法，会不会又引发其它的社会问题而得不偿失呢？
In addition, legislation of moral behavior, in which rigidity is involved by legislation's nature, can impair people's freedom on some occasions. In reality, people's behavior concerning about morality tends to be more complicated than the degree that legislation can reach within its limited documents; however, legislation must stipulate that it be applicable in all situations, which necessarily brings about rigidity that may diminish people's freedom. For example, America worked out the legislation against the immoral behavior of bibulosity in the 1930's. According to the legislation, people mustn't drink alcohol, and any behavior of drink alcohol, no matter the quantity, the time, and the reason, would receive punishment. In fact, human rights were dramatically undermined by this legislation; and it was finally abrogated because of people's fierce protest.
此段在例子后面其实还可再总结一下，对人们的行为如果用法律过分的约束，对社会不但不会起到维护的作用，instead, 还会给社会带来骚乱。（只是对于饮酒到底能不能算做是moral behavior还有待考证）

To sum up, moral behavior has its special characteristics that prevent it from legislation. As a result, in such a complex society as ours, although laws and legal system are feasible approaches to solve many social problems, many other ones about morality cannot be eliminated via them.
总的来说，我觉得写得非常好了。楼主的文章里面，有好多我可以学习的地方。我水平有限，说几句自己意见，如果不对，还请楼主多多包涵。
我觉得三个BODY的角度选取得不错，例子也很让人耳目一新。但如果在举例完成之后，再加入更深入一步的说明，就会让人觉得更加有说服力一些，整篇文章严整性也更加完美。

coolwitsUID: 149150

例子很不错，但我觉得对例子还可以进一步的深入分析。teenage pregnancy作为当事人来讲，的确是隐私，但这种行为从道德的角度来看，又该如何理解，而这种行为究竟带来了怎样的社会问题，如果将其立法，会不会又引发其它的社会问题而得不偿失呢？
意见非常好, 的确可以具体一点分析teenage pregnancy 的社会问题, 但引发其它社会问题我觉得就和这段的ts偏离了。但如果再补充说理的话还是可以的， 比如说少女为逃避法律而私自堕胎，更加危险
禁酒令的例子我没说清楚，回去修改

coolwitsUID: 149150

180 "Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated."
现代社会的很多问题是法律和立法系统无法解决的，因为道德行为是无法用法律约束的。
1. As different people have different opinion about moral standards, it can hardly be well accepted by the public if moral behavior is legislated.
2. a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation.
3. Legislation of moral behavior may impair people's freedom on some occasions.
   
With the development of the democratic legislation, more and more social problems have been solved by laws and legal system; however, there remain enormous problems concerning morality for us to handle. I fundamentally agree to the speaker's assertion that such problems cannot be solved by either laws or legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated.

    First of all, because different people have different opinions about moral standards, legislation about moral behavior can hardly be well accepted by the public. In comparison with criminal activities, towards which people tend to have, if not the same, similar definition, much immoral behavior shapes various reflections in different people. For supporting examples one needs look no further than mercy killing. In some people's opinion it is quite immoral to end a human being's life if he can still live on, no matter how toughly he is suffering from disease; however, in other's views it is truly moral to do so, because the behavior can extricate the patient from endless pain. If whether mercy killing is moral were legislated, people who hold the opposite opinion will inevitably feel it difficult to accept and can seldom obey it of one‘s own. As in this case potential contradiction may correspondingly impair the authority of laws and legal system, the legislation of mercy killing show no feasibility.

   Moreover, a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation. In people's private life, what they have done can hardly be accessible to the public; consequently, if they behave themselves immorally hiding behind their privacy, no legislation of moral behavior can confine them. For instance, nowadays teenage pregnancy, because it can hamper teens’ health and result in negative social influence, climes up to a crucial social problem in many countries. However, it is obviously that irresponsible sexual behavior between two teens is so private a thing that outsiders can never know in advance, not to mention the preventing power of legislation. In fact, people's private life can seldom be touched by laws or legal system.

  In addition, legislation of moral behavior, in which rigidity is involved by legislation's nature, can impair people's freedom on some occasions. In reality, people's behavior concerning about morality tends to be more complicated than the degree that legislation can reach within its limited documents; however, legislation must stipulate that it be applicable in all situations, which necessarily brings about rigidity that may diminish people's freedom. For example, in the 1930’s America, social problems related with intemperate potation, such as tussle and family violence, threaten social stability seriously. Because of the promotion of women’s organization and the feedback from all over the American, the Government decided to work out legislation against the immoral behavior of intemperate potation. However, while it was difficult to discriminate intemperate potation from temperate potation, the government had no choice but to forbidden the behavior of potation exhaustively. According to the legislation, any behavior of drink alcohol, no matter the quantity, the time, and the reason, would receive punishment. In fact, human rights were dramatically undermined by this legislation; and it was finally abrogated because of people's fierce protest.

  To sum up, moral behavior has its special characteristics that prevent it from legislation. As a result, in such a complex society as ours, although laws and legal system are feasible approaches to solve many social problems, many other ones about morality cannot be eliminated via them.

sydUID: 151948

180 "Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated."
现代社会的很多问题是法律和立法系统无法解决的，因为道德行为是无法用法律约束的。
1. As different people have different opinion about moral standards, it can hardly be well accepted by the public if moral behavior is legislated.
2. a lot of immoral behavior involves so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation.
3. Legislation of moral behavior may impair people's freedom on some occasions.

With the development of the democratic legislation, more and more social problems have been solved by laws and legal system; however, there remain enormous problems concerning morality for us to handle. I fundamentally agree to the speaker's assertion that such problems cannot be solved by either laws or legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated.

First of all, because different people have different opinions about[on is better] moral standards, legislation about moral behavior can hardly be well accepted by the public. In comparison with criminal activities, towards which people tend to have, if not the same, similar definition, much immoral behavior shapes various reflections in different people. For supporting examples one needs look no further than mercy killing. In some people's opinion it is quite immoral to end a human being's life if he[or she] can still live on, no matter how toughly[painy?] he is suffering from disease; however, in other's views it is truly moral to do so, because the behavior can extricate the patient from endless pain. If whether[that] mercy killing is moral were legislated, people who hold the opposite opinion will inevitably feel it difficult to accept and can seldom obey it of one‘s own[own what?]. As in this case potential contradiction may correspondingly impair the authority of laws and legal system, the legislation of mercy killing show no feasibility.

Moreover, a lot of immoral behavior involves[involve] so much privacy that it can seldom be confined by legislation. In people's private life, what they have done can hardly be accessible to the public; consequently, if they behave themselves immorally hiding behind their privacy, no legislation of moral behavior can confine them. For instance, nowadays teenage pregnancy, because it can hamper teens’ health [heathy grown up]and result in negative social influence, climes up to a crucial social problem in many countries. However, it is obviously that irresponsible sexual behavior between two teens is so private a thing that outsiders can never know in advance, not to mention the preventing power of legislation. In fact, people's private life can seldom be touched by laws or legal system.

In addition, legislation of moral behavior, in which rigidity is involved by legislation's nature, can impair people's freedom on some occasions. In reality, people's behavior concerning about morality tends to be more complicated than the degree that legislation can reach within its limited documents; however, legislation must stipulate that it be applicable in all situations, which necessarily brings about rigidity that may diminish people's freedom[if the legislation is to be applicable in all situations ,where comes the rigity?]. For example, in the 1930’s America, social problems related with intemperate potation, such as tussle and family violence, threaten social stability seriously. Because of the promotion of women’s organization and the feedback from all over the American, the Government decided to work out legislation against the immoral behavior of intemperate potation. However, while it was difficult to discriminate intemperate potation from temperate potation, the government had no choice but to forbidden the behavior of potation exhaustively. According to the legislation, any behavior of drink alcohol, no matter the quantity, the time, and the reason, would receive punishment. In fact, human rights were dramatically undermined by this legislation; and it was finally abrogated because of people's fierce protest.

To sum up, moral behavior has its special characteristics that prevent it from legislation. As a result, in such a complex society as ours, although laws and legal system are feasible approaches to solve many social problems, many other ones about morality cannot be eliminated via them.
your revision is effective indeed. :)