ISSUE150,请指教

maniacUID: 155886

ISSUE 150

Will the tourism soon become obsolete because of television and worldwide computer connections? The speaker contends that it is, for the reason that people can become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited before by these modern ways. Nevertheless, it does not mean that tourism will be out of date, and I strongly disagree with the speaker’s claim. Moreover, in my opinion, the result will be exactly contrary—the modern technology such as television and Internet would not only do no impediment to tourism, but also make tourism more prosperous.

According to the speaker’s assertion, if a person have a view of a beautiful landscape and hear the introduction of that place from television, or he can get some wonderful and amazing pictures of that landscape and get plenty of information about it from other user’s computers and Internet, he will be content with all the things he has acquired so that he feels that it is no necessary to make a real tour. It is obvious that this assertion based on the assumption that people go somewhere to have tourism just for simple understanding of the landscape. Admittedly, we can know the history of a country, recognize the culture of a nation, and even understand the architecture of an ancient and magnificent building from TV and Internet. Nevertheless, does that things or something seems superficial like that contain completely different quarters of tourism? Emphatically, no. Common sense tell us that when we are traveling, we do not only want to watch the wonderful sights by our eyes, but also like to listen to the beautiful melody and harmonious sound from nature, taste all kinds of unique and novel foods, and smell the fragrance of flowers in full bloom, even touch and feel the vestiges of an ancient civilization. Whether how detailed the TV program or the Internet can tell you, all these things you will never get, if you do not go traveling by yourself. For example, people who has never been to the Great Wall which is visible in naked eye on the moon absolutely cannot understand how real splendid it is and what a great job the ancient Chinese did. Therefore, in this aspect, whether be taken as a kind of diversion in our daily life or as a source of knowledge, or only is a personal hobby, tourism is indispensable for our human beings now.

In addition, we can look back the past fifty years ever since the invention of the television. According to the speaker, we nowadays should stay at home and sit on the sofa, watching TV and using our eyes to travel all over the world. The way that taking some luggage and traveling the world by your own feet should be eliminated and become out of date long ago. But in fact, as we know, with the development of the quality and standard of life, although more and more family buy TV set, the number of people goes to travel is not declined at the same time. To be exact, the number is increasing gradually. The reason of this phenomenon, I consider, is that the plentiful program on TV enlarge the field of people’s vision so that more and more people make travels out of their curiosity. And I believe the new popularity—Internet and the connections between computers—will take the same effect on peoples like the television. In a word, TV and Internet stimulate the development of tourism to some extent.

Finally, Internet, which grows rapidly in recent years, plays a very positive role in the development of tourism. It does not only stimulate the development, but also make our traveling more convenience. For example, when you work out a plan for traveling during your next vacation, you can order air ticket and hotel room through Internet beforehand. It sometimes saves your money, time and energy. Internet is already so widely used in tourism; how it says Internet hinder the development of the tourism?

In sum, the speaker's assertion is preposterous, whether from the angle of ourselves or from the objective facts, the modern technology such as TV and Internet will only promote the development of tourism, and the tourism will also only more prosperous.

结尾不太会，请指教。

第一篇，3,25考，还望多指点，谢谢

gdhdannyUID: 125843

Will the tourism soon become obsolete because of television and worldwide computer connections? The speaker contends that it is（that it is = so）, for the reason that people can become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited before by these modern ways. Nevertheless, it does not mean that tourism will be out of date, and I strongly disagree with the speaker’s claim（and后面这个分句可以和下面的内容合并）. Moreover, in my opinion, the result will be exactly contrary—the modern technology such as television and Internet would not only do no impediment（do impediment to = impede） to tourism, but also make tourism more prosperous.

According to the speaker’s assertion, if a person have（seen） a view of a beautiful landscape and hear（heard） the introduction of that place from television, or he（性别） can get some wonderful and amazing pictures of that landscape and get plenty of information about it from other user’s（other user’s = other’s） computers and Internet（注意and前后的两方面是动词的宾语，显然internet不是other’s的，所以要注意顺序）, he （性别）will be content with all the things he（性别） has acquired so that he feels that it is no（not） necessary to make a real tour. It is obvious that this assertion based on the assumption that people go somewhere to have tourism just for simple understanding of the landscape.（这样的过渡句是非常值得提倡的，很容易出彩，接着往下看） Admittedly, we can know the history of a country, recognize the culture of a nation, and even understand the architecture of an ancient and magnificent building from TV and Internet. Nevertheless, does that things or something（or something啰嗦） seems superficial like that contain completely different quarters（different realms或者all the corners of） of tourism? Emphatically, no（范文真是没白看啊，好！）. Common sense tell（tells） us that when we are traveling, we do not only want（do not only want?）to watch the wonderful sights by our eyes, but also like to listen to the beautiful melody and harmonious sound from nature, taste all kinds of unique and novel foods, and smell the fragrance of flowers in full bloom, even touch and feel the vestiges of an ancient civilization. （排比得好！）Whether how（whether how?） detailed the TV program or the Internet can tell you, all these things you will never get, if you do not go traveling by yourself. For example, people who has never been to the Great Wall which is visible in naked eye on the moon absolutely cannot understand how real splendid it is（how splendid it is in reality）and what a great job the ancient Chinese did. Therefore, in this aspect, whether be（be 没用）taken as a kind of diversion in our daily life or as a source of knowledge, or only is a personal hobby, tourism is indispensable for our human beings now.

In addition, we can look back the past fifty years ever since the invention of the television（TS应该描述再清楚些）. According to the speaker, we nowadays should stay at home and sit on the sofa, watching TV and using our eyes to travel all over the world. The way that taking some luggage and traveling the world by your own feet should be eliminated and become out of date long ago. But in fact, as we know, with the development of the quality and standard of life, although more and more family buy TV set, the number of people goes to travel is not declined at the same time. To be exact, the number is increasing gradually. The reason of this phenomenon, I consider, is that the plentiful program on TV enlarge the field of people’s vision so that more and more people make travels out of their curiosity. And I believe the new popularity—Internet and the connections between computers—will take the same effect on peoples like the television. In a word, TV and Internet stimulate the development of tourism to some extent.
这段论得很精彩，有层次感，也很连贯。

Finally, Internet, which grows rapidly in recent years, plays a very positive role in the development of tourism. It does not only stimulate the development, but also make our traveling more convenience. For example, when you work out a plan for traveling during your next vacation, you can order air ticket and hotel room through Internet beforehand. It sometimes saves your money, time and energy. Internet is already so widely used in tourism; how it says（这个文句有点问题） Internet hinder the development of the tourism?
这段开始看着比较险，又要跑的趋势，不过最后由拽回来了，不错。

In sum, the speaker's assertion is preposterous（这个词不太合适）, whether from the angle of ourselves or from the objective facts, the modern technology such as TV and Internet will only promote the development of tourism, and the tourism will also only more prosperous.

很好的一篇文章，应该说非常不错了。范文的感觉很浓。
语言上也比较多样化。

美中不足使论点设计太过主观，ETS的解题部分讲过，即便你完全同意或者否定一个观点，也要考虑到你的反面是如何反驳的，简单说，就是应该有适当的让步。

加油干，你肯定没问题的。