Issue134 教育类，挺抽象的题目，限时，欢迎拍砖！

dezhiUID: 156141

Issue134  
------摘要------
作者：dezhi     共用时间：45分3秒     565 words
从2004年2月12日1时41分到2004年2月12日2时45分
------题目------
Students should be encouraged to realize that mental agility and rhetorical skill must be accompanied by sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs.
------提纲------
Agree
一、学生应该真诚并怀有坚定的信念
　　1、诚信是一种受到人们珍视的美德，是成功的阶梯。没有诚信，就会失去他人的信任，自然与成功无缘。
　　2、坚定的信念是学生必备的素质之一。只有有坚定的信念，才能在学习过程中有的放矢，坚持到底，而朝三暮四，立场不坚定只能一事无成。
二、如果只重视思维的敏捷和思辩能力，只重视技巧而忽视原则和其他一些内在的东西，就可能给社会带来危害。这种情况下，越是聪明、有技术的人就越是危险，可举网络犯罪之例
------正文------
Is it necessary for students to realize that mental agility and rhetorical skill must be accompanied by sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs? The speaker is in support of this statement, and I firmly agree with the speaker. Later I will give my reasons and example as follows.

For the one hand, sincerity is one of the most significant virtues cherished by our society, which is also the stepstone to success. On the campus, it is also highly appreciated to be sincere no matter what activity is concerned, such as exams, speeches, and teamwork. The standard of choosing friends of the students nowadays is a case in point. One may make friends who is sincere with little mental agility or rhetorical skill, while leaving ones who is skillful and mentally agile with no sincerity. The sincerity here serves as a fundamental virtue of anything based on it. Without sincerity, no one will trust you, not to mention any success. As a result, don't hesitate to be sincere, which is the base of any achievements.

For the other hand, it is the true conviction of their own beliefs that contributes to their excellent performance at school. Great ones stick to their own beliefs under most circumstances unless the situation has changed too much. It is the same at school where students with constant efforts for their beliefs achieve their goals in the end. And those who is skillful and mentally agile without beliefs becomes nobody. It is no surprising, for the intelligent students without the true conviction of their own beliefs are inclined to turn to one place now, and then another place, showing their wisdom in a number of fields but with no conformity and further research. As a result, anyone who wants to be excellent should take the conviction of their own beliefs into account while improving their intelligence and adaptability.

In another sense, if students focus much more on the mental agility and rhetorical skill while ignoring the sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs, they may do harm to the society and its people. Such a situation may bring about a person with abnormal personality, which may lead him or her to crime. Take the cyber crime as an example. As internet has played a more and more significant role in our world today, students who are good at computer science, especially the internet, is popular and welcome. However, if these intelligent students lack sincerity and the conviction of their own beliefs, they may bring great harm into our world. Some of them break into the internet bank system of the country to get money unlawfully, and some of them attack the internet military defence system just to show their brightness. These cases show that people with no sincerity and beliefs are more likely to achieve a goal regardless of the means used. The more skillful and agile they are, the more harm they may do to our lives. What we should do then is to encourage students to realize it to prohibit the appearance of such cases.

All in all, students should realize the important role of sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs besides the mental agility and rhetorical skill. The combination of these two is more likely to lead to success and great achievements of students than just either one of them.

dezhiUID: 156141

　　我是在写完提纲，并基本想好了用什么例子和怎么论述之后才开始计时的，要不然根本写不了这么多字，也写不了这么条理，这也是我写的字数最多的一次。
　　觉得现在最需要加强的，一个是文章各段展开的思路，一个是生动的例子，继续努力！

姚红红UID: 129988

I will read carefully, but I have no microsoft word  at this time,.so tomorrow may be OK.

dezhiUID: 156141

谢谢eting！
不过，好像贴错帖子了，anyway:)

etingUID: 155325

yun
当时要上课，太急了，我已经删了，有时间再看看，现在要休息一会
不过水平很烂的说
有如果改错了请见量

fishergirlUID: 152325

仔细读了你的文章，语言上没有太多建议(主要是以我的水平看不出来)，不过我对全文布局的观点与你不同。

1．诚信与对信念的坚持VS敏捷的思维和思辩能力，二者同样重要。我建议将body2和body3合并为body3，body2写后者对于成功的重要性，然后转折到强调前者。

2．对于信念的坚持很好，但是信念不一定都是对的，这里好像有一个对其加以限定的问题。比如，希特勒很相信民族优秀论，并且坚定不移的走自己的路，结果给世界带来了巨大的灾难。所以，在鼓励学生坚持信念的同时，还要帮助他们树立正确的信念。

其它我没有意见了，写的不错：）

dezhiUID: 156141

非常感谢fishergirl！

    对于你说的第一点：我觉得不应过多论述“敏捷的思维和思辩能力”，这也是我翻gter以前的一个帖子得到的启示。看一下题目：Students should be encouraged to realize that mental agility and rhetorical skill must be accompanied by sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs. 题目说的是敏捷的思维和思辩能力是否应该伴随着诚信与对信念的坚持，也就是说在发展敏捷的思维和思辩能力的过程中是否需要诚信与对信念的坚持，因此论证的重点在于是否需要诚信与对信念的坚持，而不在于对敏捷的思维和思辩能力的论证----有没有被我绕晕，呵呵

    对于你说的第二点，我觉得很好，这么说确实更加辩证和有说服力。但由于我的中心是firmly agree，所以就不能自掘家门了。不过，如果是Partly agree，那对他加以限定再来论述，就非常合适了。

姚红红UID: 129988

I admire your words and expressings used in essay, it is great,
Moreover,  I have an advice : in the part two, you can add the example of Andrew Carnegie, once the king of Steel in American, who believes the sincerity is an important factor of success and behaves in same way. In part three, after you take example.  if  you analyze much more, I think, the assay will be more perfect.
all in all ,It is a good writing .admiring!

fishergirlUID: 152325

呵呵，后来又想了想，觉得的确如你所说，重点在于诚信和信念。不过如果我来写这篇作文，按照我生怕不严谨的习惯，我一定会或多或少的说一点思辩能力的好话：）

caleUID: 150437

Students should be encouraged to realize that mental agility and rhetorical skill must be accompanied by sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs.

Is it necessary for students to realize that mental agility and rhetorical skill must be accompanied by sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs? The speaker is in support of this statement, and I firmly agree with the speaker. Later I will give my reasons and example as follows.

For the one hand, sincerity is one of the most significant virtues cherished by our society, which is also the stepstone to success. On the campus, it is also(前面有个also了，感觉有点重复，去掉算了) highly appreciated to be sincere no matter what activity is concerned, such as exams, speeches, and teamwork. The standard of choosing friends of the students nowadays is a case in point. One may make friends (with those) who is sincere with little mental agility or rhetorical skill, while leaving ones who is skillful and mentally agile with no sincerity（这个后半句也很别扭）. The sincerity here serves as a fundamental virtue of anything based on it. Without sincerity, no one will trust you, not to mention any success（你要这么说表大的意思是any success也不会投入trust you, 根据自己的意思修改一下）. As a result, don't hesitate to be sincere, which is the base of any achievements.

For the other hand, it is the true conviction of their own beliefs that contributes to their excellent performance at school. Great ones stick to their own beliefs under most circumstances unless the situation has changed too much. It is the same at school where students with constant efforts for their beliefs achieve their goals in the end. And those who is skillful and mentally agile without beliefs becomes nobody（明白你的意思，但nobody用的对吗，改成mediocre算了）. It is no surprising, for the intelligent students without the true conviction of their own beliefs are inclined to turn to one place now, and then another place, showing their wisdom in a number of fields but with no conformity and further research. As a result, anyone who wants to be excellent should take the conviction of their own beliefs into account while improving their intelligence and adaptability.

In another sense, if students focus much more on the mental agility and rhetorical skill while ignoring the sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs, they may do harm to the society and its people. Such a situation may bring about a person with abnormal personality, which may lead him or her to crime. Take the cyber crime as an example. As internet has played a more and more significant role in our world today, students who are good at computer science, especially the internet, is popular and welcome. However, if these intelligent students lack sincerity and the conviction of their own beliefs, they may bring great harm into our world. Some of them break into the internet bank system of the country to get money unlawfully, and some of them attack the internet military defence system just to show their brightness. These cases show that people with no sincerity and beliefs are more likely to achieve a goal regardless of the means used. The more skillful and agile they are, the more harm they may do to our lives. What we should do then is to encourage students to realize it to prohibit the appearance of such cases.（最后一句话把这段底主题给引谝了，作为总结应该呼应段首啊，要突出sincerity和conviction of own belief的重要性）
ll in all, students should realize the important role of sincerity and the true conviction of their own beliefs besides the mental agility and rhetorical skill. The combination of these two is more likely to lead to success and great achievements of students than just either one of them.
而且，还有一点异议，可以讨论一下，我总觉的这么批驳有一点偏，毕竟题中提的是mental agility and rhetorical skill，这两样东西也挺重要呀，建议第二或第三段去掉一段，改成说明mental agility and rhetorical skill有时也很重要。

dezhiUID: 156141

to 姚红红:
谢谢你的建议！
你提供的例子也很好，我记下了:)

dezhiUID: 156141

to cale:
谢谢你帮我看作文:)
1、“One may make friends (with those) who is sincere with little mental agility or rhetorical skill, while leaving ones who is skillful and mentally agile with no sincerity（这个后半句也很别扭）. ”
改成如下：One may make friends with those who is sincere with little mental agility or rhetorical skill, while keep away from those who is skillful and mentally agile with no sincerity.
2、 “Without sincerity, no one will trust you, not to mention any success”
改成:Without sincerity, no one will trust you, which makes success almost impossible.
3、“最后一句话把这段底主题给引谝了，作为总结应该呼应段首啊，要突出sincerity和conviction of own belief的重要性”
谢谢！我记住了！
4、对于你的异议，其实我也有。
如果一开始让我写，我也会写成后者很重要，但最后来一个让步，前者也很重要，不能忽视。
不知道这个题的理解到底如何~~~~