issue 233 感觉写的深度好像不太够，请大家指教，谢谢

eaglezhouUID: 156651

"Although innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet seem to offer schools
improved methods for instructing students, these technologies all too often distract from real
learning."


Nowadays, innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet begin to serve as improved methods that aim to help instruct students. At the mean time, however, they also bring such negative effect on students that distracts them from real learning, based on which, some people don’t speak highly of these innovations. In my point of view, the advantages brought about by these innovations outweigh the disadvantages of them.

Before the advent of these innovations, students can only turn to books and teachers for help in their schoolwork, which obviously suffers from many constraints.  As is known to all that the completion of a textbook takes really a long time. The information must be carefully collected to form a copy satisfying the outlines of education. After that, the copy will be handed in to the government in order to see whether any wrong information is carried by that book. Not until a quite long time can students have that edition in hand. Because the complexity of the process, a certain edition of textbooks may survive for quite a period of time thus not bothering to spend so much resources on them. One may find his/her children bring back home the very books he/she used as a student.   Suffering from not being updated very frequently, much information taught is just out of date, which inevitable will affect the quality of education. Moreover, in that kind of way of teaching, students may largely be influenced by their teachers' point of views and lose a bigger part of the picture.

With the implementation of these innovations, problems mentioned before can be better solved.  Students can have their textbooks electronized in order that the information carried can be updated as frequently as possible.  Being informed of the most updated information, students can better keep pace with the rapid strides of the society nowadays so that they do not need to spend too much of their golden years on knowledge that will no longer be useful today. Besides, they can turn to the internet for help with the suitable guide by their teachers when they have puzzles in the course of their studies, thus have a broader horizon.  Besides, students can have their questions cleared sooner through email and bbs set by school.

As for the distraction come with these innovations, they do cause some problems, which, however, can not serve as an excuse for not taking advantage of the improvement brought about.  On the contrary, these distractions can be used as a preparation for students’ future lives in the way that these distractions can make students learn how to do the decisions themselves to spend their time on . That kind of decisions will be encountered in their future social lives from time to time. One who lives in a vacuum in his/her schooldays may be dazzled by alternatives offered to him by society and waste some time to get used to that.  

To sum up, schools should insist on the introduction of new innovations to achieve a better learning environment and give guides to students how to cope with the distractions come with the innovations.

lovebrianUID: 157127

233． 尽管技术创新，如录像机、计算机以及因特网看似改善了学校的教学方式，但这
些技术时常分散真实的学习。


Nowadays, innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet begin to serve as improved methods that aim to help instruct students. At the mean time, however, they also bring such negative effect on students that distracts them from real learning, based on which, some people don’t speak highly of these innovations. In my point of view, the advantages brought about by these innovations outweigh the disadvantages of them.

1.……产生之前，旧的学习模式有很大限制
Before the advent of these innovations, students can only turn to books and teachers for help in their schoolwork, which obviously suffers from many constraints. As is known to all that the completion of a textbook takes really a long time. The information must be carefully collected to form a copy satisfying the outlines of education（此句别扭）. After that, the copy will be handed in to the government in order to see whether any wrong information is carried by that book. Not until a quite long time can students have that edition in hand. Because the complexity of the process, a certain edition of textbooks may survive for quite a period of time thus not bothering to spend so much resources on them. One may find his/her(规范吗？) children bring back home the very books he/she used as a student. Suffering from not being updated very frequently, much information taught is just out of date, which inevitable will affect the quality of education. Moreover, in that kind of way of teaching, students may largely be influenced by their teachers' point of views and lose a bigger part of the picture.（用知识更新换代慢来举例，只有这一个方面是不是充足？那下文该仍然从更新速度上来展开 我猜测）

With the implementation of these innovations, problems mentioned before can be better solved. Students can have their textbooks electronized in order that the information carried can be updated as frequently as possible. Being informed of the most updated information, students can better keep pace with the rapid strides of the society nowadays so that they do not need to spend too much of their golden years on knowledge that will no longer be useful today. Besides, they can turn to the internet for help with the suitable guide by their teachers when they have puzzles in the course of their studies, thus have a broader horizon. Besides, students can have their questions cleared sooner through email and bbs set by school. 这一段前半部分扣住了ts，但没有举例 也不深入  后面提到internet 在最后提到了sooner 很好  呵呵 符合我的推测

As for the distraction come with these innovations, they do cause some problems, which, however, can not serve as an excuse for not taking advantage of the improvement brought about. On the contrary, these distractions can be used as a preparation for students’ future lives in the way that these distractions can make students learn how to do the decisions themselves to spend their time on . That kind of decisions will be encountered in their future social lives from time to time. One who lives in a vacuum in his/her schooldays may be dazzled by alternatives offered to him by society and waste some time to get used to that. 从两个的角度分析了所谓的弊端 提出“弊端”也不只是弊端  很好

To sum up, schools should insist on the introduction of new innovations to achieve a better learning environment and give guides to students how to cope with the distractions come with the innovations.

Nod nod 无论从整体还是小结构 都是很pl的一篇文章 pf pf 向楼主学习！
btw我没看语法和拼写 不过问题也不大 因为读得很顺畅

eaglezhouUID: 156651

这个题目写的时候感觉在理解上问题不大，但好像有很多东西仍然有待发掘，例子我没用主要是觉得好像这里能用上的都是比较日常的，叙述起来不见的有多大力量，反而给人tedious的感觉（我对自己第一段就有这种感觉，汗一个），你的看法呢？
其他人如果看到此帖有何感想也请赐教，感激ing