issue40 科技类。限时.请大家批评

DriverEntryUID: 143979

40"Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."

The speaker asserts that scholars and researchers should insist on pursuing their individual interests and not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. I basically agree with the speaker, because encouraging by individual interests is the most effective way to go through difficulties in researching and capture fruits of science.

In nature, there are numerous mysteries, which strongly draw the attention of scientists. Before they acquire the final results of their research, or when their accomplishments just emerge, it is hard for scientists to predict how much these accomplishments will contribute society. Therefore, only by the guide of individual interests, could scientists insist on their research. The discovery of electricity is a case in point. When the scientist first found the phenomena of electricity, some reporters asked him to predict the potential use of it. The scientist replied like this: could you predict the contribution of a man when he was just a baby? As time passes, electricity becomes one of the fundamental factors in people's everyday life in modern world. There are many other important discoveries which have been in similar situations. If the scientists were concerned too much about the contribution to society, those discoveries would probably be given up at the beginning of the research, as they seemed useless at the beginning.

In addition, many great scientists seem eccentric with ordinary people, because they devote themselves to those absurd researches and do not care common things worried by most people. However, this is a significant nature of most scientists, without it they would be as banal as ordinary people, thus could not attain any great discoveries. The dean of my department once said (and I paraphrase): most great scientists are maniacs.
这段想举例子的，不过一下字想不起来了，哪位给个提示？谢谢

On the other hand, the scientists should also be concerned with the possible negative effects of their research to the society. As scientists are also human beings living on the Earth, they should obey the basic and important norms. And their research should not cause serious problems in society.  Clone of Human is an example. Although some scientists have strong interests in cloning human beings, they should not do that, because such research will cause many problems in ethics and morality. Unless we solve those potential problems, the scientists should not merely pursue their interests regardless of the social problems they will cause.

All in all, in the most cases, scientists should pursue their individual interests and put aside the contribution to the larger society. This is the most effective way to contribute the society in some sense. At the same time, scientists should also be careful not to break the basic norms of society.

galaxysongUID: 152834

The speaker asserts that scholars and researchers should insist on pursuing their individual interests and not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. [You make so little change.] I basically agree with the speaker, because encouraging by individual interests is the most effective way to go through difficulties in researching and capture fruits of science.[->I fundamentally agree, for individual interest(复数就是“利益”了！) is the most effective motivation for scholars and researchers to overcome difficulties in their way to discoveries.]

[中规中矩的开头]

In nature, there are numerous mysteries, which strongly draw the attention of scientists[->Nature is replete with mysteries that continually attract curious persons(namely, scholars and researchers) generation after generation].[So what? Does this fact have anything to do with your reasoning?] Before they acquire[->these people achieve] the final results[->success?] of their research, or when their accomplishments[“造诣”？] just emerge[I suggest you delete this sentence], it is hard for scientists to predict how much these accomplishments will contribute[+to] society.[Why? Do you have any example?] Therefore, only[So you are sure there is no other way?] by the guide of individual interests[->interest],[Delete the comma.] could scientists[->the researchers and scholars] insist[->persist] on their research. The discovery of electricity is a case in point. When the scientist[Faraday?] first found the phenomena of electricity, some reporters asked him to predict the potential use of it. The scientist replied like this[-like this]: could you predict the contribution of a man when he was just a baby?[Just quote it, since no one will look up the original words by this unnamed scientist.] As time passes, electricity becomes[->has become] one of the fundamental factors in people's everyday life in modern world[->one of the indispensible underpinnings of modern life that depends so much on electricity-driven(没这个词，但应当不要紧。) machines and tools]. There are many other important discoveries which have been in similar situations[Since you say "a case in point" that indicates your example is just one representative, this redundant sentence can and perhaps should be deleted, I'm afraid.]. If the scientists were concerned too much about the contribution to society, those discoveries would probably be given up at the beginning of the research, as they[Referring to "research"? Why plural?] seemed useless at the beginning.[Why 过去式?]
[This long body is a mixure of too many discrete ideas and claims, and thus lack consistency. Try to break it up into three or four paragraphs.]
先改这么多。

DriverEntryUID: 143979

多谢。不过我觉得这段都是围绕一个意思啊，不过可能没讲清楚。比如第一句是个铺垫，说明自然界确实可以引起学者的兴趣。有些地方是绝对了点。
ANYWAY，THX  AGAIN

鱼的宝贝UID: 150861

我来给你提示：其实就是你曾经举过得高斯Carl Friedrich Gauss，那个天才儿童，德国著名天文学家，物理学家及数学家。这个家伙是一个货真价实的科学疯子：他一生共发表著作323篇，提出科学创见404项，完成重大发明4项。丰硕的科研成果，植根于刻苦、顽强的精神。一次，他的妻子得了重病，这时他正在钻研一个问题。家里人告诉他夫人病得愈来愈重了。他听到后，仍在继续工作。不一会儿，又来人通知他：“夫人的病很重，请你立即回去。”他回答说：“我就去”，说罢，仍坐在那里继续工作。家里又再次来人：“夫人快要断气了！”他这才抬起头，但仍没离开他的座椅：“叫她等一下，我一定去。”
不顾及家庭，生活，只记者做实验，探求科学真理了。

还有哪个发现电的好像是这个人，富兰克林Benjamin Franlin，可不是什么默默无闻的人。应该没有错吧：）

一开始看见题目的时候将ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔ理解为利益，看见你的论点会有一点生气：
科学当然是为了社会服务，哪里是为了个人的利益？！
１社会的发展得益于科学的进步。很多科学家为了人类的进步贡献出了自己的一生
２科学家应抱有无私的精神来进行研究。只有正确的人生观和价值观才能使自己的研究不断地进行下去，从而受益于与社会。
３有一些科学家为了自身的利益而进行研究，把科学当作自己职位提升的一个砝码，例子很多见，大学里比比皆是，这种科学研究的动机不纯，自然也不会有大的进步。

看到后来才发现你对ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔ的理解是兴趣，就算是这样，科学的最终目的都是为了服务于社会阿，不管这个研究是不是能马上应用，必然有一天人们会发现他的闪光点的。例子如你所说的那个电的，还有遗传领域跳跃基因沉寂的几十年，都可以说明的。反过来说如果科学家只是为了兴趣才研究，那社会不就乱了吗？就像你说的克隆的那个例子（ｐｓ尽管ｃｌｏｎｅ可以用于名词，但是大多数文献上面都以ｃｌｏｎｉｎｇ作为他的名词形式，ｃｌｏｎｅ用于动词居多）

还有，每一段的第一句是ｔｓ，老外很多情况下就看第一句来判断你的思路的，不要给什么铺垫地说

有一点激动，８好意思～～见谅

galaxysongUID: 152834

In addition, many great scientists seem eccentric with ordinary people, because they devote themselves to those absurd researches and do not care common things worried by most people. However, this is a significant nature of most scientists, [New sentence!]without it they would be as banal as ordinary people, thus could not attain any great discoveries. The dean of my department once said (and I paraphrase): most great scientists are maniacs. [可以加引号，因为你已经paraphrase了。]
这段想举例子的，不过一下字想不起来了，哪位给个提示？谢谢
[For example, John Forbes Nash Jr，a genius mathematician, founder of gaming theory.
“纳什是普林斯顿有名的数学天才，却在风华正茂、创造力最佳之际患精神分裂症，在随后的30年中几乎成为一个废人，但他最后竟然奇迹般地康复了。”“他认为自己的博弈论研究是与超弦理论类似的高度智力课题，其实用性也许是次要的或者可疑的。”这个例子本身很好，但用英语嘛……]

On the other hand, the scientists should also be concerned with the possible negative effects of their research to the society. As scientists are also human beings living on the Earth, they should obey the basic and important norms. And their research should not cause serious problems in society. Clone[Adjective?] of Human[Why capital?] is an example.[->Take cloning of human for example.] Although some scientists have strong interests in cloning human beings, they should not do that,[How simple!] because such research will cause many problems in ethics and morality. Unless we solve those potential problems, the scientists should not merely pursue their interests regardless of the social problems they will cause.
[This body is somewhat orderless.]

All in all,[Hehe...Common in IELTS essays.] in the[-] most cases, scientists should pursue their individual interests and put aside the contribution to the larger society. This is the most effective way to contribute the society in some sense. At the same time, scientists should also be careful not to break the basic norms of society.[Seeming unfinished.]

[这个题目l-sunshine等人曾讨论过并写过，我也发过言。你有时间的话不妨找找（至少是10页之后）。
你的关键问题是，重要得分论点大部分全集中在第一个body里了。
另外，如果说科学家（如果你非要用这个词的话）不用关心贡献，又怎么关注危害呢？科技一向是double-edged sword，不可能只关注一面的。
还有一个问题，如果说科学家不用（也不能）为研究成果的影响好坏负责，那么由谁负责呢？想想吧。]

galaxysongUID: 152834

鱼的宝贝是教科学人物传记的吗？好厉害。
我用unnamed表示没有提及姓名，不是默默无闻的意思。

DriverEntryUID: 143979

不错，先下了。考下来慢慢看。

papajohnsUID: 127722

我觉得科学的最终目的是揭示自然和人类世界的真相,并不是服务于社会.(这太实际了吧)
它的推动力是人类的好奇心.
法拉第研究电磁感应并不是预见它后来的应用,而是处于对这种现象的一种热情和对真理的追求.

papajohnsUID: 127722

呵呵,我回的是鱼的宝贝的倒数第3段的话.
galaxysong意见很中肯,pfpf.

鱼的宝贝UID: 150861

小时候上奥数班专门有一节课就是讲高斯Carl Friedrich Gauss，弗兰克林专门研究过，所以知道一些，嘿嘿

猫咪meUID: 155478

40"Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."

The speaker asserts that scholars and researchers should insist on pursuing their individual interests and not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. I basically agree with the speaker, because encouraging by individual interests is the most effective way to go through difficulties in researching and capture fruits of science.

In nature, there are numerous mysteries, which strongly draw the attention of scientists. Before they acquire the final results of their research（复数）, or when their accomplishments just emerge, it is hard for scientists to predict how much these accomplishments will contribute society. Therefore, only by the guide of individual interests, could scientists insist on their research. The discovery of electricity is a case in point. When the scientist first found the phenomena of electricity, some reporters asked him to predict the potential use of it. The scientist（最好能找到他的名字） replied like this: could you predict the contribution of a man when he was just a baby? As time passes, electricity becomes one of the fundamental factors in people's everyday life in modern world（读起来不顺，可以不要，或者放在electricity 后面）. There are many other important discoveries which have been in（要加the） similar situations. If the   scientists were concerned too much about the contribution to society, those discoveries would probably be given up at the beginning of the research, as they seemed useless at the beginning.（重复beginningl了）

In addition, many great scientists seem eccentric with（这个介词的用法尼确定吗？） ordinary people, because they devote themselves to those absurd（是贬义词吧） researches and do not care common things worried by most people. However, this is a significant nature of most scientists, without it they would be as banal as ordinary people, thus could not attain any great discoveries. The dean of my department once said (and I paraphrase): most great scientists are maniacs. （这一段觉得有点对普通老百姓做人身攻击了，小心啊。）
这段想举例子的，不过一下字想不起来了，哪位给个提示？谢谢

On the other hand, the scientists should also be concerned with (该用主动) the possible negative effects of their research to（勇on） the society. As scientists are also human beings living on the Earth, they should obey the basic and important norms. And their research should not cause serious problems in society. Clone of Human is an example. Although some scientists have strong interests in cloning human beings, they should not do that, because such research will cause many problems in ethics and morality. Unless we solve those potential problems, the scientists should not merely pursue their interests regardless of the social problems they will cause.

All in all, in the most cases, scientists should pursue their individual interests and put aside the contribution to the larger society. This is the most effective way to contribute the society in some sense. At the same time, scientists should also be careful not to break the basic norms of society.
就是觉得论证的不深入。特别是倒数第二段。