Issue3 看在偶贴这么多提纲的份上，嘿嘿～

samsiteUID: 156263

大家帮我看看吧，我觉得还有许多许多地方需要改，
希望多多意见多多改：）
谢过！

3."It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations."
3． 我们应该把更多的钱用在当前的问题上，而不是用在可能有助于我们后代的长期的研究项目上。

There is a controversy over the issue that, whether a government should allocate its limited money for immediate social problems, or spend it on long-term research for the future development.  Some economists claim that it is more important to solve urgent problems, while others argue that long-term research is also desired.  In my analysis, the government should call for a balance on its payouts between immediate social problem and long-term research, which equally of great importance to the development of a certain nation.

On the one hand, a government must allocate enough money for immediate social problems in order to protect the whole nation from unsatisfiction, under some circumstances.  To illustrate this point clearly, here is a striking example that is rather compelling.  Nowadays, with the urbanization of most nations, the problem of urban crime attracts more and more social attention.  But in Singapore, the local government successfully solves this problem, at least partly, with efforts on financial support.


Obviously, with out allocating money for these immediate social problems by the government, the nation may possibly become out of order.  Here is another striking example that can cast some light to my point of view.  In Rwanda, a country of south-central Africa, the people suffer from violence and crime for a long time, and the local government there, if it exists, cannot offer any support on this problem.  Unless a government solves immediate social problems quickly, many disadvantages the society may suffer from it.

However, on the other hand, the government should also spend enough money on long-term research in order to shrive the society on the long run.  Take the development of Japan for example.  After the World War II, this country was nearly destroyed by the war.  Since then, the Yamato allocated a large sum of money on long-term research in order to recover its technology, and it came out to be a wise investment: Japan was considered to be one of the most rapid-growing country during the second half of 20th century.  Without a far sight towards future, the government may easily become shortsighted and refuse to spend any money on reach-far development, which can cause many problems in future.

In my conclusion, I must point out that a government should adjust its financial policy in order to efficiently spend limited money on both immediate social problems and long-term researches, so that the society can not only manage to solve urgent problems, but also be shrive on the long run.

As the proverb goes, "When there is a will, there is a way."  By casting our views ahead, we will find a way that benefits our society, at present and in future.

imongUID: 140258

这种模版会吃大亏的。

On the one hand, a government must allocate enough money for immediate social problems in order to protect the whole nation from unsatisfiction, under some circumstances. To illustrate this point clearly, here is a striking example that is rather compelling. 我怎么就不这么认为呢？？Nowadays, with the urbanization of most nations, the problem of urban crime attracts more and more social attention. But in Singapore, the local government successfully solves this problem, at least partly, with efforts on financial support. 我真看不出来这一段如何就如同文章所说做到forceful了，简直是太weak了。

第一body和第二body就是在堆例子，而且例子又不怎么贴切，基本没什么有效论证。整篇文章不会超过4分，因为最好的论证水平也只局限于第三段。

扔掉模版，放开自己的思路，好好看看范文和前人的文章经验先！

samsiteUID: 156263

十分感谢！
这正是我隐隐约约担心的问题！

谢谢imong：）

还有一个比较致命的问题——body段落主题句之后，是直接跟例子好呢，还是再展开说明好呢？

Thanks again~ Samsite

imongUID: 140258

具体情况具体分析，没有一成不变的定论
看看别人怎么写的

samsiteUID: 156263

Thank you~BTW, 还有17天……