issue62,快考试了,还有8天,大家狠狠的批评吧,期待你的意见

runnerioUID: 152251

62"The widespread idea that people should make self-improvement a primary
goal in their lives is problematic because it assumes that people are
intrinsically deficient."

正文：

The speaker seems to advocate that all people are impeccable, however, I cannot agree with this idea. My viewpoint is that individuals should concede their deficiencies and make self-improvement all their lives to adapt themselves to current competitive world.

No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .For instance, people may possess critical thinking but cannot express his profound thoughts articulately; they may have broad ambitions while owning no self-control ability; or when finding some merits on others, which he or she does not hold, one may be envious or unhappy; and so forth.Untill now we have not found an absolute perfect person in reality, no matter how excellent one may be.


However, it is not a indecent behavior for individuals to admit their deficiencies, conversely, such courage to concede one’s self-deficiencies just provides the preconditions for persons’ further progress .Since no people are all-powerful, individuals have no necessity to complain that God treats them unfairly for failing to offer them perfect personality. And it may be more sensible for them to concede their deficiencies and try to eliminate them, or at least reduce them to some extent; in that such demerits usually lead to certain problems to people .For example, enviousness always incurs poor interpersonal relationship. Only when persons truly analyze themselves, namely to find out their advantages and disadvantages, will they have the perception to improve themselves; otherwise, if they cannot locate themselves properly, they may suffer much from their demerits. Consider that, for example, one who thinks oneself an invincible person while it is not the case at all, how can one promote oneself? Society may has no choice but sigh that another person drop in stagnancy.

And nowadays, self-improvement becomes increasingly significant for everyone, and usually takes a life-long times .After introspecting ,one may perceive that he or she must try to change such situation, especially in this postindustrial world ,which assembles numerous outstanding and excellent people .These days ,with the development of technology and science , competition become growingly drastic, and nearly all sensible and aspirant individuals are trying to improve  themselves through various accesses to promote their competition ability, otherwise failures may be forthcoming. For supporting examples ,one need to look no further than nowadays' recruit meeting，in which innumerable people have high-educational experiences ,rich working skills, graceful appearance ,polite behavior, etc, then it is easy to anticipate that a person, who even has not define oneself appropriately, namely  do not know one's merits and demerits, nearly is destined to bungle. Also, self-improvement must be a life-long process, for the reason that one must uninterruptedly adapt themselves to the continuously changing circumstance. Just as an old adage says: ”One is never to old to learn.” Only via constant learning and promotion can individuals be accepted by the variational world.

To summarize, it is not so painful to admit one's flaws, for the reason that just through this process can people really define themselves, and then prepare to change their not so good habits or just promote their relative inferior quality, which lead to a higher plateau for them in their later lives.

chindychenUID: 157468

62"The widespread idea that people should make self-improvement a primary
goal in their lives is problematic because it assumes that people are
intrinsically deficient."

(First, I check your passage with Word tools~~~~~)

The speaker seems to advocate that all people are impeccable, however, I cannot agree with this idea. My viewpoint is that individuals should concede( 勉强承认,用admit/ accept 是不是好一点?) their deficiencies and make self-improvement all their lives to adapt them to current competitive world.

No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .For instance, people may possess critical thinking but cannot express his profound thoughts articulately; they may have broad ambitions while owning no self-control ability; or when finding some merits on others, which he or she does not hold, one may be envious or unhappy; and so forth. Until now we have not found an absolute perfect person in reality, no matter how excellent one may be.(世上无完人, 但是没体现excellent one is not perfect, 举几个牛人的例子是不是更受用,而且论证弱了点)


However, it is not an indecent(我总觉得这个词不太好,我也不知能不能这样用) behavior for individuals to admit their deficiencies, conversely, such courage to concede one’s self-deficiencies just provide the preconditions for persons’ further progress. Since no people are all-powerful, individuals have no necessity to complain that God treats them unfairly for failing to offer them perfect personality. And it may be more sensible for them to concede their deficiencies and try to eliminate them, or at least reduce them to some extent; in that such demerits usually lead to certain problems to people .For example, enviousness (envy/ jealousy) always incurs poor interpersonal relationship. Only when persons truly analyze themselves, namely (这个词前面是解释,后面是总结吧) to find out their advantages and disadvantages, will they have the perception to improve themselves; otherwise, if they cannot locate themselves properly, they may suffer much from their demerits. Consider that, for example, one who thinks oneself an invincible person while it is not the case at all, how can one promote oneself? Society may have no choice but (to) sigh that another person drops in stagnancy.

And nowadays, self-improvement becomes increasingly significant for everyone, and usually takes a life-long time. After introspecting, one may perceive that he or she must try to change such situation, especially in this postindustrial world, which assembles numerous outstanding and excellent people. These days, with the development of technology and science, competition become growingly drastic, and nearly all sensible and aspirant individuals are trying to improve themselves through various accesses to promote their competition ability, otherwise failures may be forthcoming. For supporting examples ,one need to look no further than nowadays' recruit meeting，in which innumerable people have high-educational experiences ,rich working skills, graceful appearance ,polite behavior, etc, then it is easy to anticipate that a person, who even has not define oneself appropriately, namely do not know one's merits and demerits, nearly is destined to bungle. Also, self-improvement must be a life-long process, for the reason that one must uninterruptedly adapt them to the continuously changing circumstance. Just as an old adage says: ”One is never to old to learn.” Only via constant learning and promotion can individuals be accepted by the variational world.

To summarize, it is not so painful to admit one's flaws,(觉得没什么因果) for the reason that just through this process can people really define themselves, and then prepare to change their not so good habits or just promote their relative inferior quality, which lead to a higher plateau for them in their later lives.
对于逻辑我是很昏的,说不好不要怪我,我是菜鸟而已,尽信我不如无我.切记!!

runnerioUID: 152251

首先谢谢chindychen的批改,:)

No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .For instance, people may possess critical thinking but cannot express his profound thoughts articulately; they may have broad ambitions while owning no self-control ability; or when finding some merits on others, which he or she does not hold, one may be envious or unhappy; and so forth. Until now we have not found an absolute perfect person in reality, no matter how excellent one may be.(世上无完人, 但是没体现excellent one is not perfect, 举几个牛人的例子是不是更受用,而且论证弱了点)

说的好,我写的时候就是冥思苦想也想不出来该怎么论证我这个论点,毕竟太抽象了呀.看了你的话,觉得有点眉目了.你想说用几个伟大得人也有缺点来论证人无完人是吗?我觉得这样确实能增强一些论证力度,可是仔细一想,这样写还是没有从根本上解决这个问题呀,我想的头都大了,到底应该怎样证呢?

你有什么想法呢?如果要你来证明人无完人,你会怎么写呢?请赐教.:)期待中.

其他的xdjm有什么意见,给点建议好么?叩谢.:)

caleUID: 150437

62"The widespread idea that people should make self-improvement a primary
goal in their lives is problematic because it assumes that people are
intrinsically deficient." By runnerio

The speaker seems to advocate that all people are impeccable, however, I cannot agree with this idea. My viewpoint is that individuals should concede their deficiencies and make self-improvement all their lives to adapt themselves to current competitive world.

No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .For instance, people may possess critical thinking but cannot express his profound thoughts articulately; they may have broad ambitions while owning no self-control ability; or when finding some merits on others, which he or she does not hold, one may be envious or unhappy; and so forth. Until now we have not found an absolute perfect person in reality, no matter how excellent one may be.

However, it is not a indecent behavior for individuals to admit their deficiencies, conversely, such courage to concede one’s self-deficiencies just provides the preconditions for（of） persons’ further progress. Since no people are all-powerful, individuals have no necessity to complain that God treats them unfairly for failing to offer them perfect personality. And it may be more sensible for them to concede their deficiencies and try to eliminate them, or at least reduce them to some extent; in that (这个in that 是什么意思？你能不能解释一下) such demerits usually lead to （我觉得用bring更好一点）certain problems to people .For example, enviousness always incurs poor interpersonal relationship. Only when persons truly analyze themselves, namely to find out their advantages and disadvantages, will they have the perception（是不是应该用motivation） to improve themselves; otherwise, if they cannot locate themselves properly, they may suffer much from their demerits. Consider that, for example, one who thinks oneself an invincible person while it is not the case at all, how can one promote oneself? Society may have no choice but sigh that another person drop in stagnancy. 我觉得第一个例子举的不好，你的观点是to concede self-deficiency is the premise of one’s further progress, 但第一个例子大部分都在说人应该承认自己的deficiency，然后给自己正确定位。

And nowadays, self-improvement becomes increasingly significant for everyone, and usually takes a life-long time. After introspecting, one may perceive that he or she must try to change such situation, especially in this postindustrial world, which assembles numerous outstanding and excellent people. These day, with the development of technology and science, competition become growingly drastic, and nearly all sensible and aspirant individuals are trying to improve themselves through various accesses to promote their competition ability, otherwise failures may be forthcoming. For supporting examples ,one need to look no further than nowadays' recruit meeting，in which innumerable people have high-educational experiences ,rich working skills, graceful appearance ,polite behavior, etc, then it is easy to anticipate that a person, who even has not define oneself appropriately, namely do not know one's merits and demerits,（这前面说了一堆，但感觉没说道点上，这个例子应该说明的是self－improvement的重要性，怎么也得在例子里提一句吧） nearly is destined to bungle. Also, self-improvement must be a life-long process, for the reason that one must uninterruptedly adapt themselves to the continuously changing circumstance. Just as an old adage says: ”One is never to old to learn.” Only via constant learning and promotion can individuals be accepted by the variational world.

To summarize, it is not so painful to admit one's flaws, for the reason that just through this process can people really define themselves, and then prepare to change their not so good habits or just promote their relative inferior quality, which lead to a higher plateau for them in their later lives.（最后的这个非限定性定语从句值得商榷，我不肯定它在语法上有错，但至少是容易让人误解。

caleUID: 150437

如果是我，会首先声明人物完人，比如我们不可能对每一件事都擅长，也不可能没有缺点，像粗心，胆小，鲁莽，骄傲等。即使是伟人，也不是一生下来就那么厉害或者说从来没犯过错误，例达芬奇在发现自己原来练鸡蛋都或不好之前一直很骄傲，enistein也曾经嘲笑过量子理论。

这是我的大概思路，但针对任务完人，不管后面，呵呵

runnerioUID: 152251

cale,谢谢你的批改和思路,:)
可是我仍然很晕呀,你说:"我们不可能对每一件事都擅长，也不可能没有缺点",这本身也是assert呀,你后面举了几个人的缺点,也不能说明"我们不可能对每一件事都擅长，也不可能没有缺点"这句话呀,就比如你说:"这个人是个好人",然后举了一些他的优点来说明,而实际上他是个杀人犯呢.
哎呀,我头都大了.

caleUID: 150437

这是assert，但我把它看作commonsense呵呵，“这个人是个好人",然后举了一些他的优点来说明,而实际上他是个杀人犯呢.”其实我觉得你这句话也能说明人物完人，都有不理智的时候，所以才会有一堆优点，而又杀了人，呵呵，难脱强词夺理之闲，我再想想，现我也还剩十天就考了，先放下这道题，想想别的，会有灵感的，我要是有什么新的想法在发上来。

runnerioUID: 152251

好的,谢谢你,:)

olivehy_1223UID: 135224

No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .
在西方人的观念里，圣人一样犯错误（见bibble里的众多神），而中国的神是完美无缺的。So，这句话在改卷的眼里就有问题了。
No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects。
感觉就够了。

runnerioUID: 152251

这样啊,我还不知道呢,多谢指出,:)

lxbUID: 157915

No.1 issue62,快考试了,还有8天,大家狠狠的批评吧,期待你的意见
62、"The widespread idea that people should make self-improvement a primary goal in their lives is problematic because it assumes that people are intrinsically deficient."

正文：

The speaker seems to advocate that all people are impeccable, however, I cannot agree with this idea. My viewpoint is that individuals should concede their deficiencies and make self-improvement all their lives to adapt themselves to current competitive world.

No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .For instance, people may possess critical thinking but cannot express his (改成their) profound thoughts articulately; they may have broad ambitions while owning no self-control ability; or when finding some merits on others, which he or she does not hold, one may be envious or unhappy;（这与上面的不是并列的，因为前面前后是一种对比关系，而这一句似乎是不这种关系） and so forth. Untill（拼错了，应该是Until ） now we have not found an absolute（用absolutely会好一些，因为修饰的是perfect） perfect person in reality, no matter how excellent one may be.
该段开头开得相当好，中间论述的几个分号的句子给人以美的感受。很不错。不过，就是觉得好像结尾这句突然转变得有点快，意思不是很顺。多读几遍又觉得没有什么，或许是我自己语感和理解的问题。

However, it is not a indecent behavior for individuals to admit their deficiencies, conversely, such courage to concede one’s self-deficiencies just provides the preconditions for persons’ further progress .Since no people are all-powerful, individuals have no necessity to complain that God treats them unfairly for failing to offer them perfect personality. And it may be more sensible for them to concede their deficiencies and try to eliminate them, or at least reduce them to some extent; {in that such demerits usually lead to certain problems to people}（这一句什么意思，看得不是很明白，主语是什么？） .For example, enviousness always incurs poor interpersonal relationship. Only when persons truly analyze themselves, namely to find out their advantages and disadvantages, will they have the perception to improve themselves; otherwise, if they cannot locate themselves properly, they may suffer much from their demerits. Consider that, for example, one who thinks oneself an invincible person while it is not the case at all, how can one promote oneself? Society may has（改成have） no choice but sigh that another person drop in stagnancy.

And nowadays, self-improvement becomes increasingly significant for everyone, and usually takes a life-long times .After introspecting ,one may perceive that he or she must try to change such situation, especially in this postindustrial（应该是post-industrial） world ,which assembles numerous outstanding and excellent people .These days, with the development of technology and science, competition become growingly drastic, and nearly all sensible and aspirant individuals are trying to improve themselves through various accesses to promote their competition ability（两个名词一起用，这样子可以吗？）, otherwise failures may be forthcoming. For supporting examples ,one need to look no further than nowadays' recruit meeting，in which innumerable people have high-educational experiences ,rich working skills, graceful appearance ,polite behavior, etc, then it is easy to anticipate that a person, who even has not define oneself appropriately, namely do not know one's merits and demerits, nearly is destined to bungle. Also, self-improvement must be a life-long process, for the reason that one must uninterruptedly adapt themselves to the continuously changing circumstance. Just as an old adage says: ”One is never to(改成too,拼写错误) old to learn.” Only via constant learning and promotion can individuals be accepted by the variational world.

To summarize, it is not so painful to admit one's flaws, for the reason that just through this process can people really define themselves, and then prepare to change their not so good （这个表达总觉得有点像中国是表达）habits or just promote their relative inferior quality, which lead to a higher plateau for them in their later lives.

总体感觉：这篇文章写得很不错，长句很多，尤其是倒装句，论证也不错，尤其是第二段，特别具体和形象，有那种栩栩如生的感觉。不过，个人认为，如果这篇文章在正文第二或者第三段能有一个例子来证明，显得不是纯说理的，效果会更好。
但由于水平有限，现在也不能给什么好的建议，请见谅！

chindychenUID: 157468

直觉上觉得的, 自己也没深究.呵.
我想的和cale差不多, 我觉得人无完人是很好说得通的, 可是论者的态度是什么?他是想说人生来就没缺陷??

smallponyUID: 142978

第四段的论证深度很好，但感觉跟主题的关系开的不甚紧密。还有第三段开头有些绕，感觉重复性论述多了一些，虽然注意选用了同、近义词，但意思却只停留在一个层面上。

不过，整个论证层次还是很清楚的

jianguoUID: 157933

The speaker seems to advocate that all people are impeccable, however, I cannot agree with this idea. My viewpoint is that individuals should concede their deficiencies and make self-improvement all their lives to (去掉to)adapt themselves to current competitive world.

No one is born perfect(No one is perfect when he/she was born). Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .For instance, people may possess critical thinking but cannot express his profound thoughts articulately; they may have broad ambitions while owning no self-control ability; or when finding some merits on others, which he or she does not hold, one may be envious or unhappy; and so forth. Untill(注意拼写) now we have not found an absolute perfect person in reality, no matter how excellent one may be.


However, it is not a indecent behavior for individuals to admit their deficiencies, conversely, such courage to concede one’s self-deficiencies just provides the preconditions for persons’ further progres(注意拼写). Since no people are all-powerful, individuals have no necessity to complain that God treats them unfairly for failing to offer them perfect personality. And it may be more sensible for them to concede their deficiencies and try to eliminate them, or at least reduce them to some extent; in that such demerits usually lead to certain problems to people .For example, enviousness always incurs poor interpersonal relationship. Only when persons truly analyze themselves, namely to find out their advantages and disadvantages, will they have the perception to improve themselves; otherwise, if they cannot locate themselves properly, they may suffer much from their demerits. Consider that, for example, one who thinks oneself an invincible person while it is not the case at all, how can one promote oneself? Society may has no choice but sigh that another person drop in stagnancy.

And nowadays, self-improvement becomes increasingly significant for everyone, and usually takes a life-long times .After introspecting ,one may perceive that he or she must try to change such situation, especially in this postindustrial world ,which assembles numerous outstanding and excellent people .These days ,with the development of technology and science , competition become growingly drastic, and nearly all sensible and aspirant individuals are trying to improve themselves through various accesses to promote their competition ability, otherwise failures may be forthcoming. For supporting examples ,one need to look no further than nowadays' recruit meeting，in which innumerable people have high-educational experiences ,rich working skills, graceful appearance ,polite behavior, etc, then it is easy to anticipate that a person, who even has not define oneself appropriately, namely do not know one's merits and demerits, nearly is destined to bungle. Also, self-improvement must be a life-long process, for the reason that one must uninterruptedly adapt themselves（用错了） to the continuously changing circumstance. Just as an old adage says: ”One is never to old to learn.” Only via constant learning and promotion can individuals be accepted by the variational world.

To summarize, it is not so painful to admit one's flaws, for the reason that just through this process can people really define themselves, and then prepare to change their not so good habits or just promote their relative inferior quality, which lead to a higher plateau for them in their later lives.
我觉得你写的不错，有很好的语言功底。 逻辑也可以。以后互相学习

hkkk5257UID: 155661

The speaker seems to advocate that all people are impeccable, however, I cannot agree with this idea. My viewpoint is that individuals should concede their deficiencies and make self-improvement all their lives to adapt themselves to current competitive world.这句话有点逻辑错误，既然all their lives 为什么还要adapt to current呢？而且已经self－improvement了，为什么还要加一个themselves呢？我也不知道是不是我最近argue看多了的缘故，还望自己斟酌

No one is born perfect. Humans all, more or less, have some defects, and the one who is really omnipotent may be only the God .For instance, people may possess critical thinking but cannot express his/her profound thoughts articulately; they may have broad ambitionsgreat ambition while owning no self-control ability; or when finding some merits on others, which he or she does not hold, one may be envious or unhappy; and so forth. Until now we have not found an absoluteabsolutely perfect person in reality, no matter how excellent one may be.Excellent ~!中间的说理句型都在变化，给人的感觉很好

However, it is not a anindecent behavior for individuals to admit their deficiencies, conversely, such courage to concede one’s self-deficiencies just provides the preconditions for personsindividuals 要好些’ further progress .Since no people are all-powerful, individuals have no necessity to complain that God treats them unfairly for failing to offer them perfect personality. And it may be more sensible for them to concede their deficiencies and try to eliminate them, or at least reduce them to some extent; in that such demerits usually lead to certain problems to people .For example, enviousness always incurs poor interpersonal relationship. Only when persons truly analyze themselves, namely to find out their advantages and disadvantages, will they have the perception to improve themselves; otherwise, if they cannot locate themselves properly, they may suffer much from their demerits. Consider that, for example, 前面已经有example了，这里又出现一个，感觉不爽，而且像是在重复one who thinks oneself an invincible person while it is not the case at all, how can one promote oneself? Society may has no choice but sigh that another person drop in stagnancy.这段的论证与你的论点不太符合：没有怎么强调你开头中的precondition forcolor=brown further progress/color,建议论点可以不用提的太广啊，这要可以证明自己的观点就可以了……

And nowadays, self-improvement becomes increasingly significant for everyone, and usually takes a life-long times .After introspecting ,one may perceive that he or she must try to change such situation, especially in this postindustrial world ,which assembles numerous outstanding and excellent people .These days ,with the development of technology and science , competition become growingly drastic, and nearly all sensible and aspirant individuals are trying to improve themselves through various accesses to promote their competition ability, otherwise failures may be forthcoming. For supporting examples ,one need to look no further than nowadays' recruit meeting，in which innumerable people have high-educational experiences ,rich working skills, graceful appearance ,polite behavior, etc, then it is easy to anticipate that a person, who even has not define oneself appropriately, namely do not know one's merits and demerits, nearly is destined to bungle. Also, self-improvement must be a life-long process, for the reason that one must uninterruptedly adapt themselves to the continuously changing circumstance. Just as an old adage says: ”One is never to old to learn.” Only via constant learning and promotion can individuals be accepted by the variational world.是不是应该把把论点中的两个部分融合在一起写啊，这样分开写的效果不好，要不就分成四段，然后美断再深入写啊。这样感觉是在凑字数

To summarize, it is not so painful to admit one's flaws, for the reason that just through this process can people really define themselves, and then prepare to change their not so good habits or just promote their relative inferior quality, which lead to a higher plateau for them in their later lives.

感觉：我语法不好了，找不出来语法错误，呵呵，
      论证思路比较清晰，不过论证还需切题，加油，支持啊～！！！！