Issue15 On extremes of human behavior

galaxysongUID: 152834

15 "The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior."
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16:33
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Till now, we human beings have learnt a lot from the costly lessons about the extremes of human behavior. We have thus established and been operating all kinds of systems to respond to such extremes. The most reasonable and valuable way, however, is not quick and effective respondence alone, but a symmetric combination of both respondence and prevention.

Admittedly, wholesome and robust systems of respondence to extreme behaviors are indispensable to our society. The better these systems function, the less loss the society will suffer in emergencies such as robbery, murder, disorder and rebellion. Take earthquakes (which put people into extreme situations and usually cause extreme behaviors like panic) in Japan for example. This nation consisting of islands on the Pacific rim suffers earthquakes from time to time. Japanese have embedded education and function in every level of their society: children begin to learn self-help in earthquakes at kindergarten; buildings are designed to survive earthquakes; and when an earthquake takes place, officials, polices, citizens and so forth, all can involve in their due roles to save lives and property, and can restore order as quickly as does an earthquake destroy the order.

When human behavior explodes, nevertheless, it is always too late. Most extremes of human behavior grow gradually and thereby continually show warnings as some bombs keep beeping before they blast. Consider, for instance, crimes which trouble and harm modern societies. Murderers are seldom committed for no reason. Even if it seems to be that mere brutal impulse forced a murderer to kill an unspecific victim, further investigation can still reveal what miserable experiences of life have branded the convict with the hatred and desperate. Another telling example is just opposite--suicide. Psychological researches and studies have long proven that a person at times suggested others, although usually unconsciously, just like crying "help", before he or she finally ends in suicide.

Understandably, it is more important and effective to prevent disasters in advance than to remedy them. A preventive system for helping suicide may light the hope of desperate people and thus save their lives. And reform in education systems may nurture children kindness, honesty and integration in personality in order to eradicate the latent dark side in their hearts. Prevention is more cost-efficient than remedy. A story of fire fighters of a town can illustrate this point. When no fire happens, these fire fighters do not only wait alert but also drive around the town and handle visible problems that may otherwise cause fire. By doing this, the fire accident rate dropped and stayed in an incredible low level.

On balance, however, to serve the common goal to diminish the frequencies and intensities of exorbitant and harmful bursts in behavior, the systems of respondence and of prevention should join hands. Turning back to the earthquakes in Japan. Behind the impressive scenes where all kinds of people take concerted action, the penetration of mass awareness and consciousness of earthquake, by nationwide and ongoing trainings and legislations, contribute greatly to the timely and efficient respondences to earthquakes. As to abate crime, people not only have to understand what punishment they will have when having broken a law, but also need to know how to meet their demands legitimately. Therefore, both powerful police forces and constructive education should cooperate. Only in this way can our society advances stably as a cart with two wheels.

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18:27

wglxhUID: 152604

原文
Till now, we human beings have learnt a lot from the costly lessons about这个介词用的莫名其妙，可以改为resulted from或别的什么 the extremes of human behavior. We have thus established and been operating这个完全没有必要，删掉and been operating all kinds of systems to respond to such extremes. The most reasonable and valuable way, however建议在句首使用别的表示递进的词，这里用转折意味如此强烈的词十分不妥，在句首用BUT也行, is not quick and effective respondence兄弟，这个不怪你。你又用金山词霸了吧？英语中压根就没有这么一个字！！！这是那些想当然不求甚解的白痴们造的。名词就是respondent，下文不一一标注了，记住全改了alone, but a symmetric combination of both删 respondence and prevention.

开头内容不错，句子仍然稍微罗嗦，但是没什么大毛病，除了那个不存在的词

Admittedly, wholesome and robust systems of respondence to extreme behaviors这个词绝对没有复数！！下文记住全改了！！ are indispensable to our society. The better these systems function, the less loss单复数均可 the society will没必要，删 suffer in emergencies such as robbery, murder, disorder词语气太弱了，不符合“极端”，用chaos and rebellion两个动词用的相当不错. Take earthquakes (which put people into extreme situations and usually cause extreme behaviors 逗号like panic) in Japan for example. This nationcountry这两个词有区别，这里用nation 不妥 consisting of islands on the Pacific rim suffers earthquakes from time to time句子不好，前面改为consists,suffers前加thus. Japanese have embedded education and function一定要具体，改为“防震教育”什么的，即使后面有解释，这里也要加上。function何解？ in
every level of their society: children begin to learn self-help in earthquakes at kindergarten; buildings are designed to survive earthquakes; and这里似乎是指一种结果，与前面构不成并列 when an earthquake takes place, officials, polices, citizens and so forth,
all can involve in their due roles to save lives and property复数, and can restore order as quickly as does an earthquake destroy the order.不可思议的句子，不仅太夸张，而且罗嗦。改：can restore order quickly after an earthquake

wglxhUID: 152604

晚上改后面的,如果有新作的话,就改新作.从时间上来看,未见明显提高.另外,是不是应该适当的写写ARG?

galaxysongUID: 152834

有第二篇argument：
Argument 24

wglxhUID: 152604

On balance, however, to serve the common goal to diminish the frequencies and intensities of exorbitant and harmful bursts in behavior, the systems of respondence and of prevention should join hands. Turning back to the earthquakes in Japan. Behind the impressive scenes where all kinds of以后尽量不用这个词，事实上大多数出现它的地方删了它反而更好 people take concerted这个词用错了，你想表达的是“不约而同”，这个词表示“经过协商”，可以把整个谓语部分改成cooperate，不过似乎还得修饰一下 action, the penetration of mass awareness and consciousness of earthquake不是很明白你想表达的意思, by nationwide and ongoing trainings这个词没有复数 and legislations当”立法“讲时没有复数，以后当用抽象名词时，若你拿不准改用单数或复数，就赌单数, contribute greatly to the timely and efficient respondences to earthquakes这句不错. As to这里是介词 abate crime, people not only have to understand what punishment they will have when having broken a law???how to punish those criminals, but also need to know how to meet their demands legitimately. Therefore, both powerful police形容词 forces and constructive education should cooperate病句，原因是有了both,仔细想一下. Only in this way can our society advances别忘了前面的can,不加Sstably as like,as非常强调“是”的含义a cart with two wheels用错词了，“有两个轮子的两轮车”？？呵呵，with以及其后的东西删掉，是个好比喻的说.

结尾的内容和开头一样好，不要对我的大幅修改感到沮丧，毕竟语言不是一朝一夕之功

galaxysongUID: 152834

其实是经过预先组织和训练的，所以用concerted。

以后当用抽象名词时，若你拿不准改用单数或复数，就赌单数

Roger that!

“police forces”改成什么？

“a cart with two wheels”该怎么改？我想强调两个轮子。

papajohnsUID: 127722

15 "The stability of a society depends on how it responds to the extremes of human behavior."
------------------------
16:33
------------------------
Till now, we human beings have learnt a lot from the costly lessons about the extremes of human behavior. We have thus established and been operating all kinds of systems to respond to such extremes. The most reasonable and valuable way, however, isnot simply not quick and effective respondence alone, but a symmetric combination of both respondence I think response is more suitableand prevention.

Admittedly, wholesome and robust systems of respondence to extreme behaviors are indispensable to our society. The better these systems function, the less loss the society will suffer in emergencies such as robbery, murder, disorder and rebellion. Take earthquakes (which put people into extreme situations and usually cause extreme behaviors like panic) in Japan for example. This nation consisting of islands on the Pacific rim suffers earthquakes from time to time. Japanese have embedded education and function in every level of their society: children begin to learn self-help in earthquakes at kindergarten; buildings are designed to survive earthquakes; and when an earthquake takes place, officials, polices, citizens and so forth, all can involve in their due roles to save lives and property, and can restore order as quickly as does an earthquake destroy the order.

When human behavior explodes, nevertheless, it is always too late. Most extremes of human behavior grow gradually and thereby continually show warnings as some bombs keep beeping before they blast. Consider, for instance, crimes which trouble and harm modern societies. Murderers are seldom committed for no reason. Even if it seems to be that mere brutal impulse forced a murderer to kill an unspecific victim, further investigation can still reveal what miserable experiences of life have branded the convict with the hatred and desperate. Another telling example is justthe or its opposite--suicide. Psychological researches and studies have long proven that a person at times suggested others, although usually unconsciously, just like crying "help", before he or she finally ends in suicide.
这段是讲极端行为的爆发是有征兆的吧,是不是来一个总结,既然有征兆就可以在爆发前熄灭它
Understandably, it is more important and effective to prevent disasters in advance than to remedy them. A preventive system for helping suicide may light the hope of desperate people and thus save their lives. And reform in education systems may nurture children kindness, honesty and integration in personality in order to eradicate the latent dark side in their hearts. Prevention is more cost-efficient than remedy. A story of fire fighters of a town can illustrate this point. When no fire happens, these fire fighters do not only wait alert but also drive around the town and handle visible problems that may otherwise cause fire. By doing this, the fire accident rate dropped and stayed in an incredible low level.

On balance, however, to serve the common goal to diminish the frequencies and intensities of exorbitant and harmful bursts in behavior, the systems of respondence and of prevention should join hands. Turning back to the earthquakes in Japan. Behind the impressive scenes where all kinds of people take concerted action, the penetration of mass awareness and consciousness of earthquake, by nationwide and ongoing trainings and legislations, contribute greatly to the timely and efficient respondences to earthquakes. As to abate crime, people not only have to understand what punishment they will have when having broken a law, but also need to know how to meet their demands legitimately. Therefore, both powerful police forces and constructive education should cooperate. Only in this way can our society advances stably as a cart with two wheels.
本人水平低,觉得大侠的语言功底很好,所以只有学习的份.

galaxysongUID: 152834

papajohns补充的建议都很好。谢谢。

wglxhUID: 152604

TO G:1.我仍然不同意用concerted的含义,它太强调事先经过协商和计划之意义了. 其实可以用的词不少,如:,harmonious(这个词强调在情感和行动上都一致,和谐的配合达到共同目标,不是更好么?)accordant, concordant, congruous,congenial[这些词与harmonious同意]等.
2.police forces除了去掉复数外不用改了,是我昨天一时糊涂搞错了.你这里指的是"警力",我错觉是要说什么政治力量呢,呵呵,惭愧惭愧.
3.最后那个比喻,就直接用简单的cart好了,已经很形象了.
4.确实应该用response,谢谢那位同学提醒.

       抱怨:最近论坛速度狂慢,唉........

galaxysongUID: 152834

harmonious(这个词强调在情感和行动上都一致,和谐的配合达到共同目标,不是更好么?)accordant, concordant, congruous,congenial

好一串同义词，不过它们应该也有差异吧。

最近论坛不稳定，似乎又黑客攻击，以至于连搜索功能都被管理员禁了。