【独立写作】wenwen930新手开篇贴-求批改，并加入写作小组”

wenwen930UID: 3405702

亲们好，由于我2月22号要三战T，我是按照机经一天写一篇，烦请热心版友帮我批改。
前两次作文一次22，一次20，都不是很高，我的水平也就是六级480的水平。
希望多多学习多多指教！

以下是我几天自己写的一篇独立，1h。
对于自己烂的不行的水平深表羞愧，也不管三七二十一了，望各位大侠指点！
给写作小组出一个建议：
每天的题目能不能按机经来出？会大大见效。

作文题目：
It's better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice？

Some people believe that the best way to solve problem is to listen to the advice of friends and family. Others argue that the most beneficial way to solve problem is through personal experience and knowledge.

In my perspective, it is significant to solve problem through personal experience and knowledge. I believe this because one usually lose his own judgment when he is accustomed to follow others, because one could promote his own ability to find, analyze and solve problems quickly, because one have different opinions and views on solution with his family and friends.

There have been many times in my life when I follow my parent’s advice, thus, I became mindless as soon as I fully relied on my parents. For instance, I was faced with one problem at the final year of high school: What university and major I wanted to take? I felt confused at that time caused I even hadn’t any idea about future career. I used to leaving the decision in the hands of my parents. Therefore, I had to accept the college which was suitable for me in their mind. However, it was turned out that that I led an unhappy life in that school. I regretted never trying to handle problem by my experiences. I hold the idea that one learn something well if he experiences it for himself.

I think it is vital to solve problem through experiences and knowledge since it is much more efficient way to promote our ability. For example, in order to make amends failing to decide favorite university, I decided to go to college without parents’ company. Facing a new environment, I was able to deal with common situation without losing my cool. I did everything by myself, such as making the bed and vacuuming. Then I realized that my capacity to observing, analyzing and solving problem was improving rapidly.

Finally, when a family member or a friend tells me to do something, I valued his opinion. However, there are some occasions when I do not fully agree with their opinions. In these cases, I want to try out that experience. For example, if a friend tells me that the crisis of weight would not be resolved by swimming because it is dangerous. I might still go to swimming. It’s more possible that we will have different opinions on whether swimming was good to lose weight.