issue29，我的第一篇issue，大家铆足劲儿批吧！万分感谢！！！

riceyzUID: 154254

29"Public figures such as actors, politicians, and athletes should expect people to be interested in their private lives. When they seek a public role, they should expect that they will lose at least some of their privacy."

We often hear words like this:”Being public equals to naked, for actors politicians and also athletes.” Without considering that this saying is right or wrong, firstly, we should admit the public are paying more and more attention on these stars now. What they care about concludes not only how they play their public roles, but also contain their attitude to the privacy life.

Admittedly, we cannot deny that it is the public attention build up the public figures. For our ordinary people, who concern our life are ourselves, our relatives and our friends. While comparing with the stars, who have many strange people take them seriously. These people, so-called fans, interest in their talking, their habits, their ideas and even their private life. To content public requires, the reports follow the stars, take down everything they do, even a small part, and report these over stately. But, people are greedy. Once they know a little, they want everything, no matter good or bad, public or private. So, lacking of public activities, reporters dig more and more private open to public.

For public figures, it is hard to tell clearly from public to private. Let’s take actors for example. It is their vocation that makes them act one role after another. Most of their time is spend in the theatrical unit and they have almost no time is spend with their family. Face to so many people for such a long time, their life cannot be called privacy. Though public do not know their show immediately, these will spread extensively by any mouth in the unit soon and finally become public. Is there something private in the news? To the actors, some are. But the public do not thing so. There is no accurate defines to private. Unfortunately, the similar things also happen to other kinds of public figures like politicians, athletes and so on..

Additionally, public figures are only the same people as us physiologically. It is no doubt that they should try their best to improve theirselves. But we also need to forgive them for some little mistakes. Being taken seriously, stars always feel pressured. They want to be the best while there are nobody can do everything well. Life will not be always smooth. When they encounter with troubles about the life or emotion, they will want to let off without other’s notice. It is a pity that reporters are everywhere nowadays. So many stars forget their manners before public. Instead of understanding, others criticize a lot. Public just forget one thing: they sometimes do the same thing theirselves!

To conclusion, public figures should prepare for the public life well with trying their best to do everything. Then, they will not afraid about the attentions to their privacy any more. We can see that these attentions are not always bad things. They also tell the popularization about the stars. So, just get ready, and you will success.

riceyzUID: 154254

努力帮别人改ing~~~
可为什么我的没人帮忙看？
水平太烂，还需要大家多多帮忙啦！
谢谢了！

dezhiUID: 156141

29"Public figures such as actors, politicians, and athletes should expect people to be interested in their private lives. When they seek a public role, they should expect that they will lose at least some of their privacy."

We often hear words like this:”Being public equals to be naked, 这个逗号有用吗？for actors 少标点! politicians and also athletes.” Without considering that 这里用whether更好一些 this saying is right or wrong 这句话罗嗦，这么说行不行：Regardless of the righteousness of this saying, firstly, we should admit the public are paying more and more attention on pay attention to! these stars now个人感觉这句话有些汉语式思维. What they care about concludes ？还是include? not only how they play their public roles, but also contain 这个contain应该去掉，和前面的not only对应! their attitudes to towards更好 the privacy life.

Admittedly, we cannot deny that it is the public attention 很好，但既然是强调句，为什么少了that呢? build up the public figures. For our ordinary people, who concern our life are ourselves, our relatives and our friends 这句话整个没有主语和谓语，不爽，楼主是想表达什么呢，这么说吧：What we ordinary people concern about is ourselves, our relatives and our friends.  Faint这么多our，呵呵. While comparing with the stars, who have many strange people take them seriously这个句子又有问题，无主语. These people, so-called fans, interest in be interested in their talking, their habits, their ideas and even their private life这里是个包含关系，并不能算作是并列!. To content public requires requirements?, the reports follow the stars, take语法错，状语用现在分词 down 有这个词组吗？我不知道，hoho~~~ everything they do, even a small part, and report reports…report，感觉怪怪的 these over stately. But, 有这么用的吗？But, people are greedy这里有强转折吗？. Once they know a little, they want everything, no matter good or bad, public or private这句话写得不错. So, 这里，，，lacking of 应该是For lack of/Lackingpublic activities, reporters dig more and more private open to public觉得这句话不好，不如这么说：reporters do not hesitate to investigate more privacy of the stars to show to public.
注意：发现这一段严重偏离主题，TS是we cannot deny that it is the public attention that build up the public figures，可后面论述的都是说他们的生活被public所disturb了，建议楼主改一改主题句，也就是首句

For public figures, it is hard to tell clearly from public to privatetell…from…to这么说有问题吧，不如：it is hard to differentiate between the public and their privacy. Let’s take actors for example. It is their vocation that makes them act one role after another. Most of their time is spend spent in spend time on sth. the theatrical unit and they have almost no time is spend no time to spend with就好了，你的说法直接读不通 with their family. Face to 这个to令人莫名其妙，而且要注意分词的变化形式，不能直接用动词呀! so many people for such a long time, their life cannot be called privacy生活不能被称作私有，这两个名词有相互替代性吗？这么说不通吧?. Though public do not know their show immediately, these will spread extensively by any mouth 这么说好吗？别扭 in the unit soon and finally become public. Is there something 用anything private in the news? To the actors, some are有些太简洁了吧？. But the public do not thing so这句话应该是打错了吧？. There is no accurate defines “定义”的名词是definition to private这是形容词呀，除了名词之外，形容词也可以有“定义”？. Unfortunately, the去掉吧 similar things also happen to other kinds of public figures like politicians, athletes and so on..
感觉这段的前面还在论证中心，也就是无法明确的区分公有生活和私有生活，但是到了后面好像又要跑了(个人感觉)，逻辑关系也不明了

Additionally, public figures are only the same people as us physiologically建议最好在这里就点明这一段的中心!. It is no doubt that they should try their best to improve theirselves 这个词很搞笑呀，而且在后面又用了一次. But we also need to forgive them for some little mistakes. Being being可以去掉 taken seriously, stars always feel pressured. They want to be the best while there are nobody can 双谓语，加从句do everything well. Life will not be always smooth. When they encounter encounter后面是不是直接加宾语？ with troubles about the life or emotion, they will去掉这个词吧，很少说will want want to let off without other’s notice. It is a pity that reporters are everywhere nowadays. So many stars forget their manners before public. Instead of understanding, others criticize a lot. Public just forget one thing: they sometimes do the same thing theirselves!
读到最后一句，又有一点不知所云

To conclusion In conclusion, public figures should prepare for the public life well with trying their best to do everything. Then, they will not be afraid about the attentions to their privacy any more. We can see that these attentions are not always bad things. They also tell the popularization about the stars这些东西在文章中都没有提到呀. So, just get ready, and you will success这个引申，不太好吧.

dezhiUID: 156141

1、论证思路有待过一步提炼，并按照TS展开每一个段落，文章中心也要明确，结尾不要脱离文章中心。
2、语法、句子结构、从句方面有待进一步提高，尤其是句子结构，很多句子写得不成句子呀
3、注意一些固定搭配，比如pay attention to，还有最后的In conclusion就用错了
4、再一个问题，是缺少例子，其实这也是我最头疼的，需要收集一些资料，再多想想呀

再说一句，paisley把你和我的帖子做了交换链接，呵呵，不过，我没有改那篇而改了这个，所以暂时就没有时间帮你看那一篇了，请见谅。这篇花了我一中午的时间，精力实在有限，呵呵。

继续努力，riceyz!

riceyzUID: 154254

谢谢啦！
说来惭愧呀，上中学以后就没好好学过英语，语法极差，现在能补多少是多少吧:(

riceyzUID: 154254

做了一次大改动，不过好像还是不太好，高手们再给点建议吧？
先在这里谢谢了！

29"Public figures such as actors, politicians, and athletes should expect people to be interested in their private lives. When they seek a public role, they should expect that they will lose at least some of their privacy."

We often hear words like this:” Being public equals to being naked for actors, politicians and also athletes.” Regardless of the righteousness of this saying, firstly, we should admit the public are paying more attention to the stars now than ever before. What they care about include not only how they play their public roles, but also their attitudes towards the privacy life.

Admittedly, we should notice that it is the fondness that leads the public to be interest in the stars, and the reports are only completing their work. We are acquainted with one person through the continually communication, which is almost unfeasible for the public figure. Therefore, the only way we have to know more about the stars is to pay attention to their activities. To content public requirements, the reports follow the stars, record everything they do, even a small part, and report these over stately. People are always greedy. Once they know a little, they want everything, no matter good or bad, public or private. For lack of public activities, reporters do not hesitate to investigate more privacy of the stars to show to public.

Public figures regard something as privacy while the public take those as news that should be reported as soon as possible. Let’s take actors for example. It is their vocation that makes them act one role after another. Most of their time is spent on the theatrical unit and they have no time to spend with their family. Facing to so many people for such a long time, their lives have nothing private. Though public do not know their show immediately, these will spread extensively by any person in the unit soon and finally open to the public as the entertainment news. Is there anything private in the news? To the actors, something is, such as their love and their hatred. But the public do not think so as there is no accurate definition to privacy. Unfortunately, similar things also happen to other kinds of public figures like politicians, athletes and so on.

Additionally, public figures are only the same people as us physiologically. Undoubtedly, they should try their best to improve themselves. But we also need to forgive them for some little mistakes. Taken seriously, stars always feel pressured. They want to be the best while there is nobody that can do everything perfect. Life will not be always smooth. When they encounter troubles about the life or emotion, they want to let off without other’s notice. It is a pity that reporters are everywhere nowadays. So many stars forget their manners in public place under the cameras. Instead of understanding, others criticize a lot. Just a few people forgive them tolerantly.

In conclusion, public figures need to prepare for the public life well with trying their best to do everything. They should know that the attentions paid to them by public show their popularity. And the public ought to see the progress the stars make but not always the mistakes.

dezhiUID: 156141

我感觉写得不错了,没有再详细看语法(不过好像还是有一些小毛病,呵呵)

另外提醒一下:让步最好放在最后,前几天我也刚被斑竹批过,呵呵,可以翻一翻前几天的一个专门讨论这个问题的帖子.

另外,希望其他人也看看这个修改稿吧,光我一个人看,思路很窄的说~~~~

riceyzUID: 154254

呵呵，谢谢啦！

jianguoUID: 157933

29"Public figures such as actors, politicians, and athletes should expect people to be interested in their private lives. When they seek a public role, they should expect that they will lose at least some of their privacy."

We often hear words like this(that):” Being public equals to being naked for actors, politicians and also athletes.” Regardless of the righteousness of this saying(前面说是words后面说是saying不妥吧), firstly, we should admit the public are paying（不需要用进行时态） more attention to the stars now（去掉） than ever before. What they care about include not only how they play their public roles, but also their attitudes towards the privacy life.
人们为什么对明星赶兴趣
Admittedly, we should notice that it is the fondness that leads the public to be interest（interested） in the stars, and the reports are only completing their work. We are acquainted with one person through the continually communication, which is almost unfeasible for the public figure. Therefore, the only way we have to know more about the stars is to pay attention to their activities. To content(content->satisfy) public requirements, the reports follow the stars, record(recording) everything (缺what)they do, even a small part（我觉得用minutia好一些）, and report these(them吧) over stately. (加moreover) People are always greedy. Once they know a little, they want everything,(不通顺吧 去掉) no matter good or bad, public or private. For lack of public activities, reporters do not hesitate to investigate more privacy of the stars to show to public.

Public figures regard something as privacy while the public take those（them） as news that should be reported as soon as possible(读不大懂). Let’s take actors for example. It is their vocation that makes them act one role after another. Most of their time is spent on the theatrical unit（戏剧性组合而不是剧组） and they have no time to spend（语法错误） with their family. Facing to（去掉to） so many people for such a long time, their lives have nothing private（不通）. Though public do not know their show immediately, these will spread extensively by any person in the unit soon and finally open to the public as the entertainment news. Is there anything private in the news? To the actors, something is, such as their love and their hatred. But the public do not think so as there is no accurate definition to privacy. Unfortunately, similar things also happen to other kinds of public figures like politicians, athletes and so on.

Additionally, public figures are only the same people as us physiologically. Undoubtedly, they should try their best to improve themselves. But we also need to forgive them for some little mistakes. Taken seriously, stars always feel pressured. They want to be the best while there is nobody that can do everything perfect. Life will not be always smooth. When they encounter troubles about the life or emotion, they want to let off without other’s notice. It is a pity that reporters are everywhere nowadays. So many stars forget their manners in public place under the cameras. Instead of understanding, others criticize a lot. Just a few people forgive them tolerantly.

In conclusion, public figures need to prepare for the public life well with trying their best to do everything. They should know that the attentions paid to them by public show their popularity. And the public ought to see the progress the stars make but not always the mistakes.

jianguoUID: 157933

总体感觉逻辑思维还可以,但语法错误太多,请注意..我的一些个人意见请参考

tiraUID: 139377

我尽量你的内容写的，你看行不？
2 nd: The fame of a public figure often leads to extra-even excess-interest in his/her private life.

tiraUID: 139377

我尽量你的内容写的，你看行不？
2 nd: The fame of a public figure often leads to extra-even excess-interest in his/her private life.

3rd: Some famous people, especially actors, have to sacrify some of their privacy in order to survive in nowadays compettitive society.

4th: As decent men, we should respect the rights of public people and tolerate some forgivable human weaknesses.

riceyzUID: 154254

呵呵，比我写的好