寄托天下
楼主: lovebrian
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[优秀习作] issue196 一标准反面教材 [复制链接]

Rank: 11Rank: 11Rank: 11Rank: 11

声望
4
寄托币
74675
注册时间
2003-7-15
精华
11
帖子
11

Gemini双子座 荣誉版主

16
发表于 2004-3-15 23:06:55 |只看该作者
:(  :(  :(

怎么一个个都幸灾乐祸的样子啊
受不了了

怎么就没个人连香惜玉尼???
什么世道嘛!!!

现在还处于挨训阶段呢,这篇实在太~~~~~~~~~~~~

大家准备好了吧,绝对的攻击点!
:mad:
爱情无需刻意去把握,越是想紧紧地抓牢自己的爱情,反而容易失去自我,失去原则,失去彼此之间本来应该保持的宽容和谅解,爱情也会因此而变的毫无美感。
每个人都希望自己拥有幸福美满的婚姻和爱情,但是爱是需要能力的,这个能力就是让你爱的人爱你。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7

声望
0
寄托币
555
注册时间
2004-3-3
精华
3
帖子
2
17
发表于 2004-3-16 13:20:32 |只看该作者

自己给猛掐了一下~~~唉~一会儿重写

196 "Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."
196. 科技产生的问题多于所解决的,可能威胁或降低人们的生活质量。

Position disagree with concession
科技给人类解决的问题大于产生的问题,因为科技大大改善了人们的生活,尽管科技的确带来了很多问题









As the development of technology, more problems are solved but new problems appear. Thus, some people as the speaker claim that technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life. In my point of view, technology solves more problems than it brings for our daily lives are turning better and better owing to technology though it creates some new problems.

b1科技解决了很多问题,使人们的生活大大改善
First, technology solves a host of problems which makes people's lives change much better than before. Technology, which affects(vt 超低级错误) even in every fields of our society and it also plays a more important role that may be a necessary kind of tool used more frequently, solves a considerable of problems such as diseases curing, traveling and transportation, education, and so on(科技的作用 科技无处不在). Nowadays, people can not live without technology at all, so to speak, technology is always everywhere around like the air. (是在说科技无处不在)People watch TV, travel among webs, make dialogues by phones or cellphones, and cook with a micro-wave oven and so on. (这些工具是人生活方便和舒适)By such various sorts of instruments of technology, it is getting more convenient and comfortable for human's life. (举例说明方便)For example, the new kind of industry, E-business has made its great success to come to us. One can select things which they want to buy on the web and input the VISA number to pay for the goods whatever are wanted whether books or a Hummer. And it will be soon to receive things you bought which should be sent to your home with perfect service. Accordingly, technology has done a great deal for human's lives.
ts是说科技解决了很多问题 改善了人们的生活 然而段落在说科技无处不在和科技给人类带来的方便 -----没有提及解决问题!是人类生活方便是否等价于解决了问题?!

b2科技是人类社会发展的手段,人们不能放弃科技
Second, in modern times, technology is the main method for people to improve our societies that should not be abandoned.(引证:科技是第一生产力) As the further leader, great politician of China, Den Xiaoping once said that technology is the first productivity. It means that technology has become the engine power of the improving of modern societies and that more and more competitions at many levels-from companies to countries-are based on a technological level at which technology itself is the only key to judge who win and who lose. The technology goes, and then human race goes after it though technology is like a little kid of human. Since it is so weighty, people would never abandon it in that people would never desire slowing our development.这一段感觉还可以~


b3科技的确带来了一些负面问题,给人们的生活带来了不变甚至威胁,人们应该发展科技而尽量减少其负面作用
Admittedly, as a coin has two sides, technology can not avoid being such a two-edged sword which also may bring in negative problems. Such as environmental pollutions, cyber crimes, and even bigger problem, for example, people are changing lonelier but few words. These problems are born after their positive sides which do put lots of people in mires sometimes(以上承认了科技是双刃剑,带来很多问题). (观点是:不应当否认科技--然后应当写为什么不应该否认科技,科技的正面,以及否认了会怎么样){But we should not deny technology for such reasons, if we do so, we would deny everything at the same reason that there are negative sides这一部分beg the question了~~~~切忌!}.{ We people, the lord of the world with high intelligence, should make it a better world with the help of technology and, of course, solve these problems as possible as we can.完全不相关}在让步之后的转折中,没有符合ts

To sum up, technology, only an instrument, should be used more properly and sufficiently with right purposes with an eye to decreasing its negative points and doing more and more contributions to our world.


混乱阿!!自己批都批成这样了`~~~
别再搜我帖子了

使用道具 举报

Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7

声望
0
寄托币
555
注册时间
2004-3-3
精华
3
帖子
2
18
发表于 2004-3-17 12:48:24 |只看该作者
to ymlu
Thanks!
  不过这片习作的结构非常有问题~~~你可以看看我自己的修改还有imong指出来的大堆问题~~
btw语言很混乱吗?什么地方读不懂?
别再搜我帖子了

使用道具 举报

RE: issue196 一标准反面教材 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
issue196 一标准反面教材
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-174153-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部