issue4, 学习类，请指教，谢谢啦

鱼的宝贝UID: 150861

4. No field of study can advances significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experiences to the field of study.

From the first page of last century, technologies and science has entered an era of fast developing age, and this trend leads every scientific region to be more specific and detailed. Crosses can be seen among numerous branches of studies, therefore technology and science is more like a net than paralleled paths. I agree with the claim that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to the field of study. There are some reasons cited afterwards.

As in the medical science, so many studies combine to each other to form new fields. One of the most obvious examples is the introduction of biochemistry, which is combined by biology and chemistry. In 1950’s, as the study of chromosome in biology became clear, it also faced a paradoxical situation that biologists lacked effective knowledge to explain the structure and element of the chromosome. While at the same time, chemists also hold a hot potato that the study of purine and pyrimidine were of no use unless they could afford to biology. Under this circumstance, biochemistry was formed, and this combination made a dramatic development both in two regions. Other instances such as cytogenetics, cytochemistry are all new fields that are formed when cytology meets other fields of studies.

Literature and history can also provide useful ideas for other fields of studies. As in science and technology, literature and history can provide critical thinking; afford scientists with the ability to weigh cause and effect, to see a result in perspective, to synthesize and relate. In genetics, for instance, no one can imagine that a successful geneticist such as Morgan knew nothing about literature and history, for he must draw a genetic map to study the ratio and relationship between patients and the normal in a genealogy during the analysis process. Without critical and logical thinking, geneticist can get nothing but superficial data. What’s more, literature and art cannot be separates with philosophy, which need profound culture and ideas. If Karl Marks cannot express his great idea so inspiringly and didactically, how could so many adherents gain power from his famous Marxism?

As for mathematics, its importance has immerged into every field of study. Without mathematics, computer would never be invented, without saying to form a field of study that called computer science. Without mathematics, beautiful scenery of France building would not exist, architect can be called artist because their drawings can never be afforded to construct a building without exact measure and calculation. Without mathematics, poor scientist in medical field would never know the results of their experiments, progress and development could just conceal themselves among the numerous data. Mathematics may be the most essential study in human life, because it is the start of every science and technology, and it could benefit human beings everywhere and every moment.

In my conclusion, nowadays studies such as science, literature, art and so on, cannot be studied indoors, especially to science and technology field, scientists should communicate more to discuss the development of each other, try to absorb more from others. It is a pity in nowadays colleges that they separate each specific study for students, that narrowed their mind and future development. Further methods must be adopted to solve the problem.

dawnspeakerUID: 152586

[QUOTE]4. No field of study can advances significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experiences to the field of study.

From the first page of last century, technologies and science has entered an era of fast developing age【这儿era 与age重复】, and this trend leads every scientific region【1、前面提到了tech.与scien.后面如果只泛泛的提到scientific，恐有不严密之嫌。2、region不如field更为常用】 to be more specific and detailed【不知道你是不是想表达complicated的意思，detailed一般不用在这种场合】. Crosses【-->interlinks?overlaps?】 can be seen among numerous branches of studies, therefore technology and science is more like a net than paralleled paths. I agree with the claim that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to the field of study. There are some reasons cited afterwards.【很欣赏最后一句，过渡很自然，可以做模板的啦】

As in the medical science, so many studies combine to each other to form new fields. One of the most obvious examples is the introduction of biochemistry, which is combined by biology and chemistry. In 1950’s, as the study of chromosome in biology became clear, it also faced a paradoxical situation that biologists lacked effective knowledge to explain the structure and element of the chromosome. While at the same time, chemists also hold a hot potato that the study of purine and pyrimidine were of no use unless they could afford to biology. Under this circumstance, biochemistry was formed, and this combination made a dramatic development both in two regions. Other instances such as cytogenetics, cytochemistry are all new fields that are formed when cytology meets other fields of studies.

Literature and history can also provide useful ideas for other fields of studies. As in science and technology, literature and history can provide critical thinking; afford scientists with the ability to weigh cause and effect, to see a result in perspective, to synthesize and relate. In genetics, for instance, no one can imagine that a successful geneticist such as Morgan knew nothing about literature and history, for he must draw a genetic map to study the ratio and relationship between patients and the normal in a genealogy during the analysis process. Without critical and logical thinking, geneticist can get nothing but superficial data. What’s more, literature and art cannot be separates with philosophy, which need profound culture and ideas. If Karl Marks cannot express his great idea so inspiringly and didactically, how could so many adherents gain power from his famous Marxism?【这里例子很好很好，但为什么偏用马克思呢？并不是说不可，但马爷爷的有些思想在西方还是有很大争议的。另外，其影响在斯处也并没有我们认为的那么强】

As for mathematics, its importance has immerged into every field of study. Without mathematics, computer would never be invented, without saying to form a field of study that called computer science. Without mathematics, beautiful scenery of France building would not exist, architect can be called artist because their drawings can never be afforded to construct a building without exact measure and calculation. Without mathematics, poor scientist in medical field would never know the results of their experiments, progress and development could just conceal themselves among the numerous data. Mathematics may be the most essential study in human life, because it is the start of every science and technology, and it could benefit human beings everywhere and every moment.

In my conclusion, nowadays studies such as science, literature, art and so on, cannot be studied indoors, especially to science and technology field, scientists should communicate more to discuss the development of each other, try to absorb more from others. It is a pity in nowadays colleges that they separate each specific study for students, that narrowed their mind and future development. Further methods must be adopted to solve the problem.


行文组织上，第一段很好
第二段有些逻辑问题
第三段有些偏题（还没到跑题的程度）

第二段的逻辑问题：第二段的逻辑主线如下[B] 文学历史能给让人思维严密有逻辑性-->思维的逻辑性是搞基因不可或缺的-->所以搞基因离不了文学历史[/B]显然忽视了文学历史并不是带来思维严密性的唯一途径。而本issue就是讨论离了什么什么行不行，这个论题讨论的不仅是存在性和重要性，还要涉及到唯一性。

第三段的偏题在于一直在提数学这个众所周知的基础学科对其他学科的必要性。而并未论及这个主题：如果没有搞数学的人把他们数学领域的思想带入其他学科的话，其他学科能不能有大的进展。没有人（outsider）把思想带入不意味着别的学科不可以用数学，也不意味着他们不可以学习并应用数学界的最新的成果
这个outsider很重要，我认为

鱼的宝贝UID: 150861

谢谢啦，意见真的是中肯啊：）
我会把马克思换成黑格尔的，这样应该就差不多了吧
可是如果只是唯一性的话，这个题好像就不是很好说了撒，查资料去咧

ｐｓ：我很也很喜欢弓箭手的：）

fishergirlUID: 152325

No.1 issue4, 学习类，请指教，谢谢啦
4. No field of study can advances significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experiences to the field of study.

From the first page of last century, technologies and science has entered an era of fast developing age, and this trend leads every scientific region to be more specific and detailed. Crosses can be seen among numerous branches of studies, therefore technology and science is more like a net than paralleled paths. I agree with the claim that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to the field of study. There are some reasons cited afterwards.

As in the medical science life science?, so many studies combine to each other to form new fields. One of the most obvious examples is the introduction of biochemistry, which is combined by biology and chemistry. In 1950’s, as the study of chromosome in biology became clear, it also faced a paradoxical situation that biologists lacked effective knowledge to explain the structure and element of the chromosome. While at the same time, chemists also hold a hot potato that the study of purine and pyrimidine were of no use unless they could afford to biology. Under this circumstance, biochemistry was formed 用主动语态是否好一些？, and this combination made a dramatic development both in two in the both? regions. Other instances such as cytogenetics, cytochemistry are all new fields that are formed when cytology meets other fields of studies.

Literature and history can also provide useful ideas for other fields of studies. As in science and technology, literature and history can provide critical thinking; afford scientists with the ability to weigh cause and effect, to see a result in perspective, to synthesize and relate. In genetics, for instance, no one can imagine that a successful geneticist such as Morgan knew nothing about literature and history, for he must draw a genetic map to study the ratio and relationship between patients and the normal in a genealogy during the analysis process. Without critical and logical thinking, geneticist can get nothing but superficial data. What’s more, literature and art cannot be separates with from? philosophy, which need profound culture and ideas. If Karl Marks cannot express his great idea so inspiringly and didactically, how could so many adherents gain power from his famous Marxism?

As for mathematics, its importance has immerged into every field of study. Without mathematics, computer would never be invented, without saying to form a field of study that called computer science. Without mathematics, beautiful scenery of France building would not exist, architect can be called artist because their drawings can never be afforded to construct a building without exact measure and calculation. Without mathematics, poor scientist in medical field would never know the results of their experiments, progress and development could just conceal themselves among the numerous data. Mathematics may be the most essential study in human life, because it is the start of every science and technology, and it could benefit human beings everywhere and every moment.

In my conclusion, nowadays studies such as science, literature, art and so on, cannot be studied indoors, especially to science and technology field, scientists should communicate more to discuss the development of each other, try to absorb more from others. It is a pity in nowadays colleges that they separate each specific study for students, that so that? narrowed their 指代不明 mind and future development. Further methods must be adopted to solve the problem.
呵呵，我还是刚开始准备作文，所以要向大家多学习。希望能够互相探讨。

猫咪meUID: 155478

From the first page of last century, technologies and science has（语法错误，主谓不一致） entered an era of fast developing age, and this trend leads every scientific region to be more specific and detailed. （第一句话的表示时间的词用得太多了，感觉不好。）Crosses can be seen among numerous branches of studies, therefore （therefore是副词，不能当连词用）technology and science is（抽象名词连用，其谓语是单数还是复数？个人认为是单数。只是提出来。） more like a net than paralleled paths. I agree with the claim that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to the field of study. There are some reasons cited afterwards.

As in the medical science, so many studies combine to each other to form new fields. One of the most obvious examples is the introduction of biochemistry, which is combined by biology and chemistry. In 1950’s, as the study of chromosome in biology became clear, it also faced a paradoxical situation that biologists lacked effective knowledge to explain the structure and element of the chromosome. While at the same time, chemists also hold a hot potato that the study of purine and pyrimidine were of no use unless they could afford to biology. Under this circumstance, biochemistry was formed, and this combination made a dramatic development both in two regions. Other instances such as cytogenetics, cytochemistry are all new fields that are formed when cytology meets other fields of studies.

Literature and history can also provide useful ideas for other fields of studies. As in science and technology, literature and history can provide critical thinking; afford scientists with the ability to weigh cause and effect, to see a result in perspective, to synthesize and relate. In genetics, for instance, no one can imagine that a successful geneticist such as Morgan knew nothing about literature and history, for he must draw a genetic map to study the ratio and relationship between patients and the normal in a genealogy during the analysis process. Without critical and logical thinking, geneticist can get nothing but superficial data. What’s more, literature and art cannot be separates with philosophy, which need profound culture and ideas. If Karl Marks cannot express his great idea so inspiringly and didactically, how could so many adherents gain power from his famous Marxism?

As for mathematics, its importance has immerged into every field of study. Without mathematics, computer would never be invented, without saying（用得不好，表示更不要说，用“let alone”） to form a field of study that called computer science. Without mathematics, beautiful scenery of France building would not exist, (俩个句子间没有连词) architect can be called artist because their drawings can never be afforded to construct a building without exact measure and calculation. Without mathematics, poor scientist in medical field would never know the results of their experiments, progress and development could just conceal themselves among the numerous data. Mathematics may be the most essential study in human life, because it is the start of every science and technology, and it could benefit human beings everywhere and every moment. （第三段和第四段，列举了好多交叉学科，也说明了学科间的联系，但是论证得很不深入，只是点到即止，而且更重要的是，有点跑题了，题目要论证的是“significant progress”，你只是讲了联系，没有提到这些学科怎莫因为其他学科而make important improvement.）

In my conclusion, nowadays studies such as science, literature, art and so on, cannot be studied indoors, especially to science and technology field, scientists should communicate more to discuss the development of each other, try to absorb more from others. It is a pity in nowadays colleges that they separate each specific study for students, that(不应该的错误，that 不能代表一个句子，which才可以，定于从句的知识)  narrowed their mind and future development. Further methods must be adopted to solve the problem.

结构很清晰，但是太多的例子了，说理少了些，并且例子的论述，我认为有点偏离主题了（三四段），第二段的例子举得很好。就文笔而言，应该是不错的，但要避免一些小的语法错误，至于句法，我没有仔细看。还有我觉得思路是否狭窄了点，以来就定位在交叉学科上，然后整篇文章也就全集中在这上面，也可以，但是思路还可以更宽的，嘻嘻，我也还在想呢，没有找到。
变粗的是我觉得用的不错的。
p.s. 喜欢那只猫！：）

鱼的宝贝UID: 150861

早就添加到收藏夹里面了，谢谢猫咪的修改：）
我这个看贴不回贴的毛病该改改了，８好意思：Ｐ