issue153 详细点评 by paisley

rukawaUID: 156277

153. Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively

The skill of critical thinking is now arousing more and more people’s attention in education system. People nowadays regarded the teaching methods as never bring a little skepticism towards the materials being studied is outmolded. Some observers pointed out that it will be welcomed for students to question the materials they received rather than accept them totally without further considerations. I wholeheartedly agree with their opinion.

In retrospect, we will find out there indeed exist some problems in nowadays education system. Students are encouraged to memorize the stubborn facts in their learning studying, the teachers always regard the students who can do well in every exams and homeworks as good students, on the opposite, the students who fail to pass the exams with flying colors are classified into the catalog of bad students. The education system now are emphasizing “stuff” something into the students in their mind, neglecting that the true value of education is to draw something out from the students, and cultivate the ability to thinking creatively and critically. The old way to educate the young would hinder people and the society as a whole to reach the propersity.

The critical thinking skill can effectively enhance the ability for people to contribute their knowledge and skill more well for the society. Supposed that the graduate from colleges and universities are all significant in their knowledge and skill in their specific fields, without the critical thinking, all the things they know may amount to nothing in their practical life. That is why graduates are constantly complain that they know nearly nothing in their college life, although they are busying studying in these four or five years on campus. The solution to the embarrassing situation for the education system is that the cultivation of critical thinking should be introduced on campus. Equipped by the critical thinking, students are intend to better understand the actual things that they are supposed to understand, in addition, the critical thinking also is benefical in help people to apply what they learned in the actual world.

When we are looking back in the history, we can see a list of name who had contributed to the whole human being according to their critical thinking, the examples can be easily multiply in the history of science, as Galletto, when he discover that the speed that two weight falling down is not as people had long take for granted, what he do is not comprise his ideas. He standed on the top of the tower, telling everyone that what they had learned about the speed of the two thing with different weight is different is wrong. His discovery makes it possible for further investigation about the gravity which is a milestone in the history of development of science. It is the power of critical thinking. To encourage the students to  bring a certain skepticism is to some extent, remove the obstacles in the way of the progress of human being. And help human being to make a even significant achievement.

However, to encourage the students to bring a certain skepticisms towards what they had learned is not equaled to doubt everything they learned. If so, their learning would be ineffective they spent too much time in questing rather than answering them.

To sum up, the students should be encouraged to bring skepticisms to what they had learned, not accept all without any considerations as before, since the critical thinking is playing so pivotal role in applying what we had learned to the practical life, and make any progress and discovery

paisleyUID: 64183

153. Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively

The skill of critical thinking is now arousing more and more people’s attention in education system. People nowadays regarded the teaching methods as never bring a little skepticism towards the materials being studied is outmolded句法复杂了点，还是分开说好. Some observers pointed out that it will（前面是pointed，后面应该用would） be welcomed for students to question the materials they received rather than accept them totally without further considerations. I wholeheartedly agree with their opinion.

In retrospect, we will find out there indeed exist some problems in nowadays （nowadays不做形容词，应是present）education system. Students are encouraged to memorize the stubborn facts in their learning studying（learning和studying选一词即可）, the teachers always regard the students who can do well in every exams and homeworks（该词不可数） as good students, on the opposite, the students who fail to pass the exams with flying colors（这个短语意思含糊，需要明确一下） are classified into the catalog of bad students. The education system now are emphasizing “stuff” （应用ing形式）something into the students in their mind（students’ minds即可）, neglecting that the true value of education is to draw something out from the students, and cultivate the ability to thinking creatively and critically. 这几句话很不错！The old way to educate the young would hinder people and the society as a whole to reach the propersity.最后这句话很突然，一下子扯到繁荣上去了，没有经过论证啊。
其实这里说的大多数是中国的情况，最好说明一下。美国的教育就不是这样的

The critical thinking skill can effectively enhance the ability for people to contribute their knowledge and skill more well for the society. Supposed that the graduate （应用复数）from colleges and universities are all significant（？？） in their knowledge and skill in their specific fields, without the critical thinking, all the things they know may amount to nothing in their practical life. That is why graduates are constantly complain（前面有are，这里应用ing形式） that they know nearly nothing in their college life, although they are busying studying in these four or five years on campus. The solution to the embarrassing situation for the education system is that the cultivation of critical thinking should be introduced on campus. Equipped by the critical thinking, students are intend to better understand the actual things that they are supposed to understand, in addition, the critical thinking also is benefical in help people to apply what they learned in the actual world. 质疑精神和实用性是否对得上号呢？这很难说，也有不少具备质疑精神的学生谈论事物还是空对空，完全不掌握实际应用的方面。只能说质疑的同时应该注意与实用性方面结合，书本说的通的东西在实际生活里是否行的通？这就是质疑精神之一。

When we are looking back in the history, we can see a list of name（应是复数） who had（have即可） contributed to the whole human being according to their critical thinking, the examples can be easily multiply（应是multiplied） in the history of science, as Galletto, when he discover that the speed that two weight falling down is not as people had long take for granted, what he do is not comprise his ideas. He standed on the top of the tower, telling everyone that what they had learned about the speed of the two thing with different weight is different is wrong. His discovery makes it possible for further investigation about the gravity which is a milestone in the history of development of science. It is the power of critical thinking. To encourage the students to bring a certain skepticism is to some extent, remove the obstacles in the way of the progress of human being. And help human being to make a even significant achievement.

However, to encourage the students to bring a certain skepticisms（前面是a，这里为什么用复数？） towards what they had（应是have） learned is not equaled（equal即可） to doubt（这里应用动名词） everything they learned. If so, their learning would be ineffective they spent too much time in questing rather than answering them.这里时态混乱

To sum up, the students should be encouraged to bring skepticisms to what they had learned, not accept all without any considerations as before, since the critical thinking is playing so pivotal role in applying what we had learned to the practical life, and make any progress and discovery

论述还可以，但是问题如我上文所说。另外几个论点之间没有明显的联系，也就是说文章紧凑度不够。语言问题比较大，低级错误很多，希望下次留最后几分钟给自己检查一下，不要等别人来帮你查这些错误。我还没有改全，你再仔细找找。因为这些失分是很可惜的。

建议你看看精华区的范文，分析他们是怎么说理的。还有这篇文章里讲的思路，非常值得学习。https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... =%BD%CC%C2%DF%BC%AD


你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照该帖：《在本版找前人作文的方法》http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthr ... hlight=%CC%E2%BA%C5


希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。尤其是提点结构上和想法上的建议。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！我想你可能对自己的水平没信心，但是你只要参与别人的讨论，自己的思路也会打开，改变目前说理不透彻的情况。到目前为止你都是闷头写，几乎从来没有参与过别人的讨论，闭门造车行不通的，尤其对基础不是太好的同学。真的。


平时最好也能多多阅读，不要读过就算，要注意人家的谋篇布局、用词、构思等等，对你的作文大有好处，同时也有助于你的GRE阅读

paisleyUID: 64183

你好象没有看到我改的：（