[分享]每日一评！情人节SPECIAL！复杂题干+细节利用，精彩的6分范文

imongUID：140258

每日一评：复杂题干与细节利用，一篇精彩的6分范文
Issue99
"In any realm of life---whether academic, social, business, or political---the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more
immediate options."
提干分析：首先扔一个炸弹出来（前半句），而且话说得相当绝（in ANY realm of life，而且这里使用了rather than而不是用more比较，把立场逼到了死路上），后半句作为前面的声明的论据和引子。从破题的角度来讲就比较明显了，前半句破出支持原题/反对原题/conditionally，而后面的论据同样是可以独立的进行支持/驳斥，两部分彼此是乘法的关系，选择相当宽泛。作者在此选择反对原题

I agree with the speaker insofar as that a practical, pragmatic approach toward our endeavors can help us survive in the short term. However, idealism is just as crucial if not more so—for long-term success in any endeavor, whether it be in academics, business, or political and social reform. 开篇模糊又不失精确，从long-term 和short term上着手，避开了直接论述pragmatic是不是the ONLY way to success的棘手而容易偏执的问题，直接扔到short term然后冠上一个helpful，把火力转到idealism的long-term上。值得一提的是这样再划分之后相当的取巧，但根本不跑题，也可以算作一次比较漂亮的让步。

Trees曾经点评过一篇嘉文博译的范文（issue116），里面就着题目的细节顺势展开，洋洋洒洒铺展开来，而这篇文章同样如此，把基调定在了彻底反对之后，就着题干给出的三个词 academics business political，全线开火：

When it comes to academics, students who we would consider pragmatic tend not to pursue an education for its own sake. Instead, they tend to cut whatever corners are needed to optimize their grade average and survive the current academic term. But, is this approach the only way to succeed academically? Certainly not.不得不佩服：4句话把原题的推断在academic中给演绎了一遍，拿出具体现象之后紧接着就开始驳斥，非常紧凑。Students who earnestly pursue intellectual paths that truly interest them are more likely to come away with a meaningful and lasting education. In fact, a sense of mission about one's area of fascination is strong motivation to participate actively in class and to study earnestly, both of which contribute to better grades in that area.对上一句话的跟进说明，这就是support所在。 Thus, although the idealist-student might sacrifice a high overall grade average, the depth of knowledge, academic discipline, and sense of purpose the student gains will serve that student well later in life. 简单直接搞定一个方面。

In considering the business world it might be more tempting to agree with the speaker; after all, isn't business fundamentally about pragmatism--that is, "getting the job done" and paying attention to the "bottom line"? Emphatically, no. 略带让步的段落开始，而和上一段同样精彩。Admittedly, the everyday machinations of business are very much about meeting mundane short-term goals: deadlines for production, sales quotas, profit margins, and so forth. 前面出来了admittedly后面必然就是： Yet underpinning these activities is the vision of the company's chief executive--a vision which might extend far beyond mere profit maximization to the ways in which the firm can make a lasting and meaningful contribution to the community, to the broader economy, and to the society as a whole.漂亮，精彩的长句结构和强力的内容。 Without a dream or vision--that is, without strong idealist leadership--a firm can easily be cast about in the sea of commerce without dear direction, threatening not only the firm's bottom line but also its very survival.同样精彩的长句，进一步追击，最后落到threatening survival上面，完胜。

Finally, when it comes to the political arena, again at first blush it might appear that pragmatism is the best, if not the only, way to succeed.可以看出三个段落的开头是有着严密的预先设计的，和嘉文博译的范文有异曲同工之妙。 Most politicians seem driven by their interest in being elected and reelected--that is, in surviving--rather than by any sense of mission, or even obligation to their constituency or country.漂亮！in surviving 这个插入语实在精彩（姑且不论是否无懈可击，至少在这里作为立论，足够了），一下子扣回了题眼，而后面的even obligation to则使整个句子继续增色。 Diplomatic and legal maneuverings and negotiations often appear intended to meet the practical needs of the parties involved--minimizing costs, preserving options, and so forth. 进一步叙述现象，以退为进，然后现在就要进了：But, it is idealists-not pragmatists--who sway the masses, incite revolutions, and make political ideology reality. Consider idealists such as America's founders, Mahatma Gandhi, or Martin Luther King. Had these idealists concerned themselves with short-term survival and immediate needs rather than with their notions of an ideal society, the United States and India might still be British colonies, and African-Americans might still be relegated to the backs of buses. 一个虚拟语气句子，两个震撼效果的虚拟结果，比起前两段这个结尾略显逊色，但行文至此，足够了。

In short, the statement fails to recognize that idealism--keeping one's eye on an ultimate prize--is the surest path to long-term success in any endeavor.很巧妙的外推，从三方面直接就到了any endeavor，但并不显得突兀。 Meeting one's immediate needs, while arguably necessary for short-term survival, accomplishes little without a sense of mission, a vision, or a dream for the long term.再次回到自己的论点。

这篇文章全文都相当精彩，我认为很可能拿到6分。一个主要特色就是细节论述，这一点不再详述。另外一个特点就是对题干的掌握：原题是一个论点加论据，破解的时候并不是眉毛胡子一把抓，后面的什么superceded根本就没管，但是最关键的字眼绝对不含糊：pragmatic，idealistic，only，succeed，survival也算上，并且自己引入long-term和short-term，使整篇的分析和论证条理化，清晰化。两方面的手法，都值得我们学习。

dennismarkUID：141092

写得好！
评的也好！
顶

童心UID：151202

good,.

谢谢IMONG

xxsuperzxUID：131892

好 有启发意义 顶一下

wglxhUID：152604

文章组织的不错,我决定完全套用这个模式写一篇消化一下,呵呵

linakUID：155465

恩，评得好
顶一下

paisleyUID：64183

已经掉到这么后面了

vlorenUID：155294

写在签名档的诸多一致很醒目
启发精神奖