ISSUE114 科技类，技术和人性，WRITTEN IN PP3，请大家帮忙看看。

sydUID: 151948

ISSUE【114】 Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no
better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity. 人类在过去的一百年左右止步不前。技术在不断进步而人类的整体条件却没有改善。
战争、暴力和贫困仍然困扰着我们。技术无法改变人类的处境。
--，
1，世界在不断的变化，总是有新的问题 出现，技术的进步解决了历史上的许多问题，给人们带来了巨大的实惠。
1/1 在战争领域，我们可以进行虚拟的电子对抗来避免人员的伤亡。
1/2 在经济领域，技术的进步使我们可以养活更多的人来避免饥荒，技术也从各个方面提高着我们的生活水平，。
2，技术在人性的本质上的作用是有限的，人们的自私和贪婪的特点使 这个世界难于安宁。技术在一定程度上削弱它的负面影响，甚至改变它。
3，随着技术的进步和人类自身觉悟的提高，人性 的改善是能够实现的。


Technological innovations, generally considered to be the engine pulse of the progress made in the human history, are now under discussion. Whether technological innovation has changed the world, especially the overall humanity, according to the speaker, is confronting a suspicion. However, as far as I am concerned, no one could deny the great benefit that technology has brought to human beings, and no doubt, with the endeavor of all the human beings, the condition of humanity is to be changed ultimately.

The first point I am trying to make, however, is that the world is changing at no time and consequently, new issues always arise. The technological innovations had solved many of these problems for us throughout the history.The starvation problem caused by the population in China is a case in point. As China gained her independence, many of the western media and critics claims that the independence will soon be lost as Chinese can not feed themselves with these bare hands as the population is too big for their annul food production. However, Yuan Long pin, the great Chinese biology scientist, solved this crucial problem by his innovative technique in developing a brand new kind of wheat, which can produce a lot more rice than before. This innovation even benefits other regions in Asia. In addition, compared to the wars in old form, technological innovation has made new kind of wars, which are far less brutal. The modern wars are using electronically attacking methods, which rely on computers and network rather than iron weapons. As a result, almost nobody dies in this kind of wars. From the above two cases we can see how technological innovations changes the humanity by improving its condition.

However, technological tools cannot take effect on peoples minds. The vile natures of humanity, such as selfishness, greed, are somewhat innate with every individual. What technological innovation can help is to lessen and clear the negative impact that these abominable natures have brought to our lives, and finally change the humanity. To prevent lying on the court, a new device can detect the electronic waves emitted by the brain when the person involved is saying anything and then to judge if he was telling the truth.  Obviously, because of the incapability to lie, one's only choice is to tell the truth. From this respective we can see that innovations of technology can weaken or clear the natural defects of human beings, and thus improve the humanity.

Finally, with the progress that human beings explore themsleves in the history and their future adventure, aided by the technological innovations, which serve as the engine pulse and sometimes restrictions, humanity is sure to be changed into a better one, war, violence, and poverty, together with the unknown problems that may arise in the future, are to be solved ultimately.
472WORDS 43MINS.
在限时的情况下，字数的确是个问题 :(

imongUID: 140258

我只看了第一段

no one could deny the great benefit that technology has brought to human beings（1）, and no doubt, with the endeavor of all the human beings, the condition of humanity is to be changed ultimately.（2）

再看看原题：

Humanity has made little real progress over the past century or so. Technological innovations have taken place, but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. Technology cannot change the condition of humanity.

我觉得基本上完全离题。不知道后面的TS是不是也有类似问题。例证还是有关的，但是例是有关的，证上面则出了点问题。

另外，我个人认为“在战争领域，我们可以进行虚拟的电子对抗来避免人员的伤亡。”这个东西实质上是更加没人性，这是一个alternative论点，并不是说你的论证有误。从同样的论据，我们可以得出相反的结论，关键在于怎么认识吧。

sydUID: 151948

However,I must say that I do not think I am off the point.
我的意思 是 说这个 题目的核心 在于 “Technology cannot change the condition of humanity.” 然后，AS THE TOPIC HAS REFERED TO WAR AND POVERTY，我举用了 电子战的例子来说明 战争是可以相对的人性化的，即 不一定需要有人员的 伤亡，然后 用 中国粮食问题的解决 来说明技术 可以解决 贫困，比如饥荒。
然后我还论证了 技术可以 从硬的 方面改良 人性的弱点，比如测谎仪使人无法说谎，从而让人不能说谎。

我认为 对于“HUMANITY”的 理解可以是 哲学上的，但是题目 把它展开为 一些具体的问题，人性的问题：“but the overall condition of humanity is no better. War, violence, and poverty are still with us. ”所以我选择了用 技术解决问题的  思路来写，请问IMONG ，如果是你准备 怎么展开呢？ 期待你的见解。 :)

imongUID: 140258

no one could deny the great benefit that technology has brought to human beings（1）, and no doubt, with the endeavor of all the human beings, the condition of humanity is to be changed ultimately.（2）

（1）的benefit不等于humanity
（2）的endeavor不等于technology

能理解为什么我认为你跑题了吗？

上面的分析都不错，但是我觉得问题集中在这句话上，尤其考虑到这句话是你的总论点~~

sydUID: 151948

妈的，一针见血，我知道了。
我又，又BEG THE QUESTION 了
写的时候，看着那个计时器就 开始跳 着思考，其实加上 引导的句子或者是词语就可以避免误解 了。
（1）的benefit不等于humanity
no one could deny the great benefit that technology has brought to human beings by improving humanity nonstoply eversince it formerly existed....,
（2）的endeavor不等于technology
with the endeavor of all the human beings to develope more advaned technology, the condition of humanity is to be changed ultimately.
顺便问一句，字数是不是太少了？

imongUID: 140258

嗯，反应很快的说。

develope-->develop 注意拼写

没觉得字数少。实际上，我很反感讨论字数多了还是字数少了，实质上的问题应该是我的分析是不是足够了还是不够，字数和内容充实是有一定关系的，但是并不是直接等号或者简单的一一对映。

我当时考试的时候只写了2个body，但是每个body把我的论点基本上说清楚和充分了，我觉得就可以了。

sydUID: 151948

我也觉得 说清楚是 最主要的。
好的，继续努力了

gdhdannyUID: 125843

Technological innovations, generally considered to be the engine pulse of the progress made in the human history, are now under discussion. Whether technological innovation has changed the world, especially the overall humanity, according to the speaker, is confronting a suspicion. However, as far as I am concerned, no one could deny the great benefit that technology has brought to human beings, and no doubt, with the endeavor of all the human beings, the condition of humanity is to be changed ultimately.

The first point I am trying to make, however（为什么上来就转折？）, is that the world is changing at no time and consequently, new issues always arise. The technological innovations had solved（为什么是过去完成时？） many of these problems for us throughout the history.The starvation problem caused by the population in China is a case in point. As（这个连词用得好） China gained her independence, many of the western media and critics claims（many of 后面是否用单数我记不太清了） that the independence will soon be lost as Chinese can not feed themselves with these（感觉还是their好些） bare hands as（连续两个as表示原因，换一个吧） the population is too big for their annul（废除？） food production. However, Yuan Long pin（ping?）, the great Chinese biology scientist, solved this crucial problem by his innovative technique in developing a brand new kind of wheat, which can produce a lot more rice than before（我觉得应该强调的是efficiency,亩产）. This innovation even benefits other regions in Asia. In addition, compared to the wars in old form, technological innovation has made new kind of wars, which are far less brutal. The modern wars are using electronically（感觉上electronic还是修饰methods，是否考虑形容词） attacking methods, which rely on computers and network rather than iron weapons. As a result, almost nobody dies in this kind of wars. From the above two cases we can see how technological innovations changes the humanity by improving its condition.

However, technological tools cannot take effect on peoples（people’s） minds. The vile natures of humanity, such as selfishness, greed, are somewhat innate with every individual. What technological innovation can help is to lessen and clear the negative impact that these abominable natures have brought to our lives, and finally change the humanity. To prevent lying on the court, a new device can detect the electronic waves emitted by the brain when the person involved is saying anything（while … is saying 别再加上anything; 或者no matter what…is saying） and （and 后面的并列句，主语是a new device，谓语是不是应该是judge而不是不定式？）then to judge if he（性别问题） was telling the truth. Obviously, because of the incapability to lie, one's only choice is to tell the truth. From this respective we can see that innovations of technology can weaken or clear the natural defects of human beings, and thus improve the humanity.（这段语言不错的说）
TS里说technological tools cannot take effect on people’s minds.最后的结论怎么又是thus improve the humanity呢？

Finally, with the progress that human beings explore themselves in the history and their future adventure, aided by the technological innovations, which serve as the engine pulse and sometimes restrictions（文中谈到restriction了么？）, humanity is sure to be changed into a better one,（“.”） war, violence, and poverty, together with the unknown problems that may arise in the future, are to be solved ultimately.

我就说不足了。

开头和结尾同时谈到了ultimately的问题，可在过程中并没有提到人们是怎样通过努力最终获得成功的，成果现象居多，过程很少。

However那段里讲的实际是不能彻底改变humanity也可以lessen and clear the negative impact，最后得出结论可以improve。就像argu里的典型错误一样，消除负面影响不一定就对应着正面的提高。

FantasizingUID: 142282

many of后面就应该用单数吧