issue 178 帮忙看一下吧，还有九天就考了！

莫名NUID：146481

issue178"It is possible to pass laws that control or place limits on people's behavior, but legislation cannot reform human nature. Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts and minds."

我觉得自己在倒数第二段上表达得不是很好，能帮忙看一下吗？
再帮我看看全文的逻辑吧，谢谢：）

Although science and technology is developing dramatically, crimes are increasing without any view of declining.  Murders, robberies, theft, some and other crimes are taking place every minute in the world; furthermore, humanity faces the greatest challenge that it has never met before.  On the occasion, several series of laws have been added into the legislation system to perfect it; yet, another question arises that can humanity, including one's heart and mind, be changed with the limitation of the laws?  In my opinion, it is true that laws do control people's behavior; yet, people's nature cannot be changed by laws but by education.

Laws, with striation, are necessary and can deter some people who try to break laws by punishing criminals.  People are a group of animals with an ability of thinking, which differs from other kind of creatures; also, through thinking, they have their own ideas of anything in the world, that is, they react totally different when facing the same thing, no matter the action is proper or not.  Thus, when people come together, some rules have to be done to place limits on people; otherwise, the whole society would be brought into chaos, everyone on behalf of his or her own, never considering others' right.  Laws, on the other hand, have rights to punish criminals, which may give people cautions not to follow them.  Drivers, who are fearful to have their driver license cancelled, do not dare to ride cars after drinking; burglars, who are afraid to be closed into a cell, may give up the thought of breaking into other's houses; witnesses, who are frightened to be accused of dissection of courts and justice, may not try to tell lies in a court.  Therefore, without laws, people would be causal and have no feeling of disobeying rules.

On the other hand, laws cannot reform human nature, while moral standards can.  Although laws have some effects on those who want to break laws, it cannot stop those who harm benefits of others, groups, which are in the limitation of laws.  For example, when a student cheats in an examination, can we send him to the police office?  Or when a person jumps a queue, can we accuse him in the court?  We cannot, for laws do not fix that students cannot cheat in an examination or citizens should follow lines, but we are still so angry with those people.  What can we do?  We calls for moral standards, which tells people what to do and what not to do in daily life.  Anyone, who breaks the standards, will be by others and thus, have a guilty along with him, unless he apologizes or makes consumptions for loss.  Students cheating in the exams will be recorded with given marks of zero, and people who want to jump a queue will be blamed by others in line, which may tell those and other people that doing in this way will do something bad on others.  Clearly, only laws but not moral standards, people will continuously harm others as well as themselves.

To set up moral standards, we should depend on education.  In our childhood, parents often told us to be loving—when seeing old people on the bus, we should give our seats to them; when crossing the roads, we should first pay attention to the traffic lights; when answering questions, we should tell the truth.  With growth, we are taught to be friendly, responsible, active and so on, which would build up a warm circumstance in society.  Songs on the air, advertisements on TV, leaflets sent out in the streets, may insert the concept of morality into our mind, helping maintain the order of this world.  Obviously, education cultivates people’s heart and mind.

All in all, although laws can rule the society to some extend, it cannot work lonely. Only moral standards, set up by education, marry with laws, are people’s hearts and minds changed better and better.

DriverEntryUID：143979

issue178"It is possible to pass laws that control or place limits on people's behavior, but legislation cannot reform human nature. Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts and minds."

我觉得自己在倒数第二段上表达得不是很好，能帮忙看一下吗？
再帮我看看全文的逻辑吧，谢谢：）

Although science and technology is developing dramatically, crimes are increasing without any view of declining. Murders, robberies, theft, some and other crimes are taking 好象刚用被动place every minute in the world; furthermore, humanity faces the greatest challenge that it has never met before. On the occasion, several series of laws have been added into the legislation system to perfect it; yet, another question arises that can humanity, including one's heart and mind, be changed with the limitation of the laws? In my opinion, it is true that laws do control people's behavior; yet, people's nature cannot be changed by laws but by education.
开头不错

Laws, with striation条纹？, are necessary and can deter some people who try to break laws by punishing criminals. People are a group of animals with an ability of thinking, which differs from other kind of creatures; also, through thinking, they have their own ideas of anything in the world, that is, they react totally different when facing the same thing, no matter the action is proper or not. Thus, when people come together, some rules have to be done to place limits on people; otherwise, the whole society would be brought into chaos, everyone on behalf of his or her own, never considering others' right. Laws, on the other hand, have rights to punish criminals, which may give people cautions not to followcontravene them. Drivers, who are fearful to have their driver license cancelled, do not dare to ridedrive cars after drinking; burglars, who are afraid to be closed into a cell, may give up the thought of breaking into other's houses; witnesses, who are frightened to be accused of dissection解剖？ of courts and justice, may not try to tell lies in a court. Therefore, without laws, people would be causal and have no feeling of disobeying rules.


On the other hand, laws cannot reform human nature, while moral standards can. Although laws have some effects on those who want to break laws, it cannot stop those who harm benefits of others, groups, which are inOUT？ the limitation of laws. For example, when a student cheats in an examination, can we send him to the police office? Or when a person jumps a queue, can we accuse him in the court? We cannot, for laws do not fix that students cannot cheat in an examination or citizens should follow lines, but we are still so angry with those people. What can we do? We calls for moral standards, which tells people what to do and what not to do in daily life. Anyone, who breaks the standards, will be +BLAMED？ by others and thus, have a guilty along with him, unless he apologizes or makes consumptions COMPENSATION？for loss. Students cheating in the exams will be recorded with given marks of zero, and people who want to jump a queue will be blamed by others in line, which may tell those and other people that doing in this way will do something bad on others. Clearly, only laws but not WITHOUT moral standards, people will continuously harm others as well as themselves.

To set up moral standards, we should depend on education. In our childhood, parents often told us to be loving—when seeing old people on the bus, we should give our seats to them; when crossing the roads, we should first pay attention to the traffic lights; when answering questions, we should tell the truth. With growth, we are taught to be friendly, responsible, active and so on, which would build up a warm circumstance in society. Songs on the air, advertisements on TV, leaflets sent out in the streets, may insert the concept of morality into our mind, helping maintain the order of this world. Obviously, education cultivates people’s heart and mind.

All in all, although laws can rule the society to some extend, it cannot work lonely. Only moral standards, set up by education, marry with laws, are people’s hearts and minds changed better and better.
感觉还可以。全文结构如下：
1）        法律只能防止人们犯罪
2）        法律不能防止人们违反道德
3）        只有教育能够净化心灵。
如果你对题目理解的重点放在：but legislation cannot reform human nature这的话，那么你的论证还是比较充分的。没什么问题。另外我觉得你的文章还是比较生动的，能给人面目一新的感觉，这点很难得。
加油！

莫名NUID：146481

谢谢指点。
我的用词还是很有问题的说，会好好注意的。
^_^

fishergirlUID：152325

issue178"It is possible to pass laws that control or place limits on people's behavior, but legislation cannot reform human nature. Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts and minds."

我觉得自己在倒数第二段上表达得不是很好，能帮忙看一下吗？
再帮我看看全文的逻辑吧，谢谢：）

Although science and technology is developing dramatically, crimes are increasing without any view of declining. Murders, robberies, theft, some and other crimes are taking place every minute in the world; furthermore, humanity faces the greatest challenge that it has never met before. On the occasion, several series of laws have been added into the legislation system to perfect it; yet, another question arises that 请问，这个that 引导的是什么成分？ can humanity, including one's heart and mind, be changed with the limitation of the laws? In my opinion, it is true that laws do control people's behavior; yet, people's nature cannot be changed by laws but by education. 觉得你这个观点补充得很好！

Laws, with striation, are necessary and can deter some people who try to break laws by punishing criminals. People are a group of animals with an ability of thinking, which differs from other kind of creatures; also, through thinking, they have their own ideas of anything in the world, that is, they react totally different when facing the same thing, no matter the action is proper or not. Thus, when people come together, some rules have to be done to place limits on people; otherwise, the whole society would be brought into chaos, everyone on behalf of his or her own, never considering others' right. Laws, on the other hand, have rights to punish criminals, which may give people cautions not to follow them. Drivers, who are fearful to have their driver license cancelled, do not dare to ride cars after drinking; burglars, who are afraid to be closed into a cell, may give up the thought of breaking into other's houses; witnesses, who are frightened to be accused of dissection of courts and justice, may not try to tell lies in a court. Therefore, without laws, people would be causal and have no feeling of disobeying rules.

On the other hand 好像都和on the one hand连用, laws cannot reform human nature, while moral standards can. Although laws have some effects on those who want to break laws, it cannot stop those who harm benefits of others, groups, which are in the limitation of laws. For example, when a student cheats in an examination, can we send him to the police office? Or when a person jumps a queue, can we accuse him in the court? We cannot, for laws do not fix that students cannot cheat in an examination or citizens should follow lines, but we are still so angry with those people. What can we do? We calls for moral standards, which tells people what to do and what not to do in daily life. Anyone, who breaks the standards, will be by others and thus, have a guilty along with him, unless he apologizes or makes consumptions for loss. Students cheating in the exams will be recorded with given marks of zero, and people who want to jump a queue will be blamed by others in line, which may tell those and other people that doing in this way will do something bad on others. Clearly, only laws but not moral standards, people will continuously harm others as well as themselves.

To set up moral standards, we should depend on education. In our childhood, parents often told us to be loving—when seeing old people on the bus, we should give our seats to them; when crossing the roads, we should first pay attention to the traffic lights; when answering questions, we should tell the truth. With growth, we are taught to be friendly, responsible, active and so on, which would build up a warm circumstance in society. Songs on the air, advertisements on TV, leaflets sent out in the streets, may insert the concept of morality into our mind, helping maintain the order of this world. Obviously, education cultivates people’s heart and mind.

All in all, although laws can rule the society to some extend, it cannot work lonely. Only moral standards, set up by education, marry with laws, are people’s hearts and minds changed better and better.

拜读完了，觉得已经很好了啊！不过，看到倒数第三段的时候，我想你开篇说是教育可以帮助人们改变自身的性格，怎么这里却长篇累牍的强调道德了呢？所幸到下一段你转回到了教育上，但总觉得这两段连起来看，有点头重脚轻。