ISSUE130 搬寝室耽误了几天没写，感觉又退步了，大家来拍吧~~~

ValentinerUID: 121676

ISSUE130
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

Education, a process through which an individual develops both physically and mentally, plays a vital role in determining the destiny of the society, for the children who are being educated will inevitably be in charge of the future constructions of the society. Therefore, how children are socialized today, as the speaker holds, will have a profound impact on the orientation of the society, while the all-round development is of the same importance.

First of all, individual socialization is so indispensable in education that it may be relevant to one's future destiny and indirectly affect the social perspective. It is known to all that human beings are social animals, which can hardly live on unless be socialized well. To survive in contemporary society, one needs the ability of cooperation, competition, communication, and comprehension etc., which should be cultivated gradually when one is still at an early age. There is a story about how significant the socialization is in the process of a child's growing. An Irish girl was unfortunately stolen by a wolf when she was only a baby, but fortunately survive as a member of the wolves. When she was discovered by human scientists ten years later, she lost nearly all the human abilities including uttering like normal kid, walking with her two legs, and sleeping calmly in a soft bed. All the methods trying to socialized her are in vain, for she can merely howl instead of speaking and crawl rather than walk, and finally she had no choice but to die in the human society. From the tragedy of the Irish girl, it is self-evident that socialization is a crucial factor in education to the children, because the older a child is, the harder he/she can be changed in the living habits and thinking patterns.

Furthermore, as far as the social education system is concerned, although it nurtures many elites who have done great contributions to the whole society, there are still some flaws that may hamper the progress of both individuals and society. Generally speaking, today's education puts too much emphasis on dead facts rather than the creativity and imagination which may benefit a child's future success in the society. In this case, the ability of the children in communication and cooperation, which are far more vital than the formulas and theorems in children's future life, tends to be ignored easily. A case cited often is the dilemma between exam-oriented education and quality-oriented one. The former merely concerns about the marks in the exams but leaves out the cultivation of children's all-round development; while the later makes every effort to develop the abilities that the society calls for but can hardly guarantee the good marks that one needs to get further education. Nowadays, what we have been trying to do is to find the balance to make the children fit for the society and in return contribute it.

However, vital as socialization is, it should not obscure the significance of the all-round development of a child including his/her knowledge, creativity, and responsibility, which help to determine one's own destiny and directly orient the social development. Take Japan for example. After being defeated in the Second World War, Japan attached much importance in education which aimed at cultivating the children's ambition, aggressiveness and bravery etc. Thanks to Japanese education system after war, now Japan has become one of the most powerful economic nations in the world. From the case of Japan, we can easily concludes that the proper education system can doubtlessly expedite the social progress, because those who are being educated today will be the backbones and responsible for the perspective of the nation in future.

In a word, socialization indeed benefits individuals' future success and social process. However, overemphasis on it may lead to some extremes that hampers, or even undermines one's development. What we have to do is to prepare the elites who can not only get along with society well but also have good personal quality for the future.
切身感觉到ISSUE这个东东不能丢，一丢下来就得好久才能恢复状态，还有十几天就要考了，可是寝室搬家的事情还是搞得偶焦头烂额的，55555555555，好急啊~~~~~
大家帮我看看吧，我觉得这一篇还是有点跑题了，而且还严重超进：（

雪夭UID: 142334

总的来说没有跑题，这个题目也比较贴近生活
注意单复和主谓如下
we can easily concludes
to some extremes that hampers
不要用In a word,
怎么觉得例子好眼熟啊

DriverEntryUID: 143979

"First of all, individual socialization is so indispensable in education that it may be relevant to one's future destiny and indirectly affect the social perspective. "这段后面举的狼孩的例子不能很好地证明社会化会间接地影响社会。因为那个狼孩的只是影响了她自己的命运。建议你或者把中心句改一下，或者换个例子。
其实我觉得日本教育的例子倒是满有说服力的。可以放到第一段。
另外结尾写的不是很好，好象在结尾不应该再出现什么新的观点。不过我也说不清楚，因为我也写不好结尾。
这个文章语言还可以，句子也比较复杂。读起来也比较顺。：）
这个题目是很难写的，我也写过，比你差远了，都不好意思贴出来，呵呵。